Getting The Best Sleep Of Your Life Is Simpler Than You Think

An expert, a scientist, and a narcoleptic tell it like it is

Dec 22, 2016

December 22, 2016

We all want it, need it, and could probably use a lot more of it. Getting the recommended eight hours of shut-eye every night means spending a third of our lives sleeping, so it’s no wonder we’re obsessed with it. Companies have lunged on the opportunity to sell sleep, prompting all kinds of products ranging the gamut from foam pillows to inflatable hoodies. We recirculate myths all the time about turkey putting us to sleep and six hours a night being perfectly acceptable. As the sleep debate rages on, there are a few tried and true methods that will beat out the latest harebrained trend. Here’s what the experts have to say:

A Sleep Expert On Creating A Bedroom Oasis

We all know that eating a pile of street tacos after a night of heavy drinking never ends with a great night of sleep, but what about a single nightcap? Peter Fontaine, president and CEO of Epoch Sleep Centers, says it’s all about timing. Have that glass of wine with dinner, says Fontaine, but don’t bring another glass to bed with you. Drinking right before turning in for the night—even just one glass—can disrupt natural sleep patterns.

In this modern world, however, a glass of pinot might be the least of your problems. As Fontaine explains,

“If you think about it, the natural light we get from the sun is the only light we’ve had for years up until the early 1800s. So the brain is still in its infancy in relationship to the development of artificial light … especially blue light from computers and phones. (Blue light) causes melatonin—which is a natural sleep aid produced by the brain—to be suppressed if too much is introduced.”

Fontaine cites this overstimulation as the major cause of the modern sleep epidemic, a problem that leaves about a third of Americans sleep deprived. There are clear links between sleep deprivation and “a number of chronic diseases and conditions, including diabetes, cardiovascular disease, obesity, and depression,” the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports. In this sense, getting regular sleep isn’t just about feeling energized, but about taking control of your overall health as well.

Dr. Fontaine’s top tips for getting a restful night of sleep include sticking to a regular bedtime, taking a nighttime bath, setting your devices on silent, turning the lights down low, and avoiding negative material right before bed. In the same way parents don’t let kids watch scary movies right before bed, adults should follow their own advice if they want to sleep through the night. “Adults have the ability to not have nightmares or suppress it,” says Fontaine, “but many adults just can’t fall asleep after watching something negative.” Take it from someone who thought it was a good idea to watch Blackfish right before bed—stick to some optimistic reading instead. Fontaine calls these tips “sleep hygiene,” and we should all do our best to develop good sleep hygiene by reducing external stimuli in the hours before we settle into bed.

But what if you’ve tried every tip known to man and still nothing seems to work? At that point, Fontaine says, it might be good to consider having your sleep patterns studied by an expert. With many of his patients, the culprit is usually sleep apnea, which causes sufferers to repeatedly choke throughout the night. In cases of moderate to severe sleep apnea, medical intervention is required.

A Scientist On Creating The Perfect Formula For Sleep

Time named Hmbldt’s vaporizer pen one of the 25 best inventions of 2016 for good reason. The pens combine science, technology, and good design to deliver controlled hits of cannabis oil to relieve specific symptoms. Whether you’re looking to reduce pain, feel calm, or get a good night’s sleep, there’s a vape pen for that very purpose. Hmbldt’s Chief Science Officer, Samantha Miller, explained the complex process behind creating the perfect formula for sleep.

To address the variety of problems related to sleeplessness with one formula, Miller looked at combining THC, the psychoactive compound, with its nonpsychoactive cousin, CBD. For Miller, the choice to create a THC-dominant formula was an obvious one. CBD, while having excellent pain-relieving qualities, causes many people to experience alertness or wakefulness. Despite this surprising effect, CBD still has a big role to play in guaranteeing good sleep. As Sam explains,

“CBD helps prolong the effects of THC, so when we get to the problem of staying asleep or having the pain relief long enough so you’re able to get several hours of sleep, that’s where the balance of the CBD comes in. The balance was to find the right ratio between THC and CBD, so that you affect those things in the direction you want, but not overdo the CBD and have a wakefulness issue.”

Complement that ratio with a balanced terpene profile, and you have a winning combination for a good night’s sleep. After testing out seven different formulas, Miller and her team arrived at a perfect blend that helps more than 85 percent of consumers get a good night’s sleep.

Obviously, this process is a little more scientific than scouring Leafly for sleepy strains of cannabis. While loading up on Sour Diesel and smoking yourself to sleep might do the trick one night, there’s no guarantee you’ll have the same experience the next. The problem lies in organic variability, says Miller. As she explains,

“There’s a lot of variation even within one batch of flowers in terms of the terpene content and the cannabinoid content. So, from flower to flower you can have variation, and you certainly have more variation from batch to batch. It’s difficult to have a reliable and consistent experience.”

As with most medications, there is the possibility of building a tolerance over time, making cannabis less effective. To prevent that, Miller suggests mixing up your routine once a week with a different strain. “Every individual is a little bit different so it’s good to listen to your body and be aware of your experience,” says Miller, “You can make small adjustments that can really give you an overall successful wellness regimen on cannabis.”

A Narcoleptic On The Research We Still Need To Do

Product manager Morgan Cohn knows firsthand that all the tips in the world can’t help when you have a chronic sleep disorder. At first, she assumed she was your average insomniac—considering she had a difficult time falling asleep at night and would fall asleep during the day as a result. Doing a little bit of research for a college paper helped Cohn discover that she actually had narcolepsy, a sleep disorder that causes excessive daytime drowsiness. Some of the symptoms include hallucinations, sleep paralysis, excessive fatigue, and immediate REM sleep. While treatments often range from natural supplements and regular exercise to antidepressants and stimulants, researchers have yet to find a cure.

Finding a remedy is going to require not just diligent work from sleep scientists but awareness from the general public as well. As Cohn explains,

I don’t think we understand enough about sleep disorders to cure any of them and, unfortunately, there really isn’t really a lot of interest in sleep disorders like narcolepsy, especially since so many cases go undiagnosed.

So, if you’ve tried everything and your sleep troubles still keep you up at night, consider participating in a sleep study. You could be part of the solution to end chronic sleep disorders for good.

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Health, Well-being

Therapist shares 5 ways to be ‘less annoying’ in conversations and it’s a must-watch

None of these habits are malicious. But they sure are annoying.

Mark Wales

5/21/2026

Most people think they come across as helpful, engaged, and supportive in conversations. But according to one therapist, these talking habits may be sending a very different message than intended.

Jeffery, a licensed therapist on TikTok, breaks down five common conversational mistakes people make that can come across as annoying. In the post, viewers didn’t just agree with the list. They began recognizing the same behaviors in friends, family, and even themselves.

Making the conversation about yourself

People can mistake sharing personal experiences for the perfect way to show empathy and compassion. It begins innocently enough when someone opens up about something personal. Unfortunately, the listener responds with a story of their own. Both people are trying to connect, but the focus has now completely shifted.

“When someone constantly redirects conversations back to themselves, people start feeling unimportant,” Jeffery explains. “When every story somehow becomes about you, people stop feeling listened to and start feeling dismissed.”

A 2023 experiment suggested that reciprocal disclosure increases interpersonal trust. However, an imbalance in the conversation can create feelings of one-sidedness. This “stealing of the spotlight” reduces connection.

An unhappy couple gets defensive.
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Getting super defensive

Few things shut down a conversation faster than defensiveness. Even simple misunderstandings can turn tense when people instinctively try to correct rather than understand.

“If every single piece of feedback turns into an excuse or an argument, people eventually stop being honest with you,” Jeffery points out. “Constructive feedback and even some criticism is not always an attack. Sometimes people are simply trying to improve the relationship or communicate something important to you.”

Psychologists describe this behavior as “psychological defensiveness.” Interestingly, a 2024 study found that defensiveness can be reduced if people are warned beforehand in the right way. Conversation works best when it is framed as a collaborative effort rather than an educational or teaching moment.

A woman receives a polygraph test.
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Drilling people after they apologize

There is a delicate balance between asking for clarity after an apology and turning the conversation into an interrogation.

“If someone apologizes and you accept it, but then you keep hammering them over the mistake afterward, it will become exhausting and very annoying,” Jeffery adds. “If people feel like apologizing never actually ends the conflict, they actually become less likely to take accountability in the future.”

People often mistake feedback for a personal attack on their own truth. There’s a popular statement often attributed to Marcus Aurelius claiming that much of what we perceive is shaped by interpretation rather than fact. People can share their opinions. We don’t have to defend ourselves against all of them.

Stop constantly complaining

Everyone deserves an opportunity to vent. But when every conversation circles back to frustration without change, it can become emotionally exhausting for the listener. Over time, even the most supportive friends can start to pull back.

“Talking about problems is normal,” says Jeffery. “But if almost every interaction revolves around negativity, people start associating you with emotional exhaustion. Nobody wants to leave conversations feeling drained every single time.”

This pattern of constant, dissatisfied venting has even found its way into pop culture. Maybe you remember the infamous George Costanza from the award-winning show Seinfeld. His nonstop stream of complaints was a running joke about negativity. It’s fun to watch and laugh at, but far less enjoyable to encounter in real life.

A conversation turns to comparison.
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One-upping people’s negative emotions

Sometimes, someone takes a risk and shares a particularly challenging experience. In an attempt to show empathy, saying “I get it” might land more like “that’s not a big deal.” It’s important to offer emotional validation rather than comparison.

“If someone opens up about something painful and your immediate reaction is to explain how you had it worse, it can make the other person feel completely invalidated,” Jeffery says. “They just want to feel heard and emotionally supported in that moment.”

A 2023 study revealed that someone trying to relate can sometimes redirect attention away from the original speaker. People feel more supported when their emotions are directly acknowledged instead of reframed or one-upped.

A woman reflected in mirrors.
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The comments quickly turn to self-reflection

Many people said Jeffrey’s list felt immediately familiar, whether in conversations with friends or in their own behavior. These annoying habits became surprisingly relatable once someone pointed them out. Here are some of those thoughts:

“silently reposting this for one of my friends to find”

“The first one has ended relationships for me, not because I do it, but because they did it. It’s absolutely exhausting.”

“I know one of my friends are gonna tag me in this later”

“I’ve noticed over the years that my annoying personality will surface when I’m trying to protect myself..”

“I have such a hard time with #1 and I am so aware of it sometimes but I find it so difficult to not do when talking to someone.”

“I do all of these maybe I should go back to therapy”

What might be surprising is that many of these habits are things people slip into without realizing it. Jeffrey’s list doesn’t suggest people are intentionally difficult. He points out that annoying conversations can arise from good intentions, too. Allowing a person to be heard can matter more than offering advice that might fix the problem.

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Photo credit: Canva – A woman intensely exercises, left, and a morning stretch, right.

Care, Health

More women are rejecting ‘optimization culture’ for realistic wellness plans

Feel great and be happy.

Mark Wales

5/16/2026

Being fit used to mean getting enough sleep, drinking more water, and moving your body, perhaps in a daily walk. With the explosion of social media and digital self-help trends, finding an acceptable level of wellness can feel like stepping into a full-time job with daily performance reviews.

For many women, what started as self-care has slowly become another exhausting form of self-optimization. And increasingly, they’re pretty much done with it. According to Women’s Business Daily, one of the biggest wellness shifts happening right now is a move away from extreme routines. Women want habits that actually fit into real life.

An intense workout.
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Wellness feels like a full-time job

Instead of chasing perfection, more women are choosing what can be described as a more realistic approach to wellness, incorporating sustainable routines built around balance and emotional well-being rather than climbing a never-ending ladder of constant improvement.

The shift comes after a solid decade of what many refer to online as “optimization culture.” This exhausting idea assumes that every part of life needs to be carefully measured, improved, and optimized.

Experts believe this mindset is not only making people miserable; it’s unsustainable.

An exhausting routine.
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A backlash against the “always improve yourself” culture

A recent article in Psychology Today found that “wellnessmaxxing” trends turn self-care into another form of anxiety. This is especially true when routines become so demanding that people feel more guilt than relief. As creators post TikToks showing themselves “maxing out” in some kind of self-congratulation, they spread unhelpful expectations that no longer promote self-care.

Verywell Health explains that these influencers broadcast an all-consuming performance metric. People now face a painful realization that they can never do enough. It’s hard to miss the irony that wellness has begun to feel unhealthy.

Women are increasingly embracing low-pressure routines instead of overly aspirational ones. Think walks instead of cross-training, and a morning meditation instead of a week-long stay at a Tibetan monastery. It’s okay to just eat more vegetables instead of a perfectly balanced daily nutrition plan of 150 grams of protein, wheatgrass smoothies, and specifically rated pH-balanced alkaline water.

After all the extreme exercises, self-help books, and sophisticated meal plans, it’s time to get back to basics. Here’s one version of a realistic plan: drink some water, get outside, and try to sleep a little better.

A casual walk with a dog.
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Getting back to the basics

A beauty editor writing for Who What Wear documented her attempt to follow a social-media-inspired wellness reset. With all the expensive and complicated habits she hoped would unlock the “incredibly high-functioning, ultra-productive version” of herself, she came away understanding that she should stick with the basics.

Modern life already asks women to juggle careers, caregiving, appearance standards, finances, and relationships. Somewhere along the journey, wellness became just one more category to add to the pile.

Maintaining a perfect life balance.
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Women are choosing simple, sustainable routines

Finding realistic wellness is a trend that reflects a growing desire for community-centered wellness rather than isolated self-improvement. Instead of wellness looking like a solo pursuit for an achievement award, many women are leaning toward connection: walking groups, shared meals, accountability with friends, and being honest about feeling burned out on all of it.

The Times reports that people feel walking groups are less intimidating and more emotionally supportive. People don’t just want fitness; they want to belong to something.

A 2025 study in Frontiers in Psychology focused on the benefits of women finding social support groups. Programs that incorporated women’s preferences into their daily lives were more likely to be enjoyed and maintained.

Wellness cultures have told women the answer is to do more: more discipline, more self-reflection, more perfect sleep, more work dedication, more family direction, more effort.

Making life more enjoyable and realistic can help well-being feel easier to maintain. A joyful life is better lived “in” than constantly measured “against” unrealistic expectations.

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Photo credit: MoMo Productions/DigitalVision via Getty Images – Emphasizing the sounds of certain words to young children can help them retain language, not confuse them about speaking properly.

Health, Research

Is baby talk bad? Why ‘parentese’ actually helps babies learn language

Sing-song speech can support early language growth.

Good Partner

5/15/2026

Karen Stollznow

Many parents have heard the warning: Don’t use baby talk with babies and toddlers. Instead, caregivers are often encouraged to speak properly and use adultlike language, out of concern that simplified speech could confuse children or delay language development.

But my research, which I highlighted in in my new book, “Beyond Words,” suggests the opposite is true. The sing-song voice many adults instinctively use with infants, sometimes called “baby talk” but more accurately known as “parentese” or infant-directed speech, actually helps children learn language.

Far from confusing babies, exaggerating phrases like “Loooook at the doggie!” capture their attention, help them detect patterns in speech and strengthen social bonding.

And the funny mistakes children make along the way, such as saying “goed,” instead of “went,” or “mouses” instead of “mice,” are not signs that children are learning language incorrectly. They are evidence that children are actively working out the rules of language for themselves.

Speaking ‘parentese’ to a child doesn’t involve nonsense words. BjelicaS/E+ via Getty Images

What parentese really is

When many people think of baby talk, they imagine nonsense phrases like “goo goo ga ga” or made-up words like “num nums.” But that’s not what linguists and developmental psychologists mean by parentese.

Parentese uses real words and grammatically correct sentences, but with exaggerated intonation, a higher pitch, stretched-out vowels and a slower rhythm. Think of the way a caregiver might naturally say: “Hi, baaaaby! Are you huuungry?”

There is little evidence that occasional playful nonsense words harm children’s language development. But studies suggest that parentese in particular helps babies pay attention to speech, recognize patterns and engage socially.

Adults across cultures tend to speak this way to infants instinctively. Even people who swear they never use baby talk often slip into it around babies.

Researchers have found that infants actually prefer listening to parentese over regular adult speech. The exaggerated sounds and slower pacing make language easier to process. Babies are better able to pick out individual sounds, notice word boundaries and recognize patterns. In other words, parentese helps tune babies into language.

It also strengthens emotional connection. Language learning does not happen in isolation. Babies learn through warm, responsive interaction with caregivers during feeding, play, bath time and everyday routines.

Interestingly, humans are not the only ones who respond to this style of communication. Studies have even shown that cats react more positively when people use a baby-talk voice with them.

Babies are not passive learners

Children do not learn language simply by copying adults word for word. They actively test hypotheses about how language works. That is why toddlers make predictable and surprisingly logical mistakes.

One common example is overgeneralization. A child learns that people form the past tense of many verbs by adding “-ed,” so they produce forms like “goed,” “eated” or “comed.”

These are not random errors. In fact, they show that the child has understood a grammatical rule and is trying to apply it consistently. The problem is simply that English is full of irregular exceptions. The same thing happens with plurals. Children may say “foots” instead of “feet” or “mouses” instead of “mice.” Again, the logic behind these errors is sound.

Linguists sometimes say that children are little scientists, constantly testing patterns and revising their understanding as they receive more input from the world around them.

Why toddlers call everything a ‘dog’

Young children also make predictable mistakes with meaning.

A toddler might learn the word “dog” and then use it for every four-legged animal they encounter. Linguists call this overextension. On the flip side, some children use words too narrowly. A child may use “dog” only for the family pet and not recognize that other dogs belong in the same category. Linguists call this tendency underextension.

These mistakes reveal how children organize and categorize the world around them. They are gradually mapping words onto objects, people and experiences.

Pronouns are another tricky area. Small children often confuse “me” and “you” because these words constantly shift depending on who is speaking. If a parent says, “I’ll pick you up,” the child hears themselves called “you.” But when they try to repeat the sentence, they may not yet understand that the labels switch from speaker to speaker.

This is why toddlers sometimes say things that sound unintentionally cute or confusing. But beneath the confusion is a sophisticated learning process.

Even the Cookie Monster gets it wrong

Children’s speech errors are so recognizable that they often appear in popular culture. Sesame Street’s character Cookie Monster famously says things like “Me want cookie,” while Elmo often refers to himself in the third person: “Elmo wants this.” These speech patterns mirror real stages of child language development. Young children commonly confuse pronouns or refer to themselves by name before mastering forms like “I,” “me” and “mine.”

Despite occasional complaints from adults, there is no evidence that hearing this kind of speech harms children’s language development. If anything, it reflects the natural experimentation children go through.

The Cookie Monster saying ‘Me want cookie’ won’t teach babies and young kids to speak incorrectly. Brian Killian/WireImage via Getty Images

‘Pasketti’ and ‘wabbit’

Pronunciation develops gradually too. Young children often simplify difficult sounds and groups of consonants. “Spaghetti” becomes “pasketti,” “rabbit” becomes “wabbit” and “yellow” may come out as “lellow.”

Speech-language specialists call these simplifications phonological processes. They are a normal part of development because some sounds are physically harder to produce than others. Sounds such as r, th, sh and ch tend to develop later because they require more precise control of the tongue and mouth.

Most children naturally outgrow these pronunciation patterns as their speech matures. However, persistent difficulties can sometimes signal a speech or language disorder, which may require professional support.

Children don’t learn language by copying adults word for word. They learn through interaction, experimentation and repetition. DrAfter123/DigitalVision Vectors via Getty Images

Mistakes are part of learning

Parents are often under enormous pressure to do everything right, including helping their children learn to speak a language. But children do not learn language by avoiding mistakes. They learn through interaction, experimentation and repetition.

Parentese helps babies focus on speech and engage socially. The funny mistakes toddlers make reveal that they are actively piecing together the complex system of language and are often signs of normal development. Language acquisition is messy, creative and remarkably sophisticated.

Speaking in an exaggerated sing-song voice to a baby is not something parents and caregivers need to feel embarrassed about.

Far from harming language acquisition, it may help lay the foundation for it.

This article originally appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

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