<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e19369c-e4c8-15f3-735c-69f0a0bd9636">Looking back, I wish someone had told me how all this worked. I was only 10 years old! I didn’t know what the hell “APR” stood for. And nobody told me how little people actually make from a degree in wizarding. Now that I’m out in the “real world,” so to speak, I’m finding it hard to snag even the most entry-level salary. Believe it or not, skills like “vanquishing” and “snitch-grabbing” don’t exactly translate. I finally got a position as a sandwich artist at a new shop called Blood ‘n’ Beans. (Rumor is, I only got the gig because I could </span><em>Accio</em> roasted tomatoes faster than everyone else.) I can barely pay off the interest on my loan, let alone touch the principle.</p><p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e19369c-e4c8-15f3-735c-69f0a0bd9636">Even if I do find a job in magic, my degree is practically obsolete already because the technology moves so fast. I don’t know how do any of the latest defensive charms, and now that the damn Marauder’s Map went digital, everyone knows where I am all of the time.</span></p><p dir="ltr">[quote position="full" is_quote="true"]Believe it or not, skills like ‘vanquishing’ and ‘snitch-grabbing’ don’t exactly translate.[/quote]</p><p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e19369c-e4c8-15f3-735c-69f0a0bd9636">The way I see it, no one deserves to be punished for trying to better themselves with an education, or for not totally grasping how loans work. So I took a few semesters off to go look for Horcruxes—so what? I obviously wasn’t thinking about the interest piling up when I was out literally saving the world.</span> Sometimes I find myself nostalgically diving into the old Pensieve, reliving that first moment I signed on the dotted line. If only I had known then what taking on that debt load really meant. After seven years of school, no matter how many half-corporeal energetic animal spirit guardians I produce from my wand, I still owe someone money. I’m a debtor now, not a hero.</p><p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e19369c-e4c8-15f3-735c-69f0a0bd9636">I guess I should have known that a school with the ability to disguise itself from authorities and send students across the space-time continuum couldn’t be trusted to clearly outline its student loan terms. Worse, when I called to see if I could consolidate, the loan company would only speak to me in Parseltongue. (Never a good sign.)</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e19369c-e4c8-15f3-735c-69f0a0bd9636">I’m barely able to make any payments now, but when I do, I have zero cash left for anything besides the rent on my studio chamber and the occasional Chocolate Frog to lift my spirits. God forbid I need emergency medical care. If some new physical manifestation of Voldemort comes after me next month and I have to fly my now outdated broom to the infirmary again, I’m screwed.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e19369c-e4c8-15f3-735c-69f0a0bd9636">I suppose it’s not all doom and gloom, though. When I go out, sometimes I throw on the old Invisibility Cloak, which at least helps me avoid the owls. And I’ve managed to piece together a side gig doing magic for children’s birthday parties. Also, YouTube videos of me testing Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans have started to pay small dividends. Subscribe to my channel! I could use the ad revenue.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8e19369c-e4c8-15f3-735c-69f0a0bd9636">As for you, I advise you to pay close attention to my tale of woe. If you still think you’d like to pursue a degree in wizarding, consider a state school. Or maybe the University of Phoenix Feathers? Sure, it’s online-only, and nearly as pricey as Hogwarts, but Snape told me they’ve got a pretty good postgrad job program.</span></p>
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