Bridge To Terroristia

Sheikh Tarek bin Laden (the non-terrorist brother of Osama) is endeavoring to link the African and Asian contents with an 18-mile bridge across the Gate of Tears (the strait that connects the Gulf of Aden with the Red Sea). In order to do so, he will create cities (that currently don’t exist) at the future endpoints of the bridge (in Yemen and Djibouti).

From The Independent: “The new metropolises, the Saudi developer claims, will be the envy of the world: the finest hospitals and schools, world-class universities and sporting facilities—everything will be the biggest and the best. Building them will require a staggering influx of migrant labour. The Djibouti city alone needs 850,000 workers—the country’s entire population (children and babies included) is 800,000.”

Is there anything more amazing than a tale of two to-be-constructed self-referential cities getting connected by a bridge that doesn’t exist yet? Yes: the 98 more the Sheikh might build in other parts of the world. Awesome.

Note: We are fully aware that this headline is both offensive and misleading, but so is this afterthought. The sad truth of the matter is that being a Bin Laden is pretty much the same thing as being a Baldwin—you’re born into a rich and hairy frat-pack with one standout (Alec, Sheikh Tarek), a bunch of others that no one cares about, and an unequivocal black sheep (Stephen, Osama) that ruins the name for everyone. That said, headline suggestions are always welcome.