In a recent TED Talk, love coach Francesca Hogi shared how even your awkward flirting can be a superpower. Sometimes mistaken as off-putting, flirting actually offers a powerful gateway to real human connection.

By reframing flirting as an act of curiosity, she explains how anyone can kickstart attraction and open the door to lasting love. In an impassioned presentation, Hogi demystifies flirting and explains why building attraction matters.

Flirting can be a superpower

Hogi explains that for 12 years she’s been helping people fall in love as both a matchmaker and a coach. “As a love professional, I can assure you that many dating problems can be solved with flirting,” Hogi says. “If you’re single, it helps you to connect and fall in love. If you’re partnered, it helps you to reignite or maintain the spark of chemistry that brought you together in the first place.”

Many might have concerns about their ability to flirt. Will they be received well, or are they even doing it right? Hogi explains, “I’ve got good news for the introverts out there. You don’t have to be extroverted to be a magnet for connection. In fact, I believe that introverts have a secret advantage when it comes to flirting because your efforts at being more open feel more genuinely inspired by another person and therefore special.”

She shares that flirting can give you confidence and courage. She also acknowledges that feeling awkward is normal. “Confidence with flirting comes from knowing yourself, your intentions, reading the room, discerning other people’s reactions, and adapting accordingly,” she says. “Sometimes it’s going to be awkward, sometimes it’s going to be embarrassing, and that’s okay.”

flirtation, connection, mental health, good vibes, sexuality
A couple enjoys flirting.
Photo credit: Canva

Healthy flirting

“Flirting gives you more agency over human connection,” says Hogi.

She then describes the two foundational principles of healthy flirting. The first is presence: being in the moment and avoiding distractions like a phone or the surrounding environment. The second is enthusiasm. Getting the right vibe while being enthusiastic goes a long way toward mastering the art of flirting. These principles have a strong effect on other people.

Hogi explains that expressing positive intentions has a large impact on outcomes:

“You have the ability to leave other people feeling good for having interacted with you…Even your unspoken appreciation for a shared moment of connection, no matter how brief, can often be felt. Lean into being the version of you who leaves other people with a smile on their face and notice how much more magnetic you become.”

community, expression, humor, self-confidence, self-esteem
A flirtatious interaction.
Photo credit: Canva

Hogi inspires the crowd

People seem quite taken with Hogi’s energy and charisma. Some of the comments expressed admiration for her vibe and flirtatious delivery on stage. Hogi was sharing her own version of flirting as a superpower:

“Even this presentation feels like shes flirting…especially her laughs”

“She is such a good public speaker, ten minutes of speech with no filler words whatsoever”

“Flirting is a way making one feel seen and acknowledged.”

“Where were you, Francesca, when I needed these words? Like, 40 years ago? Never too late, right?”

“Had me clapping in the end! She’z good”

“I feel better about my flirting abilities after watching this now.”

“She’s good , reading her body language generally teaches me more about flirting than learning it itself”

gender, attraction, laws of attraction, social skills, personality traits
A vintage photo of a couple flirting.
Photo credit: Canva

The power behind a flirtatious connection

Flirting can have a powerful effect on both the initiator and the person on the receiving end. It isn’t necessarily about romance or sex. It helps build and strengthen relationships in everyday life.

A 2025 study on ResearchGate analyzed where and how people flirt. The results suggested that people who flirt can improve with practice. The best flirting involved humor, confidence, and social skills. A 2026 study on ScienceDirect found that flirting can be an effective way for people to express their personality and individual differences. While personality traits and sex were linked to how often and how skillfully people flirted, these influences had only modest effects on overall outcomes.

Hogi suggests flirting requires nuance and a little bit of courage. Practice prepares you for any occasion. “Attentiveness, compliments, playfulness—there’s nothing complicated about these actions, yet they have the potential to spark and sustain connection over time,” she says. “That’s a true superpower we can all tap into.”

Hogi and the research suggest flirting isn’t just a trivial social game. It’s a meaningful way to express personality, build connections, and boost self-confidence. Flirting isn’t shallow. It doesn’t need to involve manipulation or outcome-obsessed action. These small everyday acts of courage embolden human connection and reveal individual superpowers in all of us.

  • Scientists discover how long it takes for the brain to alter and change during meditation
    Photo credit: CanvaMeditation's benefits can peak in the brain as quickly as seven minutes.

    Meditation has been a practice for thousands of years, as early as 5,000 to 3,500 BCE. While typically a spiritual practice, meditation has since become a method to enhance mental and physical wellness. Many use meditation to lower stress and anxiety to feel more calm and grounded. Some practitioners meditate for hours at a time to achieve this, but, according to recent scientific research, they may only need seven minutes.

    A study conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences in Bengaluru, India found that while meditation can alter and change the brain over multiple sessions, it only takes around seven minutes for that mental change to peak per session.

    “Meditation research has traditionally compared broad states such as ‘rest’ versus ‘meditation,’ but we still know surprisingly little about when changes in the brain actually emerge after meditation begins,” said researcher Malipeddi Saketh to PsyPost. “Many people assume meditation effects require long sessions, yet little work has examined the moment-to-moment temporal dynamics of brain activity during meditation.”

    Studying the brain while it’s meditating

    For the study, Saketh and his colleagues separated 103 participants into three groups. The groups were separated by their meditation experience, from novices to regular practitioners. In a sound-proof room, they had the participants individually engage in a 15-minute breath-watching meditation. During these sessions, the researchers analyzed their brain activity at a rate of 1,000 measurements per second. They did this using a specialized net of 128 electrodes placed across the scalp. 

    The researchers also looked at a transitional band called theta-alpha, which ranges from 6 to 10 hertz. This band is said to reflect a calm, focused state when both alertness and relaxation overlap. This is in contrast to 8 to 12 hertz alpha waves, a state of relaxation in which a person is wide awake with their eyes closed.

    To track changes in brain activity over time, the researchers compared the data collected during successive one-minute segments against the baseline, which was the first 30 seconds of the meditation session. They also ran a separate analysis comparing a period of eyes-closed rest to the participant’s meditative state.

    The results were promising, especially for newbies to meditation. The researchers found that brain changes during meditation were found within the first two to three minutes. They also found that regardless of experience, these brain changes peaked in intensity within the first seven to ten minutes. This means someone could get the benefits of meditation in less time than it takes to watch a YouTube video. 

    Effective meditation requires less time than previously thought

    “From a mental well-being perspective, this is encouraging because many people feel they lack sufficient time to meditate or believe they need to practice for very long durations to experience benefits,” Saketh noted. “Our findings suggest that even brief periods of intentional mental training may begin engaging brain processes related to attention and internal awareness.”

    This study means that even if you have little time in your schedule, you can benefit from meditation. According to the Mayo Clinic, meditation can help a person manage symptoms of a wide assortment of ailments. This can range from IBS to high blood pressure. In general, meditation is seen as a good practice for stress management.

    While there are several videos online and various venues for professional meditation sessions, beginners don’t necessarily need those at the start. They may not even need them at all.

    Meditation tips for newbies

    Experts have a few tips to get begin meditating regularly. Set some time aside for meditation, either in the morning to get your day off to a good start or later in the evening to let go of the day’s tension. Meditate in a relaxing, distraction-free spot while seated in a comfortable, upright position. Then, with your eyes closed, focus on the words “breathe in” and “breathe out” as you do so. While you might peak at seven minutes like in the study, you might want to have a full 20-minute meditation session.

    If your mind wanders during your session, just acknowledge that it wandered and continue focused breathing. You may want to initially practice mindfulness as you begin your session. Notice what you are feeling, smelling, and what your other senses are engaged with.

    This practice can take time to master. Some professionals highlight best practices to help you find what’s most effective for you. It should also be noted that meditation is not a replacement for medical treatment. It’s best to consult your doctor and/or psychiatrist to see if meditation can help you with specific needs.

    Meditation may or may not work for you. However, based on this study, it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try for at least seven minutes.

  • Is rubbing your eyes bad for you? 2 eye specialists explain what’s behind the urge to rub and what to do about it
    Photo credit: klebercordeiro/iStock via Getty Images PlusEye rubbing may feel good, but it comes with risks.

    You know the feeling – the itchy eye that is just begging to be scratched.

    Before you start rubbing your eyes, you may want to think twice about the potential consequences.

    While eye rubbing may seem harmless, people who rub their eyes are at risk of infections or damage to their cornea.

    Fortunately, there are a number of common causes of itchy eyes that can be treated to reduce the urge to rub.

    We are a board-certified ophthalmologist and optometrist who provide comprehensive eye care.

    Itchy and irritated eyes are some of the most common reasons that patients visit eye doctors. We have experience in treating the causes of eye rubbing and the consequences, which can require specialized contact lenses or corneal transplantation.

    Causes of eye rubbing

    Rubbing your eyes is often a reaction that occurs when your eyes feel uncomfortable or itchy.

    The most common reason for that itchy sensation is allergic conjunctivitis, which accounts for nearly 50% of itching cases. Allergic conjunctivitis is an inflammatory reaction of the conjunctiva, the clear skin on the surface of the eye. Allergens bind to the surface of cells, ultimately leading to the release of inflammatory chemical molecules that trigger the sensation of itching. People may experience redness, swelling and little bumps on the inside of the eyelids.

    Sometimes the urge to rub happens if there is a gritty sensation, dryness or something stuck in our eyes. This is often a symptom of dry eye syndrome, or blepharitis.

    The urge to rub the eyes can also occur because the eyelids feel itchy, often from other conditions such as dermatitis, which is an inflammation of the eyelid skin.

    Because of the anatomy of the eyelid and the thin outer layer, called the epidermis, it is more vulnerable to irritation from the environment or from contact lenses.

    Close-up of a human eye showing detailed iris, pupil and eyelashes.
    The outer layer of the eyelid, called the epidermis, is highly sensitive to environmental allergens and other irritants. Francesco Riccardo Iacomino/Moment via Getty Images

    Eye rubbing is a risk factor for corneal disease

    The most serious risk that has been associated with eye rubbing is the development of keratoconus, a condition in which the cornea – the clear window in the front of the eye – becomes progressively thinner and more irregular in shape.

    While healthy corneas have a more spherical shape, those with keratoconus become steeper and cone-shaped. Keratoconus often causes high degrees of irregular astigmatism, which is an imperfection in the curvature of the cornea that leads to blurry vision.

    Fortunately, keratoconus can now be treated with a procedure called corneal cross-linking, which can halt further progression in many cases. During this procedure, collagen strands are cross-linked together, strengthening the cornea. Many patients with keratoconus need specialized contact lenses to achieve optimal vision, even after treatment.

    In the most advanced cases, patients may need corneal transplantation to remove the damaged corneal tissue and replace it with healthy donor tissue.

    Other conditions associated with eye rubbing

    corneal abrasion is a scratch in the thin, clear skin that covers the cornea and can be triggered by aggressive eye rubbing or a fingernail that inadvertently touches the cornea. An abrasion is exquisitely painful and usually causes blurry vision. Corneal abrasions require treatment with antibiotics to prevent infection.

    Eye rubbing can also cause a subconjunctival hemorrhage. This occurs when rubbing breaks a small blood vessel on the surface of the eye and makes the eye appear very red. While it can look and feel alarming, a conjunctival hemorrhage is essentially a bruise on the surface of the eye and does not cause lasting damage. This condition typically resolves in one to two weeks without any intervention.

    Conjunctivitis, commonly known as pink eye, is an infection of the conjunctiva that can be spread by eye rubbing. It can be caused by viruses or bacteria. If you must touch your eyes, washing your hands first is a good practice to prevent the spread of infection. Viral forms of conjunctivitis are highly contagious, so you should be particularly careful about rubbing your eyes if you have had contact with someone with pink eye.

    Young adult woman applying eye drops.
    Eye drops can provide some relief from itchy eyes. milorad kravic/E+ via Getty Images

    Treatments for itchy eyes

    Most people rub their eyes without even realizing it. But there are ways to address underlying conditions that might trigger eye rubbing.

    Often, over-the-counter treatments and home remedies can be quite helpful. One treatment that helps address most underlying causes of the urge to itch is to use artificial tears. Pro-tip: Cooling them in the refrigerator helps too!

    In cases of allergic conjunctivitis, it’s important to try to avoid the allergen that triggers the symptoms. For example, if allergies are due to pollen, staying indoors, using sunglasses or rinsing off your face after exposure can help decrease allergen load around your eyes.

    The next option is to try over-the-counter artificial tears to rinse out the allergens. In general, it’s best to avoid the drops that advertise “get the red out,” which provide temporary relief but carry risks of side effects. Cool compresses can also provide some relief from itching, decreasing the urge to rub your eyes.

    If you still find no relief from the itch, the next step would be to try allergy eye drops, which are available with or without a prescription. There are topical treatments that are antihistamines, mast cell stabilizers or a combination of both. Antihistamine eye drops help block the release of histamines, a substance that the body releases after exposure to allergens. Mast cell stabilizers block the breakdown of mast cells – part of the body’s immune system – which helps reduce the release inflammatory chemicals. Combination eye drops help by targeting both mechanisms.

    Since there are many options available, it’s helpful to discuss with your eye doctor which one is the best for you. In cases where there are other symptoms of allergies, such as sneezing or a runny nose, an oral allergy medication could be effective for treating all these symptoms. If you have persistent symptoms, a prescription steroid eye drop can be helpful.

    If the urge to rub your eyes is not improving with artificial tears, cool compresses or over-the-counter allergy eye drops, it’s time to schedule an appointment with your eye doctor for an evaluation.

    This article originally appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

  • Therapist shares 5 ways to be ‘less annoying’ in conversations and it’s a must-watch
    Photo credit: CanvaTwo women having an enjoyable conversation.
    ,

    Therapist shares 5 ways to be ‘less annoying’ in conversations and it’s a must-watch

    None of these habits are malicious. But they sure are annoying.

    Most people think they come across as helpful, engaged, and supportive in conversations. But according to one therapist, these talking habits may be sending a very different message than intended.

    Jeffery, a licensed therapist on TikTok, breaks down five common conversational mistakes people make that can come across as annoying. In the post, viewers didn’t just agree with the list. They began recognizing the same behaviors in friends, family, and even themselves.

    Making the conversation about yourself

    People can mistake sharing personal experiences for the perfect way to show empathy and compassion. It begins innocently enough when someone opens up about something personal. Unfortunately, the listener responds with a story of their own. Both people are trying to connect, but the focus has now completely shifted.

    “When someone constantly redirects conversations back to themselves, people start feeling unimportant,” Jeffery explains. “When every story somehow becomes about you, people stop feeling listened to and start feeling dismissed.”

    A 2023 experiment suggested that reciprocal disclosure increases interpersonal trust. However, an imbalance in the conversation can create feelings of one-sidedness. This “stealing of the spotlight” reduces connection.

    defensive conversation, psychological defensiveness, misunderstanding, negative behavior
    An unhappy couple gets defensive.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Getting super defensive

    Few things shut down a conversation faster than defensiveness. Even simple misunderstandings can turn tense when people instinctively try to correct rather than understand.

    “If every single piece of feedback turns into an excuse or an argument, people eventually stop being honest with you,” Jeffery points out. “Constructive feedback and even some criticism is not always an attack. Sometimes people are simply trying to improve the relationship or communicate something important to you.”

    Psychologists describe this behavior as “psychological defensiveness.” Interestingly, a 2024 study found that defensiveness can be reduced if people are warned beforehand in the right way. Conversation works best when it is framed as a collaborative effort rather than an educational or teaching moment.

    polygraph, apology, interrogation, Marcus Aurelius
    A woman receives a polygraph test.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Drilling people after they apologize

    There is a delicate balance between asking for clarity after an apology and turning the conversation into an interrogation.

    “If someone apologizes and you accept it, but then you keep hammering them over the mistake afterward, it will become exhausting and very annoying,” Jeffery adds. “If people feel like apologizing never actually ends the conflict, they actually become less likely to take accountability in the future.”

    People often mistake feedback for a personal attack on their own truth. There’s a popular statement often attributed to Marcus Aurelius claiming that much of what we perceive is shaped by interpretation rather than fact. People can share their opinions. We don’t have to defend ourselves against all of them.

    Stop constantly complaining

    Everyone deserves an opportunity to vent. But when every conversation circles back to frustration without change, it can become emotionally exhausting for the listener. Over time, even the most supportive friends can start to pull back.

    “Talking about problems is normal,” says Jeffery. “But if almost every interaction revolves around negativity, people start associating you with emotional exhaustion. Nobody wants to leave conversations feeling drained every single time.”

    This pattern of constant, dissatisfied venting has even found its way into pop culture. Maybe you remember the infamous George Costanza from the award-winning show Seinfeld. His nonstop stream of complaints was a running joke about negativity. It’s fun to watch and laugh at, but far less enjoyable to encounter in real life.

    negative emotions, conversational balance, validation, comparison
    A conversation turns to comparison.
    Photo credit: Canva

    One-upping people’s negative emotions

    Sometimes, someone takes a risk and shares a particularly challenging experience. In an attempt to show empathy, saying “I get it” might land more like “that’s not a big deal.” It’s important to offer emotional validation rather than comparison.

    “If someone opens up about something painful and your immediate reaction is to explain how you had it worse, it can make the other person feel completely invalidated,” Jeffery says. “They just want to feel heard and emotionally supported in that moment.”

    A 2023 study revealed that someone trying to relate can sometimes redirect attention away from the original speaker. People feel more supported when their emotions are directly acknowledged instead of reframed or one-upped.

    self-reflection, comment section, familiar conversations, behaviors
    A woman reflected in mirrors.
    Photo credit: Canva

    The comments quickly turn to self-reflection

    Many people said Jeffrey’s list felt immediately familiar, whether in conversations with friends or in their own behavior. These annoying habits became surprisingly relatable once someone pointed them out. Here are some of those thoughts:

    “silently reposting this for one of my friends to find”

    “The first one has ended relationships for me, not because I do it, but because they did it. It’s absolutely exhausting.”

    “I know one of my friends are gonna tag me in this later”

    “I’ve noticed over the years that my annoying personality will surface when I’m trying to protect myself..”

    “I have such a hard time with #1 and I am so aware of it sometimes but I find it so difficult to not do when talking to someone.”

    “I do all of these maybe I should go back to therapy”

    What might be surprising is that many of these habits are things people slip into without realizing it. Jeffrey’s list doesn’t suggest people are intentionally difficult. He points out that annoying conversations can arise from good intentions, too. Allowing a person to be heard can matter more than offering advice that might fix the problem.

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