Few have mastered the art of a light conversation. In fact, most would choose to avoid one if possible. Maybe it’s because they can be boring. They can be stressful especially if you want to seem interesting and less awkward. Some may find the whole thing a big waste of time.
However, there are people out there thriving and gaining a significant edge in work, friendships, and even their committed relationships. This all stems from the ability to transform a simple interaction into a deeper and more captivating experience.
Most of us struggle to survive the first part of a surface-level conversation, and then few have the means to guide it to a meaningful and more thoughtful exchange.
How to improve your small talk
The good news for those of us horrible at the gab or maybe not that enthused for the opportunity, like all things we can improve. Repetition and repeated failures work on most things, but let’s just jump forward a bit and take up a tool that can have a positive affect for us, basically immediately. Prepare to excel in the art of a transitional phrase.
A redditor named IsaihLikesToConnect offered some fantastic ways to use a simple phrase, “It reminds me of…” to turn the boring banter into something stimulating and interesting.
How to use “It reminds me of…” in a conversation.
Them: “It’s been really rainy, huh?”
You:
Option 1 (Personal Story): “Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car.”
Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): “It reminds me of every Adele song. When I’m driving, I feel like I’m in a music video.”
Option 3 (Family): “It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids.”
Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): “It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they’re trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”
Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”
It’s so simple and yet so genius. “It reminds me of…” gives power over where the conversation goes and accelerates past the mundane dialogue of the weather, boring, into whatever strikes your fancy. Suddenly, conversations designed to trudge the road explode into things in which we’re actually interested.
Hopefully most of us don’t have the nearly hit by a car story to reference, but learning to connect to something we do care about is the means to becoming a small talk champion. Sure, responding to the rain prompt with, “It is raining.” will end the conversation. (In some potential interactions that might be the wise choice.) But, no longer will the fear of taking on a simple conversation be troubling if you utilize a transition like, “It reminds me of…”
Other transitional phrase suggestions
Maybe, “It reminds me of…” isn’t the winning phrase for every conversation. Let’s list out a few more to craft the Transitional Phrase Starter Pack:
“That makes me think of…”
“That brings to mind…”
“That’s just like when…”
“Funny you mention that…”
The skill to really work on when implementing the transitional phrase is connection. Finding the best way to take the given topic, weather, morning drive, weekend plans, etc., and linking into something that tells them more about you or allows you to learn more about them. This winning strategy will help take the small talk to the good talk.
