When I Realized I Can’t ‘Outsmart’ Mental Illness

“I can prepare for the storm, and I know it will soon pass”

Feb 17, 2017

February 17, 2017

It’s the overthinking that gets me. I’m a self-reflective and analytical person with self-imposed impossibly high standards to begin with. So when it comes to mental health, I tend to pressure myself to always be coping better, fighting better—even hiding my illness better. And I often fall into the trap of thinking I can ultimately learn to control my mental illnesses if I analyze it enough and pay close enough attention to its patterns and triggers.

But mental illness is something you can manage—not something you can control.

[quote position=”right” is_quote=”true”]Mental illness is something you can manage—not something you can control.[/quote]

By most standards, I have a pretty great life. I have amazing family and friends and a wonderful boyfriend. I go to a prestigious university in beautiful Southern California, where I am one year away from completing my undergraduate degree. I had the opportunity to spend last summer doing the most rewarding internship that fills my entire being with joy and purpose. I get to travel often, and I have the ability to explore many of my passions and interests. I don’t know what I did to deserve this life, but I am thankful for every moment of it.

I try to remind myself of this often: You have a great life! You have so much going for you! You have been blessed in so many ways! And yet, my body and mind don’t seem to understand. I am consumed by depression and anxiety—on a good day. On a not-so-good day, some Post-traumatic stress disorder or chronic fatigue might get thrown into the mix. On a really bad day, my autoimmune disease might flare up and cause me unbearable physical pain, on top of everything else.

The physical symptoms don’t bother me too much, as they usually aren’t debilitating enough to interrupt my daily routine. I’m the type of person who pretty much always has something wrong with them (my friends and family can attest to this), so at this point, unless a major issue arises, physical pain and discomfort are like white noise to me. They may suck, but I’ve always liked the fact that I can adopt an attitude of “mind over matter.” As long as I’ve got my mind and spirit, I can grit my teeth and deal with the pain until the issue runs its course. If I rest and take care of myself, I know my body will heal soon enough.

It’s the mental illnesses that give me the most trouble. It’s tough to put “mind over matter” when the matter is in your mind. I’ve had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I was having panic attacks as early as elementary school, and I think I was probably born with depression. It’s been with me forever—an old friend who constantly tempts me back into its dark, comfortable, and numbing embrace. It promises me a quick fix for complicated problems and offers me an escape from the harshness of reality. It’s deceptively dangerous, and it’s taken me a lifetime to gather the strength to turn my back on my oldest and most addicting friend.

After I realized I had depression back in high school, I was able to begin the long process of learning about this mental illness—getting to know it, identifying what triggered it, and trying out methods of coping to see what helped. For about six or seven years, I have been keeping a close eye on my depression: constantly monitoring it, studying it, and learning its patterns so I can ultimately defeat it. And I’ve come a long way since high school. I am now strong enough to (usually) resist depression’s tempting comfort and erasure of pain, and smart enough to avoid situations or people I know might trigger it. However, as a 20-year-old in college, this is probably one of the most turbulent periods of my life. Almost nothing is stable, and every few months my entire schedule, routine, and concept of “normal” changes. I’ve come to accept these constant changes, and I expect them to throw me off my game for a while. I know it will take some time for me to re-adjust and figure out new methods of coping, new ways to manage. These periods of depression are tough, but anticipated. Just as my body naturally heals itself when hurt, my mind naturally re-calibrates. I can prepare for the storm, and I know it will soon pass.

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]Instead of reacting to mental illness with self-loathing, I should react the same way I do to physical illness: with patience.[/quote]

But then there are the times when my life is relatively stable and I have an established routine and coping mechanisms, yet depression attacks in new and unexpected ways. And it just doesn’t make sense. My life may be going really well. I may be doing everything right. But depression still finds a way to sneak in.

When this happens, it’s devastating. I work so hard every single day to fight it off. When I can’t recall any triggers or situations that would cause an onslaught of depression to make sense, I become frustrated. After six or seven years of carefully observing and analyzing, I sometimes think I have it all figured out. I think I can outsmart the depression. But the humbling truth is I’m not smarter than my depression. I never will be. I can psychoanalyze myself to death, but I can’t use sheer smarts and willpower to defeat this illness. You can’t think your way out of cancer or an autoimmune disease, and mental illness is no different. It’s time I stop getting angry at myself and at my body and thinking, ‘What? How could this have happened? It makes no sense!’ Of course it makes no sense. Illness follows no rules. It doesn’t give a shit about what’s going on in your life. It will attack at random, without warning. Sure, there are ways people can learn to manage or minimize symptoms, but thinking it’s possible to control or entirely prevent them is foolish.

When my physical health declines, I stay home from work, curl up in bed, watch TV, and allow my body to rest and heal. I don’t get angry. I don’t blame myself. I don’t feel guilty about devoting all my energy to practicing self-care. Why can’t I treat myself with the same love and compassion when depression strikes?

Instead of getting angry and shaking my fists at the sky; instead of wondering how I could have screwed up so bad and missed the warning signs (which may not have even been there); instead of berating myself for being so stupid, instead of analyzing every moment of my life over and over again until my brain feels like it’s about to explode …

Instead of reacting to mental illness with shame and self-loathing, maybe I should start reacting the same way I do to physical illness: with patience and love.

It’s not your fault.
This is out of your control.
You are smart and strong and capable.
Take care of yourself.
Give yourself time to heal.
Breathe.
Shh.
Everything will be OK.

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Photo credit: Canva – Putting on an alter ego can help boost confidence.

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Psychologists say the best trick for building confidence is to create a superhero-like alter ego

Not confident? Make a persona that is.

Erik Barnes

6/24/2026

Whether it’s giving a presentation at work or mustering up the courage to ask someone out on a date, many people struggle with confidence. People worry about being liked or whether they can pull off certain feats. They wish they could be someone else who has the confidence they lack. Well, according to some psychologists, you can.

Psychologists have found that people can develop an alter ego to help boost confidence and achieve desired results.

Give yourself comic book-level confidence

“One of the least appreciated realities about confidence is that very few people develop confidence based upon how they feel before acting,” Kat Grassetti, clinical director and co-founder at Monima Wellness Center, told GOOD. “The value in an alter ego lies within giving the individual permission to leap to act before their confidence has caught up.”

This isn’t unlike modern comic book superheroes like Spider-Man. Whether in the comics, films, or television shows, Peter Parker is riddled with anxiety and struggles with confidence and self-esteem. However, when he becomes his alter ego, Spider-Man, he is outgoing and quippy. As the story progresses, Parker slowly becomes just as personable, confident, and competent as his web-slinging alter ego.

There’s science to back this up, but with different superhero labeling. Child psychologist Rachel E. White’s study of children’s perseverance and confidence found what researchers dubbed “The Batman Effect.” The study showed that children who adopted an alter ego or character, like Batman, stuck with a boring task longer than those who thought in the first or third person. White also got similar results when asking children to concentrate on a complex card game. She found that portraying a character with greater concentration improved their executive function.

You’re still you, and that’s a good thing

Having an alter ego can create self-distance and provide an outsider’s perspective on a situation or task. After all, “you” aren’t preparing for the big speech or tackling a problem; your alter ego is. But it’s important to note that, in the end, your alter ego is still you.

“The alter ego does not create a new personality; rather, it allows an individual to tap into their existing strength, which often remains hidden from them due to anxiety, self-doubt, or fear of being judged,” said Grassetti.

Putting on an alter ego has helped many celebrities when they felt their confidence dwindle or when trying something new. Beyoncé adopted her “Sasha Fierce” persona to rid herself of nerves before going onstage. Before hosting The Late Show as his true self, Stephen Colbert donned an alter ego as an over-the-top staunch conservative. This allowed him to showcase his satirical skills and confidently challenge the powerful. Over time, though, these people let those personas go after their true selves were ready to do the heavy lifting.

You are still responsible

Alter egos can only do so much for so long, though. For example, rapper Eminem (Marshall Mathers) has shared that he created his “Slim Shady” persona. It helped instill confidence and creative freedom without concern about blowback. While the alter ego is credited with helping fuel his initial success, Mathers also blamed the persona for causing strife in an interview with an AI version of “Slim Shady.”

That’s the thing Grassetti and other psychologists note: The alter ego is just a tool to help build confidence, not a crutch.

“When the gap between the alter ego and the true self closes as quickly as possible, then the confidence will be sustained,” said Grassetti. “However, if an individual relies heavily on a secondary persona for confidence, this type of confidence can also be conditional (or fragile), and therefore much harder to sustain.”

So if you struggle with confidence, it may be worth thinking about developing an alter ego that has the qualities you’re looking for. However, it’s important to realize that, in the end, the alter ego’s actions, thoughts, confidence, and other attributes are actually your own. You are responsible for your alter ego and what it does, for better or worse.

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Photo credit: Canva – Stickers can be beneficial for adults as well as kids.

Health, Well-being

5 ways how stickers psychologically boost the lives of grown adults

Stickers can do more than look fun and cool.

Erik Barnes

6/22/2026

We tend to associate stickers with childhood. As kids, we put them all over our rooms, furniture, books and notebooks, and wherever else our little hands could stick them. Yet, you have probably seen stickers being used and loved by adults as much, if not more, than kids. They can be found on water bottles, laptops, car bumpers, journals, and many other surfaces. You may even know an adult who uses a sticker chart like an elementary school kid does to keep track of their daily tasks. So, what gives?

Why do adults love stickers? It turns out that there is psychology behind why many adults still love to stick stickers everywhere. Psychology professionals have reached out to GOOD to share some of the reasons why adult brains benefit from having and using stickers.

Accountability awards

Much like with children, many adults turn to stickers as an easy way to stay motivated to commit to a task or achieve a goal. While youngsters turn to sticker charts for reading goals or eating vegetables, adults can use them to motivate themselves to hit the gym or keep up with their budget. It may sound like an innocuous award, but that’s all it needs to be.

“Small simple tokens or rewards like stickers often cause an instant dopamine rush that leaves us feeling a sense of joy or happiness even if it might be small or fleeting,” said psychology professor and licensed therapist Jillian Amodio.

“In my work as a psychologist, I often encourage clients to use sticker charts, simple grids where you put stickers up when you complete a task,” said registered psychologist Rod Mitchell. “I’ve had many clients who tried positive self-talk, only to find it slid off. Stickers worked for them.”

It may sound immature on the surface, but what worked to establish good behaviors or habits as a kid can sometimes be just as effective for a grown-up.

“I had one client who was very resistant to the idea, viewing it as childish,” Mitchell added. “He came back the following week and sheepishly told me that the sticker chart had worked like a charm.”

Progress markers

“In addition to creating a sense of accomplishment, seeing a sticker placed on a calendar, chart, or planner after achieving a goal can create a visual history of success,” said Dr. Lori Bohn, medical director at Voyager Recovery Center. “This history can motivate an individual to continue to work towards additional goals.”

So the benefit of sticker charts isn’t just the dopamine rush, but encouragement. A person can look back at the progress they made, and any “failure” they see becomes an anomaly. It’s why many folks have created sticker charts for things as basic as eating healthy foods to more complex struggles like sobriety.

“The stickers on the chart serve as small badges of who you are and what you did,” said Mitchell. “A client I had who was struggling to make time for his kids now looks back on a chart full of stickers and knows that he’s become the family man he wanted to be.”

An easy form of expression

Placing a sticker on a laptop or water bottle you use daily also allows us to express ourselves. That expression can be as insightful as a political message or as simple as “I like SpongeBob.” It can communicate to others what you’re all about without even speaking a word.

“Stickers appeal to adults because they often offer an opportunity for self expression and trigger a sense of nostalgia,” said Amodio. “They can also serve social purposes when they speak to people who share similar interests, values, or devotion to a cause.”

The same logic applies to why many people use digital stickers and emojis when texting or posting on social media.

Psychologically instill civic duty

So how powerful are stickers? According to extensive research, very. One sticker standout is they get people to the polls. The “I Voted” sticker folks receive after they vote is a great motivator. They allow folks to feel that dopamine hit after voting, while advertising to others to vote. Stickers can be a reward for voters, a reminder to those who plan on submitting their ballot, or provide FOMO (fear of missing out) to those who don’t vote.

“It tells other individuals what the person did (voted), what the person values (voting), and what type of individual they perceive themselves to be (a voter),” said Dr. Bohn. “Social psychologists have shown that people are heavily influenced by social norms. In many cases, people rely on other people to help them understand if their behavior is acceptable or not.”

It may feel like mental manipulation to get people to vote (because it is) but it’s important to note that the sticker doesn’t endorse any particular bill or candidate. It just endorses participation.

Affordable artwork

“Stickers are also visually appealing which creates a pleasurable response in the brain as well,” said Amodio.

Stickers are used by adults because they like how they look. They’re an inexpensive and convenient form of artwork to display. They can easily be put in a book, on a wall, or most other surfaces. They don’t take too much space and are cheaper than paintings, sculptures, and other artwork.

Many independent artists have turned their work into stickers. It’s a way to keep making a living while also making it affordable for people to purchase their art. Sticker art also benefits the brains of the artists and their supporters alike. It’s just like any other art piece you can display.

There are many valid and beneficial reasons why grown adults happily use stickers. The act as a boost, a motivator, and a way to express yourself in one. If you’re already a fan, keep on stickin’.

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Student with severe facial burns from a frat house fire healed through new innovative treatment

Exosomes could change how we treat various maladies and disease.

Erik Barnes

6/22/2026

A university student who suffered severe facial burns has remarkably healed thanks to what is being called a world-first biological treatment.

On December 2, 2025, 18-year-old Kaitlyn Jeffrey was caught in a fire at the Pi Kappa Alpha frat house at Western University in Canada. The fire was caused after rubbing alcohol had been thrown onto a lit torch. Kaitlyn was one of the five people rushed to the hospital for injuries. She suffered serious burns after her face and hair had been set ablaze.

A new treatment

Usually, treatment for such burns would require a skin graft, but the burn unit at Hamilton Health Services wanted to try something different. While skin grafting is helpful, the end result isn’t always ideal. Skin grafting can be a slow process that ends with scarring and often a patch-like appearance on the patient.

“My vision for Kaitlin was to avoid skin graft surgery to her face and neck at any cost,” said Dr. Marc Jeschke, medical director of the hospital’s regional burn program and vice-president of research and innovation at HHS. “You can do the best graft on the planet, but you won’t return the skin to normal.”

With Kaitlyn’s and her family’s permission, Dr. Jeschke sent an urgent application to Health Canada for a new type of treatment. After Health Canada approved, the doctors proceeded to give Kaitlyn an exosome treatment for her facial burns. The results were a rousing success.

What are exosomes?

Exosomes, or extracellular vesicles (EcVs), are present in almost all cells, tissues, and body fluids. They’re tiny vesicles released naturally by nearly all types of cells, carrying proteins, lipids, and genetic material. They essentially carry these “packages” of material and send signals from one cell to another to regulate their behavior. They’re not only being tested for medical applications like this one, but are a part of a skin care trend as well. While exosomes had been studied for burn research, they haven’t been tested on humans before.

One trillion exosomes were collected and injected into Kaitlyn’s injured areas over the course of two treatments. This helped her cells coordinate in rapidly healing and repairing her facial tissue. The treatments also significantly reduced inflammation.

Astounding healing and new possibilities

After she had healed, Katilyn was amazed and grateful at the result.

“It’s honestly a miracle,” she said. “Being injured in the fire has also had a deep impact on my mental health, and it’s something I’m continuing to deal with. But having such good results, particularly to my face, is helping me move forward.”

Exosomes are still being researched for other potential medicinal applications. They are being tested to see how well they could modulate immune responses and deliver biomarkers. This could help combat cardiovascular disease, neurological disorders, and cancer among other ailments. Time and research will tell whether exosomes can help those patients like they helped Kaitlyn.

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