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D.A.R.E. Falls for Ridiculous Fake Story on the Dangers of Pot

According to a piece recently posted on the anti-drug site, “Children are being addicted to marijuana.”

In this world of legal marijuana and clinical ketamine tests, somehow D.A.R.E., that cheesy 80s anti-drug program, still exists. Their main schtick was bringing creepy cops into schools to scare children, getting kids used to the presence of the empire’s stormtroopers at a young age to reduce the chance of adult resistance. Recently, the organization’s obsolescence and antiquated drug war mentality was put on full display, when they posted a ludicrous, satirical anti-marijuana news story on their site as truth.

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Last week on the day they killed the satirists in Paris, I wake up, feed frantically meowing animals (with my habitual cat-curse of “inhuman beasts!”), and grab my coffee like any other morning, with no idea what’s already happened across the Atlantic. I’m still only half-awake as I pull up my Facebook page, but almost as soon I open the computer I get a desperately worded private message, from an old college friend who is now an ultra-progressive rabbi, urging courage and asking what The Onion is doing in response to what happened in Paris.

Not knowing what he’s talking about, I quickly Google-search the word “Paris” and instantly see the headline: “At Least 12 Dead, More Injured, In Gunmen Attack on Satirical Weekly In Paris.”

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The Real Loser of The Interview Debacle Was You

One comedy writer on a week in which funny business became serious business

When the news began breaking that Sony was being threatened by North Korean hackers over its Seth-Rogen-and-James-Franco-starring, North-Korean-leader-assassinating comedy The Interview, I had one thought: “This is James Franco’s best performance art piece yet.”

And then the seemingly unthinkable happened: Sony actually pulled the film from theaters. To a movie studio, that’s a full-on financial surrender. The impact was immediate, and widely reported on. Sony would lose tens of millions. Filmgoers would miss a highly anticipated comedy with two huge stars. And the U.S. was suddenly finding itself “negotiating with terrorists” in arguably the weirdest way in its history.

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Feast Your Eyes: Meet Colin, Portlandia's Most Pampered Chicken

A clip from the first episode of IFC's new show, Portlandia, gently skewers the city's farm-to-table obsession.

For those too hip to own a TV or too busy with Adult Hide & Seek League on Friday night, here's a clip from the first episode of Portlandia, the new IFC show that pokes fun at the manifold artisanal, locavore, and alternative delights of Portland, Oregon. In this excerpt from the first episode, a couple quiz their waitress as to their chicken's diet (sheep's milk and locally grown hazelnuts), first name, and social life, before heading out to check with their own eyes that the farmer is "not one of those guys sitting on a yacht in Miami, cashing in on the organic trend."

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