Licensed therapist says these 3 steps stop rude people from hijacking your mind

This actually works.

By

Mark Wales

Mar 9, 2026

By Mark Wales

March 9, 2026

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Woman exhausted by man's poor behavior. – Photo credit: Canva

Licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer offers three steps for dealing with rude people. In his helpful TikTok post under the name therapytothepoint, he suggests helpful tactics that go far beyond setting simple boundaries.

Rude people are almost impossible to avoid, and the instinct to snap back or make a passive-aggressive remark can be strong. Meltzer shares some practical mental health advice that can lead to a calmer resolution.

@therapytothepoint
3 Ways to Deal With Rude People. #setboundaries #emotionallyimmature #difficultpeople #immaturepeople #emotionalregulation ♬ original sound – TherapyToThePoint

It Begins With Emotional Regulation

Some individuals might believe that other people are responsible for how they make us feel. Meltzer suggests that self-regulation is an important first step to dealing with disrespectful people. Despite instincts to retaliate or escalate the situation, staying calm is more effective.

Meltzer proposes that reciprocating aggression will only embolden a rude person and even justify their poor behavior. Instead, calmness and controlling our emotions will disrupt the pattern. Meltzer explains, “You might feel angry, embarrassed, disrespected, but calmness is about your behavior, despite the internal chaos you may be having. At the end of the day, emotional regulation is your strength, and reactivity gives your power away.”

A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine found that people’s ability to reappraise a stressful event in a more balanced way was strongly linked to greater resilience and better recovery from stress. The strategy helps people stay calmer by changing how the brain interprets the event.

life hacks, behavior, Jeffrey Meltzer, sarcasm, emotional regulation — A woman is rudely interrupted on the phone.
Photo credit Canva

Passive Aggression Is NOT a Solution

An easy response might be the simple eye roll, sarcasm, or a retaliatory personal dig. Meltzer points out that these are only ego attempts to win an unwinnable situation. “Instead, be straightforward. I’m open to talking about this, but not like that. It’s hard for me to connect when you speak to me that way.” Meltzer explains that these tactics bring clarity and remove the defensive guard of said rude individuals.

A 2026 study in Psychology Today reported that passive-aggressive behaviors worsen relationship dynamics and fail to resolve disagreements. Criticism, ostracism (ignoring others), and sabotage all undermine cooperation and relational success.

frustrating, passive aggressive, solutions, mental health — A man blows a dandelion in a woman’s face.
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Role play works

Practice makes perfect has value in dealing with rude people. “You don’t magically become composed under pressure; you train for it.” Meltzer continues, “Practice with a friend. Practice with your therapist. Have them be rude. Respond calmly. Respond assertively. Respond clearly. Because in real life, you don’t rise to the moment, you fall to your level of preparation.”

A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine revealed that an individual’s level of assertiveness can be trained. The strategy of preparation reduced feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.

meditation, annoying people, strategies, peace of mind — Interrupting a meditation.
Photo credit Canva

Stay Calm, Be Assertive, and Practice

The solutions offered by Meltzer seem to resonate. Several people reveal their own struggles when facing similar predicaments. These are some of their comments:

“Practice with a therapist? Why didn’t I think of that”

“You don’t rise to the moment you fall to the level of your preparation. I’m gonna memorize that.”

“I’m waiting for you to write a book about all your amazing insights”

“I can handle them but i internalize later n let it ruin my day”

“The real skill is knowing when to ignore and when to address it. Not everything deserves your energy.”

“Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength. Just say that to them and if they continue, walk away with a smile.”

Meltzer advises that the best way to handle rudeness begins with how we respond. Diffusing a situation helps maintain peace of mind. Remaining composed helps control our own reactions. In the end, rehearsing for success allows us to stay confident when difficult situations arise.

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A couple flirts on the dance floor. – Photo credit: Canva

Health, Uncategorized, Well-being

Love educator shares how awkward flirting can be turned into a romantic superpower

“Flirting gives you more agency over human connection.”

Mark Wales

3/5/2026

In a recent TED Talk, love coach Francesca Hogi shared how even your awkward flirting can be a superpower. Sometimes mistaken as off-putting, flirting actually offers a powerful gateway to real human connection.

By reframing flirting as an act of curiosity, she explains how anyone can kickstart attraction and open the door to lasting love. In an impassioned presentation, Hogi demystifies flirting and explains why building attraction matters.

Flirting can be a superpower

Hogi explains that for 12 years she’s been helping people fall in love as both a matchmaker and a coach. “As a love professional, I can assure you that many dating problems can be solved with flirting,” Hogi says. “If you’re single, it helps you to connect and fall in love. If you’re partnered, it helps you to reignite or maintain the spark of chemistry that brought you together in the first place.”

Many might have concerns about their ability to flirt. Will they be received well, or are they even doing it right? Hogi explains, “I’ve got good news for the introverts out there. You don’t have to be extroverted to be a magnet for connection. In fact, I believe that introverts have a secret advantage when it comes to flirting because your efforts at being more open feel more genuinely inspired by another person and therefore special.”

She shares that flirting can give you confidence and courage. She also acknowledges that feeling awkward is normal. “Confidence with flirting comes from knowing yourself, your intentions, reading the room, discerning other people’s reactions, and adapting accordingly,” she says. “Sometimes it’s going to be awkward, sometimes it’s going to be embarrassing, and that’s okay.”

A couple enjoys flirting.
Photo credit: Canva

Healthy flirting

“Flirting gives you more agency over human connection,” says Hogi.

She then describes the two foundational principles of healthy flirting. The first is presence: being in the moment and avoiding distractions like a phone or the surrounding environment. The second is enthusiasm. Getting the right vibe while being enthusiastic goes a long way toward mastering the art of flirting. These principles have a strong effect on other people.

Hogi explains that expressing positive intentions has a large impact on outcomes:

“You have the ability to leave other people feeling good for having interacted with you…Even your unspoken appreciation for a shared moment of connection, no matter how brief, can often be felt. Lean into being the version of you who leaves other people with a smile on their face and notice how much more magnetic you become.”

A flirtatious interaction.
Photo credit: Canva

Hogi inspires the crowd

People seem quite taken with Hogi’s energy and charisma. Some of the comments expressed admiration for her vibe and flirtatious delivery on stage. Hogi was sharing her own version of flirting as a superpower:

“Even this presentation feels like shes flirting…especially her laughs”

“She is such a good public speaker, ten minutes of speech with no filler words whatsoever”

“Flirting is a way making one feel seen and acknowledged.”

“Where were you, Francesca, when I needed these words? Like, 40 years ago? Never too late, right?”

“Had me clapping in the end! She’z good”

“I feel better about my flirting abilities after watching this now.”

“She’s good , reading her body language generally teaches me more about flirting than learning it itself”

A vintage photo of a couple flirting.
Photo credit: Canva

The power behind a flirtatious connection

Flirting can have a powerful effect on both the initiator and the person on the receiving end. It isn’t necessarily about romance or sex. It helps build and strengthen relationships in everyday life.

A 2025 study on ResearchGate analyzed where and how people flirt. The results suggested that people who flirt can improve with practice. The best flirting involved humor, confidence, and social skills. A 2026 study on ScienceDirect found that flirting can be an effective way for people to express their personality and individual differences. While personality traits and sex were linked to how often and how skillfully people flirted, these influences had only modest effects on overall outcomes.

Hogi suggests flirting requires nuance and a little bit of courage. Practice prepares you for any occasion. “Attentiveness, compliments, playfulness—there’s nothing complicated about these actions, yet they have the potential to spark and sustain connection over time,” she says. “That’s a true superpower we can all tap into.”

Hogi and the research suggest flirting isn’t just a trivial social game. It’s a meaningful way to express personality, build connections, and boost self-confidence. Flirting isn’t shallow. It doesn’t need to involve manipulation or outcome-obsessed action. These small everyday acts of courage embolden human connection and reveal individual superpowers in all of us.

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(LEFT) A cluttered closet. (RIGHT) Chase Hughes. – Photo credit: Canva and YouTube

Health, Well-being

Retired U.S. Navy chief explains how to end discipline anxiety with wholesome ‘butler’ trick

Who wouldn’t love their own personal butler?

Mark Wales

3/4/2026

During an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, retired U.S. Navy chief Chase Hughes explained how to end discipline anxiety. Using a simple perspective shift, often referred to as the “butler” trick, he describes a method of “prioritizing the needs of our future self.”

Hughes shares that understanding discipline is one of the fastest ways to change everything in our lives. We might wish discipline would arrive like a lightning bolt of motivation. However, Hughes suggests the solution lies in our relationship with discipline and the perspective we take on it, which ultimately relieves our anxiety.

End discipline anxiety

Hughes begins by explaining the importance of understanding what discipline actually is: “I define discipline as your ability to prioritize the needs of your future self ahead of your present self.” He goes on to explain that a simple reframing can change the link between discipline and anxiety.

“If I can start looking backwards with gratitude, [it] is the fastest way to make discipline dopamine-generating,” Hughes says. “I want past-tense me to be a source of dopamine for present-tense me. Cause most of us look back with regret. ‘I shouldn’t have drank that much. I shouldn’t have mouthed off at the family reunion. You know whatever it is, I shouldn’t have overslept.’”

A butler ready to be of service.
Photo credit: Canva

The butler trick for discipline

Instead, it’s possible to prioritize long-term endeavors over short-term desires. In the full YouTube video of the interview, Hughes describes the butler trick as a way of treating your future self as someone you can serve today, just like a butler. The concept of looking forward with concerned awareness and backward with gratitude can help release the connection between anxiety and discipline. This reframing and release of negativity help people better motivate themselves and manage their present circumstances.

A 2025 study in SAGE Journals found that future self-orientation directly impacts discipline-related outcomes. This trick can lead to meaningful behavior change. By reframing our relationship with the past, we directly affect our relationship with discipline and procrastination. A 2023 study published by Springer Nature found that procrastination and self-control significantly influence attitudes toward time. How someone relates to time ultimately shapes whether discipline feels easy or overwhelming.

A woman realizes she is late.
Photo credit: Canva

Thoughts on the butler trick

Viewers seemed universally impressed by the solution Hughes offers in the butler trick for discipline. Here are some of their thoughts:

“I love it when Past Me has done something great to support Future Me. Sometimes it’s all I got, but it’s enough.”

“This is the best advice on discipline I’ve ever heard in my life”

“He’s giving you the blueprint for ultimate self care”

“Be methodically organized and make your life less complicated and more suitable to your needs.”

“I’ve heard everything can be looked at as a learning opportunity. Selfless gratitude + learning seems like a strong combo.”

“Be my own butler. Love this!”

Self-discipline is defined as controlling one’s own desires.
Photo credit: Canva

Discipline changes everything

Hughes underscores the value discipline has in changing our lives:

“Discipline is kind of the gateway drug to everything else in authority, and it’s the gateway to composure. But getting your discipline modified is one of the fastest ways to make everything else change.”

Discipline can mistakenly be associated with punishment and rigid routine management. With Hughes’ framing, it might be better described as stewardship. Instead of battling the present, you can serve the future. The butler trick can help us all be more thoughtful toward the person we are becoming.

You can watch the full interview with Chase Hughes on The Diary of a CEO podcast below:

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You say more with your eyebrows than you probably realize. – Photo credit: Canva

Health, Research

Experts say you can ‘talk’ to someone using your eyebrows regardless of language or culture

Here are some eyebrow-raising facts.

Erik Barnes

3/2/2026

In order to communicate and read others effectively, people need to pay attention to others’ body language and their words. Of course, it’s not always easy to decipher. People can interpret body language very differently from one another, but some physical signs are universal (like a smile). However, more than just smiles are universal. New research suggests that, regardless of culture or language, understanding can be found in our eyebrows.

Communication expert Vanessa Van Edwards shared how important eyebrows are for conveying and interpreting curiosity, engagement, and interest. Van Edwards explains that raising our eyebrows comes from humans wanting to widen their eyes to visually get a closer look at something. This behavior has since translated into nonverbally communicating the same thing in conversations. Seeing a person raise both eyebrows indicates that the conversation is in your favor. If their eyebrows are neutral or furrowed, you may want to make pivots or switch topics.

@vvanedwards
The Eyebrow Cue You’ve Been Ignoring
♬ original sound – Vanessa Van Edwards

According to psychologist Dane Archer, as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, eyebrows are especially revealing. The eyes, brows, and forehead tend to show more authentic expression and are less performative than the lower half of the face. “If we are trying to mask our feelings, we do it with our lower face,” Archer said. “The upper face is under a little less control.”

These aren’t the only experts vouching for the importance of eyebrows in human communication. A 2025 study at the Max Planck Institute for Psycholinguistics found that eyebrows were essential for signaling problems of understanding. An audience member raising or furrowing their eyebrows can indicate to a speaker whether listeners understand or need more information.

A speaker can tell how they’re being received by reading their listeners’ eyebrows. Either the audience is tracking with them, or the speaker needs to elaborate on a point. If a listener furrows their eyebrows and the speaker notices, they can pivot mid-speech to provide a clearer example. Once eyebrows return to a neutral position—or signal understanding—the speaker can move on.

According to research from the Max Planck Institute for Psycholinguistics, eyebrows are “initiating repair during conversation” to fix any misunderstandings on the fly.

Researchers say this eyebrow movement isn’t just helpful for verbal communication, it also plays an important role in sign language. In American Sign Language, furrowed eyebrows while signing indicate that someone is requesting information. When asking a question, ASL users rely on brow movement to signal whether the question is genuine or rhetorical.

@smartguy85
Answer to @jday46 #asl #signlanguage #learn #education #questions
♬ original sound – Smart Guy 85

While eyebrows primarily help keep sweat out of our eyes, psychologists argue there are other reasons we have them. Eyebrows are key factors in how humans evolved for communication, helping us express emotion to one another without words.

This helps explain why expressions conveyed through eyebrows are nearly universal, regardless of differences in culture or language—and, in some cases, even species. Domesticated dogs, for example, have evolved prominent inner eyebrows that help them communicate more effectively with humans.

The next time you’re conversing with someone, it’d be worth looking at their eyebrows to see what they’re truly saying back to you.

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