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Dear Santa, Just Sign Up for Gmail Already

Getting a message to Saint Nick has never been easy.

Illustration by Addison Eaton

Every year, thousands of little cherubs and rascals try their hands at letters to Santa. As their own attorneys in the court of naughty and nice, they make a case for a verdict that will award them their fantasy presents, whether that be dolls, a new bicycle, peace on Earth, or a just lifetime supply of fun dip and pixie sticks. But where and how to send these adorable holiday missives? The North Pole has a notoriously understaffed post office, and Santa, despite his other good qualities and considerable patience has never really been much of a reader, anyway. This year, as always, these important polar dispatches will be sent by many means, the necessary thing being that the toys, fun, and candy flow in kind.

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