I, for one, welcome our new leafy overlords
While some toil under the silly impression they’re being watched over by some all-knowing, benevolent deity, professional internet scienticians proved years ago that it was, in fact, the lizard people who control our day-to-day lives and provide marching orders to our illuminati overlords. But what if—and I know this may be hard to believe—that were all a lie? What if every time you partied, you were unknowingly submitting yourself to some other cruel, mindless, fibrous master? What if we were slaves to… vegetables?