R. Martin


Dealbreaker: I Was Her 'Black Friend'

Loving her from a distance meant never having to deal with how my feelings complicated my identity as a straight black woman.

In our Dealbreakers series, exes report on the habit, belief, or boxer brief that ended the affair.

When I met Sara, I had been in a long-term relationship with a man for 18 years, but I had never stopped flirting with women. I’ve always struck up friendships with other women that I sensed stretched beyond the platonic. But because I maintained a happy relationship with my boyfriend through it all, I managed to avoid confronting any questions about my sexuality. Then, Sara hit me with one of her brilliant smiles.

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