Social events offer a networking opportunity for some, while others find them a challenging night of poorly navigated social interactions. Learning how to communicate our thoughts and feelings effectively requires discipline and practice.
There are certain behaviors and absolute “don’t do’s” that some people bring to conversations. These habits and actions should be avoided at all costs. Social interactions require energy, and sometimes it only takes one person to ruin any event.
These are 7 conversational don’ts that will declare your below-average social skills:
Your personal body issues
The most critical component to any personal disclosure is “contextual appropriateness.” A 2023 study at Cornell University explored the concept of whether messages are perceived as “appropriate” depending on the closeness of the people involved, which provides the context. By examining the interactions, they suggested that the more personal the relationship, the more leeway there is. However, in a new, casual environment, body talk is just kind of ick. A 2024 study published by Wiley Online Library found that the more intimate and personal the self-disclosure, the less appropriate it is.
Nobody wants to see or hear about your rash. “Hi. You might find me attractive; however, this is what’s particularly gross about me today.” Not the best starter to a conversation.
A simple character assassination
As excitable as talking trash or gossiping might be, it’s not a very becoming behavior. A 2022 study in the National Library of Medicine found that even children intuitively preferred positive talk to negative, to the extent that they attempted to build friendships with those who spread positive talk. A 2025 study on ResearchGate indicated that the aggressive and hostile weaponization of social tools was associated with a lack of healthy communication skills.
When people spread negative information about others, it not only demonstrates poor social competence but also exposes low self-esteem and insecurity.
A personal interrogation
A 2024 study in ScienceDirect found that people consider personal inquiries intrusive and socially inappropriate during social gatherings and informal settings. These types of questions and behaviors can damage rapport and likability. Avoiding intrusive thoughts and questions demonstrates a recognition of social boundaries.
No person should feel obligated to share their address, annual salary, or weight. You never know what things someone finds personal. It’s better to get to know someone a little before going for the intimate details.
Sales pitching
A 2025 study from Washington State University found that these behaviors violated social norms and were more prevalent than in a traditional public space.
Bringing a sales pitch into a casual conversation often makes people feel manipulated. No person wants to be treated as a means to achieving a profit margin. Creating the “salesman” perception erodes trust and weakens rapport. Both are crucial for a healthy and prosperous social interaction.
Just joking insults
Making fun of someone and then tossing in a “just joking” to alleviate some of the sting simply doesn’t work. Insults often stem from a person’s need to elevate their own personal status. A 2022 study in Frontiers found that people had physical reactions to verbal insults. Activated brain regions associated with pain and stress indicated that insults have a substantial emotional impact.
Making people feel bad so you don’t have to is a 100-level college course in poor social behavior. Nobody likes a jerk.
Doom spiraling
It’s a complicated world. Bad things often accompany the good. Focusing on all the wrong things in the world might make for an exciting conversation, but nobody wants to be around constant negativity. A 2024 study in Harvard Health found that negative news reinforced negative thoughts and feelings, which worsen depression and anxiety.
Commiserating over life’s challenges can be a valuable tool. Dumping all your pain and disapproval on other people makes them feel bad. If you’re going to drop the dread, you’d better mix in some things that are going great.
Shaky boundaries
Some people have absolutely no self-control. They might be deviant or fail to recognize their inappropriate behavior. Individuals who consistently violate social boundaries often create strained relationships that can lead to potential conflict. A 2025 study in Science Direct found that shaky boundaries led to social exhaustion. These individuals usually exhibit poor self-control and a heightened susceptibility to aggressive behaviors.
What makes a healthy communicator?
After reading about the wrong, what about the right? A 2025 study on ResearchGate analyzed the most effective tools for fostering healthy and productive relationships in both a person’s personal and professional life. These are the behaviors that demonstrate successful social skills:
- Clarity – adds intention to ensure things are clearly understood to avoid miscommunication.
- Active listening – avoids people only waiting for their turn to speak. Listening to another person builds trust.
- Empathy helps others feel understood. The ability to grasp the words and the emotion behind them fosters calm and constructive conversations.
- Feedback – provides insight and clarifies that the message is understood while encouraging respectful dialogue.
