A man went on his usual jog down a trail he used daily, but this time it was a little different. Dressed in matching sweatpants and a hoodie, he saw a woman coming from the opposite direction. The man noticed that the woman changed pace from walking to running. He then looked behind him and saw her giving him a concerned look when their eyes met. Later, the man went on Reddit to discuss the situation, writing, “I can’t help but feel like she was running from me.”
While he was just doing his routine exercise, the man couldn’t help but feel “bad and in a way gross.” Wanting to make sure he didn’t make women feel unsafe, he then asked folks online what he could have done better.
Men empathized and offered advice
The comments were filled with men who empathized and offered advice:
“I had a teacher put cat bells on his runners so people would stop calling the police on him for running in his own neighborhood. Can’t sneak up on anyone or surprise them.”
“I’m 7’2”. I have an oddly quiet and frankly creepy voice, I have many tattoos and I walk like im a killer in a slasher movie due to knee issues. I couldn’t be more scary if I tried. I was once walking to my truck after working at an office park with a shared parking lot. It was just going dark and I think I gave a woman a heart attack. I thought about a propeller hat but that just feels somehow more sinister.”
“Neon running clothes can help you be seen and have the benefit of looking goofy.”
“Man, the sneak up thing is a real headscratcher. People just do not pay attention and there’s only so much you can do. I was running with a bright (I mean BRIGHT) headlamp one evening and still managed to scare the piss out of a lady. She actually screamed.”
“I believe a closed mouth smile can go a long way. It says “I’m friendly but not trying to be friendly with you.”
Women offered context, tips, and explanations
There were also comments from women offering tips and explaining their feelings about such situations:
“I’d suggest you keep the interaction to a minimum — just a “morning” is enough, or even pretending not to notice. And, unless you feel like you are in danger (say, you hear footsteps approaching you from behind), no need to look back. Speaking from a woman’s perspective: it’s not personal. You’re a stranger, and some of us will be wary regardless, especially alone.”
“I feel safest when I think I’m going unnoticed. Pretending like you dont see her is best bet but if you do make eye contact, a short hello would be fine. Thanks for caring, OP.”
“When I am approaching someone from behind I say ‘beep beep.’ But I’m also female and dress like a dude when I go out for walks so I don’t get harassed. I go for walks at night with dark colored pants, hoodie on over my head, stun gun flashlight in my hand. It’s funny how we have to behave differently for the opposite gender. It’s like instinctual for me. I never really thought about it. But yeah if I saw a man in some neon colors or doing little dance-run moves I’d feel safer than if I saw me coming.”
“Personally, I’ve had a few men over the years call out from a decent distance ‘coming up behind you!’ when they were running, and I’ve appreciated their thoughtfulness and I always thank them. I even had a guy at a craft store looking at the same display as me several years ago say ‘reaching behind you’ when he needed something in front of me, and I found that extra sweet and thoughtful, too.”
“Not taking it personally is the only thing to do. When we do things for our safety it’s not about you. We’d rather be safe than risk being hurt to avoid hurting your feelings. The only way to stop that is to stop men from being threats to women and that’s just not possible. Or at least, it’s never happened. The best way to make a woman feel safe when you’re out running at night is to go about your business and pay no attention to her.”
“As a woman, my advice would be to try and not take things personally. The way we react has little to do with you, and more to do with previous situations me and many others have found ourselves in. One creepy dude is all it takes for us to become extra cautious forever, and react in ways which might make you feel like there’s something about you that causes it. There isn’t. And honestly, other than minding your business there’s not much else you can do, unfortunately.”
There are many thoughts on how to make women feel safer when jogging, including how women prepare and how men should behave. Regardless of what specific advice one follows, staying mindful can help everyone involved stay and feel safe.













