Do you have anxiety? Have you tried just about everything to get over it, but it just keeps coming back? Perhaps you thought you had got over it, only for the symptoms to return with a vengeance? Whatever your circumstances, science can help you to beat anxiety for good.

Anxiety can present as fear, restlessness, an inability to focus at work or school, finding it hard to fall or stay asleep at night, or getting easily irritated. In social situations, it can make it hard to talk to others; you might feel like you’re constantly being judged, or have symptoms such as stuttering, sweating, blushing or an upset stomach.

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Representative Image: Anxiety can manifest in many different ways. Canva

It can appear out of the blue as a panic attack, when sudden spikes of anxiety make you feel like you’re about to have a heart attack, go mad or lose control. Or it can be present all the time, as in generalized anxiety disorder, when diffuse and pervasive worry consumes you and you look to the future with dread.

Most people experience it at some point, but if anxiety starts interfering with your life, sleep, ability to form relationships or productivity, you might have an anxiety disorder. Research shows that if left untreated, anxiety can lead to depression, early death and suicide. And while it can indeed lead to such serious health consequences, the medication that is prescribed to treat anxiety doesn’t often work in the long-term. Symptoms often return and you’re back where you started.

How science can help

The way you handle things in life has a direct impact on how much anxiety you experience. By tweaking your coping strategy you can lower your anxiety levels. Here are some of the top coping skills that have emerged from our study at the University of Cambridge, which will be presented at the 30th European Congress of Neuropsychopharmacology in Paris.

This may sound strange, but the writer and poet GK Chesterton said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” And he has a point. This works so well because it speeds up your decision-making process and catapults you straight into action. Otherwise, you could spend hours deciding how or what you should do, which can be very time-consuming and stressful.

“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”

— GK Chesterton

People often want to do something “perfectly” or wait for the “perfect time” before starting. However, this can lead to procrastination, long delays, or even prevent us from doing it at all, which causes stress and anxiety.

Instead, why not just start by “doing it badly” and without worrying about how it’s going to turn out? This will not only make it much easier to begin, but you’ll also find that you’re completing tasks much more quickly than before. More often than not, you’ll also discover that you’re not doing it that badly after all—even if you are, you can always fine-tune it later.

Using “do it badly” as a motto gives you the courage to try new things, adds a little fun to everything, and stops you worrying too much about the outcome. It’s about doing it badly today and improving as you go. Ultimately, it’s about liberation.

Forgive yourself and ‘wait to worry’

Are you particularly critical of yourself and the blunders you make? Well, imagine if you had a friend who constantly pointed out everything that was wrong with you and your life. You’d probably want to get rid of them right away.

But people with anxiety often do this to themselves so frequently that they don’t even realize it anymore. They’re just not kind to themselves.

So perhaps it’s time to change and start forgiving ourselves for the mistakes we make. If you feel like you’ve embarrassed yourself in a situation, don’t criticize yourself – simply realize that you have this impulse to blame yourself, then drop the negative thought and redirect your attention back to the task at hand or whatever you were doing.

Another effective strategy is to “wait to worry.” If something went wrong and you feel compelled to worry (because you think you screwed up), don’t do this immediately. Instead, postpone your worry – set aside 10 minutes each day during which you can worry about anything.

If you do this, you’ll find that when you come back to the situation that triggered the initial anxiety, you won’t perceive it as bothersome or worrisome. Our thoughts actually decay very quickly if we don’t feed them with energy.

Find purpose in life by helping others

It’s also worth considering how much of your day is spent with someone else in mind? If it’s very little or none at all, then you’re at a high risk of poor mental health. Regardless of how much we work or the amount of money we make, we can’t be truly happy until we know that someone else needs us and depends on our productivity or love.

This doesn’t mean that we need people’s praise, but doing something with someone else in mind takes the spotlight off of us (and our anxieties and worries) and places it onto others – and how we can make a difference to them.

Being connected to people has regularly been shown to be one of the most potent buffers against poor mental health. The neurologist Viktor Frankl wrote:

“For people who think there’s nothing to live for, nothing more to expect from life — the question is getting these people to realise that life is still expecting something from them.”

“…the question is getting these people to realise that life is still expecting something from them.”

— Viktor Frankl

Knowing that someone else needs you makes it easier to endure the toughest times. You’ll know the “why” for your existence and will be able to bear almost any “how”.

So how can you make yourself important in someone else’s life? It could be as simple as taking care of a child or elderly parent, volunteering, or finishing work that might benefit future generations. Even if these people never realize what you’ve done for them, it doesn’t matter because you will know. And this will make you realize the uniqueness and importance of your life.

Olivia Remes is a PhD Candidate at the University of Cambridge.

This article first appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

This article originally appeared last year.

  • Licensed therapist says these 3 steps stop rude people from hijacking your mind
    Woman exhausted by man's poor behavior.Photo credit: Canva

    Licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer offers three steps for dealing with rude people. In his helpful TikTok post under the name therapytothepoint, he suggests helpful tactics that go far beyond setting simple boundaries.

    Rude people are almost impossible to avoid, and the instinct to snap back or make a passive-aggressive remark can be strong. Meltzer shares some practical mental health advice that can lead to a calmer resolution.

    It Begins With Emotional Regulation

    Some individuals might believe that other people are responsible for how they make us feel. Meltzer suggests that self-regulation is an important first step to dealing with disrespectful people. Despite instincts to retaliate or escalate the situation, staying calm is more effective.

    Meltzer proposes that reciprocating aggression will only embolden a rude person and even justify their poor behavior. Instead, calmness and controlling our emotions will disrupt the pattern. Meltzer explains, “You might feel angry, embarrassed, disrespected, but calmness is about your behavior, despite the internal chaos you may be having. At the end of the day, emotional regulation is your strength, and reactivity gives your power away.”

    A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine found that people’s ability to reappraise a stressful event in a more balanced way was strongly linked to greater resilience and better recovery from stress. The strategy helps people stay calmer by changing how the brain interprets the event.

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    A woman is rudely interrupted on the phone.
    Photo credit Canva

    Passive Aggression Is NOT a Solution

    An easy response might be the simple eye roll, sarcasm, or a retaliatory personal dig. Meltzer points out that these are only ego attempts to win an unwinnable situation. “Instead, be straightforward. I’m open to talking about this, but not like that. It’s hard for me to connect when you speak to me that way.” Meltzer explains that these tactics bring clarity and remove the defensive guard of said rude individuals.

    A 2026 study in Psychology Today reported that passive-aggressive behaviors worsen relationship dynamics and fail to resolve disagreements. Criticism, ostracism (ignoring others), and sabotage all undermine cooperation and relational success.

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    A man blows a dandelion in a woman’s face.
    Photo credit Canva

    Role play works

    Practice makes perfect has value in dealing with rude people. “You don’t magically become composed under pressure; you train for it.” Meltzer continues, “Practice with a friend. Practice with your therapist. Have them be rude. Respond calmly. Respond assertively. Respond clearly. Because in real life, you don’t rise to the moment, you fall to your level of preparation.”

    A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine revealed that an individual’s level of assertiveness can be trained. The strategy of preparation reduced feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.

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    Interrupting a meditation.
    Photo credit Canva

    Stay Calm, Be Assertive, and Practice

    The solutions offered by Meltzer seem to resonate. Several people reveal their own struggles when facing similar predicaments. These are some of their comments:

    “Practice with a therapist? Why didn’t I think of that”

    “You don’t rise to the moment you fall to the level of your preparation. I’m gonna memorize that.”

    “I’m waiting for you to write a book about all your amazing insights”

    “I can handle them but i internalize later n let it ruin my day”

    “The real skill is knowing when to ignore and when to address it. Not everything deserves your energy.”

    “Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength. Just say that to them and if they continue, walk away with a smile.”

    Meltzer advises that the best way to handle rudeness begins with how we respond. Diffusing a situation helps maintain peace of mind. Remaining composed helps control our own reactions. In the end, rehearsing for success allows us to stay confident when difficult situations arise.

  • Love educator shares how awkward flirting can be turned into a romantic superpower
    A couple flirts on the dance floor.Photo credit: Canva

    In a recent TED Talk, love coach Francesca Hogi shared how even your awkward flirting can be a superpower. Sometimes mistaken as off-putting, flirting actually offers a powerful gateway to real human connection.

    By reframing flirting as an act of curiosity, she explains how anyone can kickstart attraction and open the door to lasting love. In an impassioned presentation, Hogi demystifies flirting and explains why building attraction matters.

    Flirting can be a superpower

    Hogi explains that for 12 years she’s been helping people fall in love as both a matchmaker and a coach. “As a love professional, I can assure you that many dating problems can be solved with flirting,” Hogi says. “If you’re single, it helps you to connect and fall in love. If you’re partnered, it helps you to reignite or maintain the spark of chemistry that brought you together in the first place.”

    Many might have concerns about their ability to flirt. Will they be received well, or are they even doing it right? Hogi explains, “I’ve got good news for the introverts out there. You don’t have to be extroverted to be a magnet for connection. In fact, I believe that introverts have a secret advantage when it comes to flirting because your efforts at being more open feel more genuinely inspired by another person and therefore special.”

    She shares that flirting can give you confidence and courage. She also acknowledges that feeling awkward is normal. “Confidence with flirting comes from knowing yourself, your intentions, reading the room, discerning other people’s reactions, and adapting accordingly,” she says. “Sometimes it’s going to be awkward, sometimes it’s going to be embarrassing, and that’s okay.”

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    A couple enjoys flirting.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Healthy flirting

    “Flirting gives you more agency over human connection,” says Hogi.

    She then describes the two foundational principles of healthy flirting. The first is presence: being in the moment and avoiding distractions like a phone or the surrounding environment. The second is enthusiasm. Getting the right vibe while being enthusiastic goes a long way toward mastering the art of flirting. These principles have a strong effect on other people.

    Hogi explains that expressing positive intentions has a large impact on outcomes:

    “You have the ability to leave other people feeling good for having interacted with you…Even your unspoken appreciation for a shared moment of connection, no matter how brief, can often be felt. Lean into being the version of you who leaves other people with a smile on their face and notice how much more magnetic you become.”

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    A flirtatious interaction.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Hogi inspires the crowd

    People seem quite taken with Hogi’s energy and charisma. Some of the comments expressed admiration for her vibe and flirtatious delivery on stage. Hogi was sharing her own version of flirting as a superpower:

    “Even this presentation feels like shes flirting…especially her laughs”

    “She is such a good public speaker, ten minutes of speech with no filler words whatsoever”

    “Flirting is a way making one feel seen and acknowledged.”

    “Where were you, Francesca, when I needed these words? Like, 40 years ago? Never too late, right?”

    “Had me clapping in the end! She’z good”

    “I feel better about my flirting abilities after watching this now.”

    “She’s good , reading her body language generally teaches me more about flirting than learning it itself”

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    A vintage photo of a couple flirting.
    Photo credit: Canva

    The power behind a flirtatious connection

    Flirting can have a powerful effect on both the initiator and the person on the receiving end. It isn’t necessarily about romance or sex. It helps build and strengthen relationships in everyday life.

    A 2025 study on ResearchGate analyzed where and how people flirt. The results suggested that people who flirt can improve with practice. The best flirting involved humor, confidence, and social skills. A 2026 study on ScienceDirect found that flirting can be an effective way for people to express their personality and individual differences. While personality traits and sex were linked to how often and how skillfully people flirted, these influences had only modest effects on overall outcomes.

    Hogi suggests flirting requires nuance and a little bit of courage. Practice prepares you for any occasion. “Attentiveness, compliments, playfulness—there’s nothing complicated about these actions, yet they have the potential to spark and sustain connection over time,” she says. “That’s a true superpower we can all tap into.”

    Hogi and the research suggest flirting isn’t just a trivial social game. It’s a meaningful way to express personality, build connections, and boost self-confidence. Flirting isn’t shallow. It doesn’t need to involve manipulation or outcome-obsessed action. These small everyday acts of courage embolden human connection and reveal individual superpowers in all of us.

  • Retired U.S. Navy chief explains how to end discipline anxiety with wholesome ‘butler’ trick
    (LEFT) A cluttered closet. (RIGHT) Chase Hughes.Photo credit: Canva and YouTube

    During an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, retired U.S. Navy chief Chase Hughes explained how to end discipline anxiety. Using a simple perspective shift, often referred to as the “butler” trick, he describes a method of “prioritizing the needs of our future self.”

    Hughes shares that understanding discipline is one of the fastest ways to change everything in our lives. We might wish discipline would arrive like a lightning bolt of motivation. However, Hughes suggests the solution lies in our relationship with discipline and the perspective we take on it, which ultimately relieves our anxiety.

    End discipline anxiety

    Hughes begins by explaining the importance of understanding what discipline actually is: “I define discipline as your ability to prioritize the needs of your future self ahead of your present self.” He goes on to explain that a simple reframing can change the link between discipline and anxiety.

    “If I can start looking backwards with gratitude, [it] is the fastest way to make discipline dopamine-generating,” Hughes says. “I want past-tense me to be a source of dopamine for present-tense me. Cause most of us look back with regret. ‘I shouldn’t have drank that much. I shouldn’t have mouthed off at the family reunion. You know whatever it is, I shouldn’t have overslept.’”

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    A butler ready to be of service.
    Photo credit: Canva

    The butler trick for discipline

    Instead, it’s possible to prioritize long-term endeavors over short-term desires. In the full YouTube video of the interview, Hughes describes the butler trick as a way of treating your future self as someone you can serve today, just like a butler. The concept of looking forward with concerned awareness and backward with gratitude can help release the connection between anxiety and discipline. This reframing and release of negativity help people better motivate themselves and manage their present circumstances.

    A 2025 study in SAGE Journals found that future self-orientation directly impacts discipline-related outcomes. This trick can lead to meaningful behavior change. By reframing our relationship with the past, we directly affect our relationship with discipline and procrastination. A 2023 study published by Springer Nature found that procrastination and self-control significantly influence attitudes toward time. How someone relates to time ultimately shapes whether discipline feels easy or overwhelming.

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    A woman realizes she is late.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Thoughts on the butler trick

    Viewers seemed universally impressed by the solution Hughes offers in the butler trick for discipline. Here are some of their thoughts:

    “I love it when Past Me has done something great to support Future Me. Sometimes it’s all I got, but it’s enough.”

    “This is the best advice on discipline I’ve ever heard in my life”

    “He’s giving you the blueprint for ultimate self care”

    “Be methodically organized and make your life less complicated and more suitable to your needs.”

    “I’ve heard everything can be looked at as a learning opportunity. Selfless gratitude + learning seems like a strong combo.”

    “Be my own butler. Love this!”

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    Self-discipline is defined as controlling one’s own desires.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Discipline changes everything

    Hughes underscores the value discipline has in changing our lives:

    “Discipline is kind of the gateway drug to everything else in authority, and it’s the gateway to composure. But getting your discipline modified is one of the fastest ways to make everything else change.”

    Discipline can mistakenly be associated with punishment and rigid routine management. With Hughes’ framing, it might be better described as stewardship. Instead of battling the present, you can serve the future. The butler trick can help us all be more thoughtful toward the person we are becoming.

    You can watch the full interview with Chase Hughes on The Diary of a CEO podcast below:

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