Back when she was 23, Tiffany Gaines tried to buy condoms over the counter at a convenience store in New York City. She distinctly remembers how uncomfortable she felt. “It was this awkward and shameful experience, and I felt humiliated,” as the clerk used an eight-foot orange claw to pick up the condoms in front of a group of men buying beer on a Saturday night.

It was 2012, and at the time, she was a graduate student in design for social innovation at the School of Visual Arts. Gaines saw an opportunity to take what could feel like a distressing experience and turn it into making purchasing condoms empowering and fun.


In 2014, Lovability Inc. was born, and Gaines found herself running and operating a company aimed at promoting feminism through every condom purchase. But she never could have predicted the current state of affairs, with reproductive rights at risk and employers no longer covering birth control pills. As the Trump administration continually undermines women, people are taking their sexual health into their own hands more than ever before. And that puts women-owned condom companies in a rather enviable position.

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]The name Trojan, it’s extremely aggressive. It’s the story of the Trojan horse sneaking its way into an impenetrable city and ravaging it.[/quote]

Gaines is one of many women bringing a different perspective to the condom industry. Talia Frenkel founded L. Condoms (which partners with organizations in Sub-Saharan Africa) in 2011 after working as a photojournalist for Red Cross and United Nations. It was during her time chronicling the AIDS and HIV crisis affecting young girls that she saw an opportunity to make a difference. “I hadn’t realized that 90% of countries in Sub-Saharan Africa go through condom stock-outs and this was really undermining the efforts of organizations on the ground working to promote awareness and usage of condoms,” she says. “There was a lot of talk about girls being our greatest impact resource and future agents of change in development, but at the end of the day, it was easier to raise funds for business micro-loans and more difficult to talk about those same girls becoming sexually active.”

Then, in 2014, Meika Hollender teamed up with her father, the co-founder of Seventh Generation, and established Sustain, a non-GMO condom company. It was the lack of eco-friendly condoms “that sort of drove us in a certain direction when we started Sustain,” Hollender says. “Coming from the background of Seventh Generation, we thought it was crazy that when it came to the most intimate parts of our bodies and what went inside women’s vaginas, there weren’t many natural options. So we saw a huge opportunity there.”

With over 450 million condoms sold in the United States alone each year, there certainly does appear to be a market, particularly with women. But two companies currently dominate the condom space in the U.S.: Trojan, which makes up 69% of condoms purchased, and Durex, which sells 15%. The other 16% is made of smaller companies like Lovability, Sustain, and L.

Statistically, women are less likely to carry condoms or even use them. The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found heterosexual men consistently use condoms at a higher rate than straight women when it comes to vaginal intercourse.

While compiling research when starting Sustain, Hollender found that 40% of condoms are purchased by women; however, Hollender also learned “that only 21% of single sexually active women use condoms regularly; 48% of pregnancies are unplanned; and 1 in 4 college freshmen contract an STI in college during her first year of school. These statistics mixed with the reality that I knew about how women feel buying condoms sort of triggered this idea and journey of building Sustain to help break the stigma of buying and carrying condoms and helping empower women to feel good about making a responsible choice.”

Why are women reluctant to buy or use condoms? Frenkel described Trojan’s hypermasculinity in their products as one example, “The name Trojan, it’s extremely aggressive. It’s the story of the Trojan horse sneaking its way into an impenetrable city and ravaging it.” Gaines added, “So many condoms are associated with hypersexuality, dominance, and masculinity, so what we’re doing [as companies] is taking condoms out of that context and redefining them as a symbol of self-love.”

And women-owned condom companies seem to be targeting women successfully. Richelle Schilling, 30, started carrying condoms consistently in the last year and has purchased her condoms through Lovability’s website. Despite taking control of her sexual health, she is aware of the stigma attached to a woman carrying her own condoms. “It seems to be viewed that if a woman is carrying a condom, she is easy to get into bed.”

Now that she has an option to support a woman-owned company with women in mind, Schilling feels more comfortable purchasing condoms. “When purchasing from a condom company that is marketed toward women, it is a reminder that women are taking control of their [sexual] lives. With the stigmas out there, it’s a reminder that other women are staying protected, enjoying their sex lives, and supporting other women,” she says.

Ariel Stallings, a publisher and author, found herself in a strange position after divorcing her husband of 18 years. When she started dating again, the thought of buying condoms felt strange and elusive. “I don’t feel a sense of shame for carrying them though,” she says, but “the idea of carrying a condom in cute packaging is appealing to me because I’m a sucker for cute packaging.”

Outside of the cute factor, however, Stallings believes there’s a benefit in creating condoms that directly focus on women. “I like to think of harm reduction. While it’s ideal for women to not feel shame for having a condom fall out of their bag because it shouldn’t be a big deal, these products are good to have available to them since we’re not in an age yet where women don’t feel shame.”

The packaging for Lovability, Sustain, and L. all have different aesthetics. Lovability’s condoms are playful and fun, coming in tin cans with sayings written on them like, “Talk Feminist to Me” or “Babe with the Power.” Lovability started the theme of the company centered around discretion and being able to hide the fact one was carrying condoms. “Now it’s much more about being proud about being a person that takes responsibility of your sexual health,” Gaines says, adding, “condoms are a very bold statement of believing in gender equality because, if you have a condom, all of a sudden you are decreasing the amount of risk from it being totally on the man to carry a condom.”

Sustain also recently rebranded itself, moving away from being too discreet. “Initially, we didn’t think about the fact that as a brand we should be really straightforward because we are bold and we aren’t trying to hide who we are. If you make it too discreet, you’re kind of buying into that idea that you should not feel comfortable that someone sees you buying condoms,” Hollender says.

Frenkel always had a sleek design in mind for her brand. “I’ll get invited to speak at this women’s event in Silicon Valley, and all I’ll see is pink and purple and stuff that’s super flowery,” she says. “I think that it’s funny because I think women are drawn to things that are clean and modern, and that’s why we went for a black and white box.”

For Olivia Gunther, a sexuality researcher at the University of Michigan, marketing condoms specifically toward women will only further stigmatize women carrying and buying condoms.

Gunther pointed to Trojan’s latest XOXO condom, which is made to look discreet and feminine. “Condom companies that do target women need to be careful with how they market their gender-defined packaging. [For example,] the XOXO box looks very feminine and is clearly supposed to comfort the typical woman who wants to purchase safer sex products. It tries to normalize the product for her by assuming that it will appeal to her feminine interests and style.” According to Gunther, this is problematic because it assumes that women do not own their sexualities in public, or in general.

“Marketing towards women needs to align itself mores with including them in the conversation about sexual health and the importance of using barrier methods when engaging in sexual activity, instead of shaming them into buying condom boxes that don’t even look like condom boxes,” Gunther says.

At Gunther’s university, she has observed a shift since the election. “I’ve noticed an uptick in my friends and other students at my university purchasing condoms more frequently. With the risk that hormonal contraceptives may not be covered or harder to access in the future, it’s imperative that women who aren’t planning on becoming pregnant in the next few years consider what their options may be.”

For Lovability, Sustain, and L., their aim is to not only help women take charge of their sexual health, but also promote philanthropic causes that support women’s rights that feel under siege. Which is another reason women are attracted to them over other more mainstream brands.

Sustain gives 10% of its proceeds to women’s health care organizations, which has resonated with more of their customers since the election. “Before the election, we received negative feedback on where people would say ‘I love your brand, but can’t support your because [Sustain] supports Planned Parenthood,’” Hollender says. “But since November, we haven’t received one of those emails.”

With every purchase of an L. condom, one is donated to a female entrepreneur in a developing country. “When I started this I wanted to make sure our condoms didn’t sit in a warehouse when we donated them and that we took a more holistic approach. These nonprofit program officers are able to pinpoint women in high impact areas, such as unplanned pregnancies or high HIV contraction rates and work with them and train them,” Frenkel says. “Then they go door to door and sell it at low market costs. That makes it a lot more likely that the product will be used. There have been reports that if you sell a mosquito net for pennies, it’s much more likely to be used than if you give it for free. You can also see that with condoms.”

[quote position=”full” is_quote=”true”]I’ll get invited to speak at this women’s event in Silicon Valley, and all I’ll see is pink and purple and stuff that’s super flowery. I think that it’s funny because I think women are drawn to things that are clean and modern.[/quote]

Lovability donates a condom to Planned Parenthood with every purchase and also employs physically and mentally disabled people from ARC San Diego to assemble their condom tins. Meanwhile, L. Condoms is putting fewer chemicals in the condoms themselves. “The World Health Organization does not recommend spermicide in condoms,” Frenkel says.

Research does appear to be leaning in this direction. Dr. Ann Duerr, HIV chief in the reproductive health division at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention told ABC News, “For sexually transmitted disease prevention, our recommendation has been to use condoms with or without nonoxynol-9. Now it’s clear that N-9 does not add protection and may be harmful.” For Frenkel, this is troublesome. “The fact that there are condoms sold with spermicide still on shelves is pretty alarming.”

Each of these companies’ condoms are free of chemical irritants, dyes, fragrances, and spermicides. As a result, the women using these condoms are experiencing less discomfort. “A lot of these chemicals are on the shelf-condom brands … that can really irritate the vaginal wall. So I think it’s not only empowering to have condoms made with women in mind, but to have control of what’s going inside your body,” Gaines says.

“We get really positive feedback from women because they’re the ones most affected by chemicals in condoms,” Hollender says. As of now, 70% of the condom purchases from Sustain are made by women.

The FDA does not require condom companies to list their ingredients, which can be nerve-racking for those who are particularly sensitive to certain chemicals or ingredients. “There’s really no way for consumers to know what’s in their products other than the companies themselves electing to tell all the ingredients,” Hollender says, adding that Sustain lists all their ingredients online and on the box. She hopes this encourages consumers to demand other companies to also have a level of transparency.

“If you look at all the messages we receive about sex, generally most of this information started in a room of men discussing how things should be taught and it’s told from their worldview,” says Gaines. “And I think there’s an opportunity for women to really rewrite the script around what it means to practice safe [sex] and what it means to be sexually healthy and have sexual wellness.”

Women may not have overthrown the major condom brands just yet, let alone the political and cultural systems that deem their sexual health a low priority. But as they start making big money in an industry that’s long been the domain of men, tucking a condom into one’s purse feels less like a backup option and more of a radical act.

  • Licensed therapist shares 6 signs you’re doing a lot better than you think you are
    Photo credit: CanvaA woman in quiet contemplation.

    For many people, it’s easy to overlook progress because it often lacks clear milestones. There can be increased anxiety and stress from feeling like they’re still catching up or even falling farther behind.

    In a recent Instagram post, licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer points out six signs that people are doing better than they think. He breaks down a pattern of achievements that tend to be easily missed. How individuals interpret their past, how they presently handle their relationships, and even asking simple questions, reveal a very different story about where they’re at in their lives and where they’re going.

    Surviving the unsurvivable

    Meltzer begins, “You’ve survived everything that once felt unsurvivable. Every hard season, every moment you thought you wouldn’t get through. You did. That is no small feat. Your brain forgets those victories the moment they pass, but they still count.”

    Learning how to cope with life isn’t just about “toughness.” Resilience is a measurable, multi-layered process tied to effective coping strategies. A 2025 study in Psychology Today points out that rising above adversity isn’t the simple solution. Having support systems that function well enough means you don’t have to.

    Becoming what we desperately want

    “You’ve changed in ways you once desperately wanted. Think back to who you were three or five years ago. Some of the growth you desperately wanted back then, you’re living it now.” Meltzer adds, “However, your brain likes to move the goal post without telling you.”

    People constantly face an adjustment to satisfaction because expectations rise over time. A 2024 study in Springer Nature Link explored the hedonic treadmill. Even after massive achievements, the boost of happiness doesn’t last as long as people expect.

    personal preference, dislikes, self-awareness, secure attachment
    She doesn’t like it.
    Photo credit Canva

    Knowing what we don’t like

    “You know what you don’t want.” Meltzer continues, “That might sound like a consolation prize, but it’s actually hard-earned clarity. A lot of people waste years chasing the wrong things. But knowing what drains you, what doesn’t serve you, what you won’t settle for anymore, that’s actual progress.”

    Psychology emphasizes that self-awareness leads to better behavior and stronger emotional regulation. A 2023 review in the Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior found that this process brings a clearer sense of who we are and who we are becoming.

    An easy relationship to navigate

    “You have at least one relationship that feels easy. You’re at least one person that doesn’t require a performance from you. Someone who you can be a little bit of a mess around. You don’t need to be perfect around them, and it feels easy.” Meltzer explains the value, saying, “That kind of connection is rarer than people like to admit.”

    Strong interpersonal relationships are key predictors of mental health and well-being. A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine found that secure attachment helps people experience fewer of the symptoms associated with anxiety and depression. Even one stable, supportive relationship is linked to long-term well-being.

    neuroplasticity, achievement, growth mindset, motivation
    Feelings of achievement.
    Photo credit Canva

    Learning something new

    “You’ve learned something in the last year.” Meltzer explains, “Whether it’s a skill, a perspective, a hard lesson, all of it counts. Remember, a brain that’s still learning is a brain that’s still growing.”

    The human brain remains capable of learning and adapting throughout a person’s life. A 2025 study published in MDPI found that brain neuroplasticity allows traits such as emotional regulation and awareness to be reorganized and improved over time.

    Asking better questions

    Lastly, Meltzer offers, “You’re asking the right questions. The fact that you’re reflecting and trying to see your life more clearly, that’s a sign of someone who hasn’t given up.”

    Believing that change is possible shapes emotional recovery and motivation. A 2025 study in Springer Nature Link showed that a growth mindset leads to better psychological outcomes and improves a person’s ability to adapt to new situations.

    appreciation, gratitude, reflection, mental health
    A woman enjoys the sunlight on her face.
    Photo credit Canva

    People are doing better than they think

    These six signs shared by Meltzer helped viewers understand that they’re doing better than they think. As people flooded the comment section, some seemed to struggle with #4, having that one reliable friend. Still, most were just appreciative.

    “This made me feel so much better”

    “i don’t have number 4 unless my dog counts”

    “all I need now is the 4th one, I’m working towards it by socializing more it’s challenging but I’m learning”

    “I’m winning despite feeling defeated”

    “I needed this right now.”

    “Does Mom count for #4?”

    “I’ll give myself credit, it been rough recently, 5 out of 6 is better than I expected”

    “This made me remember how far I have become even tho I still work on things, it’s so good to get these reminders this genuinely made my day”

    Meltzer tries to help people reframe their perspectives. Often, things look like they’re “not enough” even though the actual evidence suggests otherwise. Psychology reveals growth is incremental and easy to miss. The fact that a person wants to do better is the clearest sign that personal growth is already underway.

  • Reclaiming water from contaminated brine can increase water supply and reduce environmental harm
    Photo credit: Dean Musgrove/MediaNews Group/Los Angeles Daily News via Getty Images The Hyperion Water Reclamation Plant in Los Angeles handles a massive amount of sewage and wastewater.

    The world is looking for more clean water. Intense storms and warmer weather have worsened droughts and reduced the amount of clean water underground and in rivers and lakes on the surface.

    Under pressure to provide water for drinking and irrigation, people around the globe are trying to figure out how to save, conserve and reuse water in a variety of ways, including reusing treated sewage wastewater and removing valuable salts from seawater.

    But for all the clean water they may produce, those processes, as well as water-intensive industries like mining, manufacturing and energy production, inevitably leave behind a type of liquid called brine: water that contains high concentrations of salt, metals and other contaminants. I’m working on getting the water out of that potential source, too.

    The most recent available assessment of global brine production found that it is 25.2 billion gallons a day, enough to fill nearly 60,000 Olympic-sized swimming pools each day. That’s about one-twelfth of daily household water use in the U.S. However, that brine estimate is from 2019; in the years since, brine production is estimated to have increased due to the continued expansion of desalination plants.

    That’s a lot of water, if it could be cleaned and made usable.

    How is brine disposed?

    Today, most brine produced along the coastline is released into the ocean. Inland cities without this option typically leave brine in ponds to evaporate, blend it with other wastewater, or inject it into deep wells for disposal.

    However, most of these methods require strict environmental protections and monitoring strategies to reduce harm to the environment.

    For instance, the extremely high salt content in brine from desalination plants can kill fish or drive them away, as has happened increasingly since the 1980s off the coast of Bahrain.

    Evaporation ponds require specialized liners to prevent the brine from leaching into the ground and polluting groundwater. And when all the water has evaporated, the remaining solids must be promptly removed to prevent them from blowing away as dust in the wind. This happens in nature, too: As the Great Salt Lake in Utah dries up, salty windblown dust has already contributed to significant air pollution, as recorded by the Utah Division of Air Quality.

    Brine injected into the earth in Oklahoma, including into wells used for hydraulic fracking of oil and natural gas, was one of several factors that led to a 40-fold increase in earthquake activity in the five-year period from 2008 to 2013, as compared to the preceding 31 years. And wastewater has been documented to leak from the underground wells up to the surface as well.

    A short video clip shows dust blowing over an area.
    Plumes of dust rise from the bed of the Great Salt Lake in Utah in January 2025. Utah Division of Air Quality

    Emerging treatment technologies

    Researchers like me are increasingly exploring brine’s potential not as waste but as a source of water – and of valuable materials, such as sodium, lithium, magnesium and calcium.

    Currently, the most effective brine reclamation methods use heat and pressure to boil the water out of brine, capturing the water as vapor and leaving the metals and salts behind as solids. But those systems are expensive to build, energy-intensive to run and physically large.

    Other treatment methods come with unique trade-offs. Electrodialysis uses electricity to pull salt and charged particles out of water through special membranes, separating cleaner water from a more concentrated salty stream. This process works best when the water is already relatively clean, because dirt, oils and minerals can quickly clog or damage the membranes, reducing the performance of the equipment.

    Membrane distillation, in contrast, heats water so that only water vapor passes through a water-repelling membrane, leaving salts and other contaminants behind. While effective in principle, this approach can be slow, energy-intensive and expensive, limiting its use at larger scale.

    A trailer containing a small water reclamation system.
    A trailer containing a small water reclamation system. Mervin XuYang Lim, CC BY-SA

    A look at smaller, decentralized systems

    Smaller systems can be effective, with lower initial costs and quicker start-up processes.

    At the University of Arizona, I am leading the testing of a six-step brine reclamation system known as STREAM – for Separation, Treatment, Recovery via Electrochemistry and Membrane – to continuously reclaim municipal brine, which is salty water left over from sewage treatment.

    The system combines conventional methods such as ultrafiltration, which removes particles and microbes using fine filters, and reverse osmosis, which removes dissolved salts by forcing water through a dense membrane, alongside an electrolytic cell – a method not typically employed in water treatment.

    Our previous study showed that we can recover usable quantities of chemicals such as sodium hydroxide and hydrochloric acid at one-sixth the cost of purchasing them commercially. And our initial calculations indicated the integrated system can reclaim as much as 90% of the water, greatly reducing the volume of what remains to be disposed. The cleaned water in turn is suitable for drinking after final disinfection using ultraviolet or chlorine.

    We are currently building a larger pilot system in Tucson for further study by researchers. We hope to learn if we can use this system to reclaim other sources of brine and study its efficacy in eliminating viruses and bacteria for human consumption.

    We have partnered with other researchers from the University of Nevada Reno, the University of Southern California and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to help communities in the Southwest secure reliable water supplies by safely reusing municipal wastewater to serve everyday water use.

    This article originally appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

  • ‘Bouncing back’ is a myth – resilience means integrating hard experiences into your life story, not ignoring them
    Photo credit: Anastasiia Voloshko/Moment via Getty ImagesInto each life some rain must fall.

    When Maria looked at herself in the mirror for the first time after her mastectomy, she stood very still.

    One hand rested on the bathroom counter. The other hovered near the flat space where her breast had been. The scar was raw and angry. The loss was quiet but enormous. Her body felt foreign.

    In moments like these, people are often urged to be resilient – which can feel like being told to show no weakness, to push through no matter what. Or they imagine resilience as bouncing back: returning somehow unscathed to be the person you were before.

    But standing in that bathroom, Maria knew there was no going back. And toughness wouldn’t change what had happened. The real question was how she could move forward, carrying this experience into her new reality.

    Maria’s story, one I came to know personally, is far from unique. Loss, trauma and illness often bring the same wrenching questions of identity and the painful uncertainty of what comes next.

    I’ve spent more than two decades studying resilience, particularly among individuals and families navigating these kinds of life-changing events. I am also a four-time cancer survivor and author of a new book, “Falling Forward: The New Science of Resilience and Personal Transformation.” If there is one myth I wish society would retire, it’s the idea that resilience means “toughness” or “bouncing back.”

    woman wearing hat seated in wheelchair looks outside
    Resilience doesn’t rely on relentless positivity in the face of traumatic challenges. pocketlight/iStock via Getty Images Plus

    Rethinking resilience based on research

    Moments like Maria’s reveal something important: The way people tend to talk about resilience often doesn’t match how people actually live through adversity.

    In popular culture, resilience is often equated with grit, toughness or relentless positivity. People celebrate the warrior, the fighter, the triumphant survivor.

    But across research, clinical practice and lived experience, resilience is something far more nuanced, raw and human.

    It’s not a personality trait that some people simply have and others lack. Decades of research show resilience is a dynamic process. It’s shaped by the small, everyday decisions and adjustments individuals make as they adapt to significant adversity while maintaining, or gradually regaining, their psychological and physical footing over time.

    And importantly, resilience does not mean the absence of distress.

    Research on people facing serious life disruptions shows that distress and resilience often coexist. For example, in my study of adolescent and young adult cancer survivors, participants reported being upset about finances, body image and disrupted life plans, while simultaneously highlighting positive changes, such as strengthened relationships and a greater sense of purpose.

    Resilience, in other words, is not about erasing pain and suffering. It is about learning how to integrate difficult experiences into a life that continues forward.

    How resilience really works

    At one point, Maria told me she had started avoiding mirrors, intimacy, even conversations that made others uncomfortable.

    “Well, you’re strong,” people would tell her. “Just stay positive. This too shall pass.”

    But strength, she said, felt like a performance.

    What ultimately shifted for Maria was not an increase in toughness. It was permission to grieve.

    She began speaking openly about the loss of her breast; not just as a medical procedure but as a symbolic loss tied to identity, sexuality and womanhood. She joined a support group. She allowed herself to feel anger alongside gratitude for survival.

    This kind of emotional processing turns out to be central to resilience.

    My colleagues and I have found that people who actively process loss, rather than suppress it, demonstrate better long-term adjustment. Tamping down negative feelings may provide short-term relief, but over time it is associated with greater stress on your body and more difficulty adapting.

    In other words, resilience is not about sealing the wound and pretending it no longer aches. It is about learning how to carry the wound without letting it consume your entire story.

    Neuroscience supports this integration model. When people engage in meaning-making – reflecting on their experiences and incorporating them into a coherent life narrative – brain networks associated with emotional regulation and cognitive flexibility become more active. The brain, quite literally, reorganizes as you adapt to new realities.

    Maria described the change simply.

    “I don’t like what happened,” she told me. “But I’m not at war with my body anymore.”

    That is resilience.

    Arms in sweater with hand writing in a journal
    Acknowledging what’s been lost can be part of the process of resilience. Grace Cary/Moment via Getty Images

    Practices that help build resilience

    If resilience is about integration rather than toughness and bouncing back, how can you cultivate it? Research across psychology, neuroscience and chronic illness points to several evidence-based strategies:

    • Allow emotional complexity: Resilient people are not relentlessly positive. They allow space for the full range of emotions, such as gratitude and grief, hope and fear. Paying attention to your feelings through strategies such as reflective writing or psychotherapy have been linked to improved psychological adaptation.
    • Build a coherent narrative: Human beings are storytellers. Trauma can shatter one’s sense of self, but constructing a narrative that acknowledges loss while identifying continuity and growth supports adaptation. The goal is not to spin suffering into silver linings, but to situate it within a broader life story. For example, someone might say, “Cancer derailed my plans and changed my body, but it also clarified what matters to me and how I want to move forward.”
    • Lean into connection: Isolation magnifies suffering. Social support is one of the strongest predictors of how well people are able to cope and move forward after illness or trauma. For Maria, connection with other women who had had mastectomies normalized her experience and reduced shame.
    • Practice deliberate pauses: Intentionally give yourself some time to breathe. Mindfulness and contemplative solitude can strengthen your ability to regulate emotions and recover from stress. Pausing allows experience to be processed rather than avoided.
    • Expand identity: Illness, loss and trauma reshape how you think of yourself. Rather than clinging to who you were, resilience often involves expanding who you are becoming. Research on post-traumatic growth shows that people often report deeper relationships, clarified priorities and renewed purpose – not because trauma was good, but because it forced reevaluation. Maria no longer describes herself simply as a breast cancer patient. She is a survivor, yes, but also an advocate, a mentor, a woman whose sense of femininity is self-defined rather than dictated by her anatomy.

    Moving forward

    We are living in a time of widespread burnout and rising mental health challenges, where cultural pressure to appear strong often leaves people silently struggling. An insistence on grit and relentless optimism can backfire, making people feel inadequate when they inevitably feel pain.

    Resilience is not about returning to who you were before illness, loss or trauma. It is about becoming someone new: someone who carries the scar, remembers the loss and still chooses to engage with life.

    Maria still pauses when she sees her reflection. But she no longer turns away.

    “This is my body,” she told me recently. “This is my story.”

    Resilience is not forged in the denial of vulnerability, but in its acceptance. Not in bouncing back, but in integrating what has happened into who you are becoming.

    And that, I believe, is where real strength lives.

    This article originally appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

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