Karla Jacobs
Marketing Consultant/Creative Director
- April 23, 2009 • 5:03 pm PDT
- + responses
The Benefit of the Doubt.
It's the greatest gift to relationship you can give. To me
giving a person the benefit of the doubt means that when you feel yourself
getting riled or offended; when you feel disrespected or put-upon; when you
have an uncontrollable urge to call someone a bad name, STOP. Instead of firing
back a nasty retort or acting defensively, or stuffing feelings of anger, ask
yourself three questions:
1. What might be going on in this person's life to make them
forget their manners? (This question reminds us that each side of a
communication is the responsibility of the person sending it, and not so much a
reflection on the recipient.)
2. Can I remember a time when I was stressed and acted in a
similar way? (This reminds us that we all operate at various levels of
consciousness depending on what else is going on in our lives, and that we need
to constantly be prepared to forgive ourselves and others for lapses. This also
forces us to look at our prior communications with this person and see how our
own behavior may have triggered the situation in the first place.)
3. When I reread the email or re-listen to the voicemail, or
review the conversation, can I put a more positive spin on the communication
(or lack of communication) I received? (This reminds us to take an extra few
seconds to re-think our reactions and look the interchange in a more positive
light. Chances are, no offense was meant, and our reaction will dissipate.)
If we take these three steps instead of firing off a
knee-jerk response in kind, chances are, we'll not only feel better about
ourselves for taking the high road, but quite possibly show the other person a
more professional (and emotionally mature) way to communicate.
.JPG)
