“We have no women bartenders, where are all the women?” Lynnette Marrero remembered.

The decorated bartender and mixologist worked a cocktail festival many years ago where some 30 women put it together behind the scenes. But when it came time for a film crew to record female bartenders, they were at a loss. She didn’t want it to happen again and neither did fellow renowned bartender Ivy Mix. “It was an a-ha moment, of what can we do to showcase these women?”

Their answer became Speed Rack, the world’s first and only all-female and femme speed bartending competition–a speed rack is also part of a bar to place liquor for quick handling. Now in its thirteenth year, Speed Rack, featuring “Women shaking up the cocktail world,” is part of a larger movement ensuring nobody else wonders where the female bartenders are: they’re right there behind the bar. Marrero and Mix had witnessed too many women and femme identified individuals not getting the credit they deserved or not being able to break through into craft cocktails. Speed Rack became a way to help change that. “It was just about creating a platform and a pedestal for these women to be seen doing what they do every day,” Marrero says. Plus, all proceeds from every Speed Rack event support charities dedicated to breast cancer research like The Pink Agenda. Since it began, Speed Rack has raised over two million dollars for these organizations.

Competitors Sam Smagala, of the bar Joyface, and Miranda Midler, Head Bartender of Dear Irving's Broadway location,u00a0shake it off before Round 1 begins. Elyssa Goodman

On February 17 2025, the eight top bartenders in New York’s regional Speed Rack competition arrived at Melrose Ballroom in Queens for the city’s regional finals. By that point, the field had already been narrowed from some 85 online applications with video submissions to a preliminary competition of 20-25 to tonight’s eight participants. They came from across the city’s cocktail bars–Mister Paradise, The Crane Club, The Portrait Bar, and others–and had to be working at least four shifts a week to qualify.

In a round-robin, bracket-style competition, participants will have to make four perfect cocktails in a matter of minutes–it’s a competition that’s ultimately about speed and accuracy. The drinks will then be delivered to the judges, who will deliberate and give feedback–errors will add time to a competitor’s score. The winner of each round proceeds until there are only two left and a winner is chosen.

The winner will proceed to the National Finals in July at the annual Tales of the Cocktail conference, this year in New Orleans. There, winners from events in Chicago, Denver, Portland, OR, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico will join her, as will winners from Fast Track competitions in Nashville, San Francisco, Houston, Louisville, and Orlando. By the time finalists get to Nationals, they’ll have been training for at least two months, selected for teams sponsored by some of the biggest alcohol brands in the world.

Competitor Hope Rice of The Crane Clubu00a0finishes up the final cocktail of her round, an Old Cuban, with a pour of G.H.Mumm Champagne. The Old Cuban is a drink created by legendaryu00a0bartender Audrey Saunders. Elyssa Goodman

At Nationals, between 16-18 people will compete for a scholarship to the Beverage Alcohol Resource’s 5-Day Program, featuring an opportunity for certification with the “Curriculum for the World’s Most Comprehensive Distilled Spirits & Mixology” held at once a year at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, not to mention countless brand and networking opportunities. Marrero says that Mix usually speaks to contestants beforehand and reminds them that “everyone knows you competed.This is a job interview, so go out there and network, do your best, because whether you’re the winner or not, there’s opportunities that come from this.” Later this year, Speed Rack will also return to Canada and Australia.

Speed Rack becomes not just a way to bring awareness to the gender gap in bartending and the beverage industry, it’s how the gap starts to close. Build a community, reward people for doing a good job, and give them the resources to continue pursuing their education in the field. So it’s fitting that even before the audience starts to arrive at Melrose Ballroom, there’s something electric happening. What’s at stake is not just about cocktails.The venue’s two floors will eventually fill up entirely, and over $14,000 will go to charity. The hot pink fireballs of Speed Rack’s logo and matching pink lights cast a glow across the venue, where sponsors of the event, including brands like Cointreau and Patron, among many others, have set up booths and started mixing cocktails of their own for guests. It’ll be a night full of industry folks, though anyone is welcome to attend.

Competitor Ileana Hernandez just before her round begins. Ileana works at Greenwich Village restaurant Llama San. Elyssa Goodman

Contestants start to mill about the space–they’ve dotted their faces with pink glitter, tied hot pink Speed Rack bandanas around their necks, spotted clothing with pink rhinestones, painted on thick cat eye liner, donned olive cocktail rings, and more. Hugs are thrown with abandon.

“We have so many fresh new faces, I just wanna let y’all know drinking culture in New York is in great hands,” Marrero says, to uproarious applause as she and Mix begin the event. With volunteer barbacks, the first contestants prepare their stations. Ice fills glassware, and sponsors’ bottles are lined up behind the bars for easy access. The host tonight is Vance Henderson, lauded National Brand Ambassador for Hendricks Gin, decked out in hot pink sunglasses and a matching feather boa. He introduces the judges, who are also deeply respected in the beverage industry: Ignacio “Nacho” Jimenez, Operating Partner of cocktail bar Superbueno; Iain Griffiths, co-founder of Bar Snack; Charlotte Voisey, Tales of the Cocktail’s Executive Director; and Amy Racine, Beverage Director and Partner of JF Restaurants.

Full of friends and industry professionals, the audienceu00a0cheers for the annualu00a0New York Regional Speed Rack competition. Elyssa Goodman

I feel jitters just hearing their credentials, but it’s part of the bartenders’ presentation tonight to remain calm and poised. The event, Marrero says later, “showcases what happens on a Friday night, Saturday night, when you’re in a craft cocktail bar and you’re working service, and then four cocktail luminaries walk in and ask for a round, and you have to make that round perfectly, beautifully and fast, really fast.” The drinks must be “balanced, look beautiful and be made with grace behind the bars,” Speed Rack says in its competition notes. The event is intense–the opportunities it gives participants could really change their lives if they want it to–but the mood remains high: Henderson introduces each contestant not unlike fighters in a boxing match, and volunteer barbacks, also industry people, are personal hype folks throughout the night, waving fans and cheering on participants.

With each round, contestants will be given four classic cocktails to produce, one selected by each judge, and the round will be over in a matter of minutes–never longer than five, and even four would be pushing it. The bartenders become a choreography of shaking and stirring and pouring and tasting (and, at least once, egg separating) and when they’ve finished all four beverages, they slap a buzzer to stop their clock. Bensonhurst, Suffering Bastard, Whiskey Sour, Cosmopolitan, Nippon and other cocktails course over the bar through the evening, and soon the judges weigh in. Was it perfect? Too much tequila? Too herbaceous? Was the garnish placed appropriately? Did the drink need to be more diluted? While they wait for final scores, bartenders high five friends like they’re autographing headshots at a movie premiere, they pour shots into mouths, they can’t believe they did it again. With final scores, the winners advance.

As the night goes on, more and more people push toward the front. People cheer on their friends, bang on the stage, a flamboyant chorus of “WOOOOOOO” and “GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!” and the girl next to me who looks a contestant dead in the eyes and says “Rachel, you’re a bad bitch. BAD. BITCHES. ONLY,” with a half-empty cocktail in her hand.

Competitor Rachel Prucha, of Mister Paradise and Hawksmoor,u00a0ready to take on her round. Elyssa Goodman

The music gets louder. In the last round, the finalists are indeed the aforementioned Rachel, Prucha of Mister Paradise and Hawksmoor, and Lana Epstein of The Portrait Bar. Taking their places behind the bar, all they have to do now is make four perfect cocktails while a few hundred of their closest friends and industry professionals scream and chant and applaud. It’s another dance, of whiskey and raspberries and straws and tonic and ice and god knows what else, into jiggers, into shakers, into mixing glasses, until that buzzer is banged for the last time and the cocktails are out, in front of the judges. The deliberation feels endless. It’s some four hours from when we started and nerves are askew. More shots! More cheering! Lana, Lana! Rachel, Rachel!

Lana wins, and then something amazing happens–a swirl of friends and bartenders who competed rush the stage to cheer her on, her name chanting from their lips as they embrace her in a giant hug and pink petals fall from the ceiling. People put her on their shoulders, they take pictures, they pour bubbly into her mouth like it’s the Super Bowl. The joy is genuine, and to me it’s the most moving part of the evening because it’s ultimately what Speed Rack is actually about: women supporting women.

Bartender Lana Epstein, of The Portrait Bar,u00a0wins Speed Rack's New York Regional competition. Friends and fellow competitors raise her up and offer bubbly to celebrate. Elyssa Goodman

“The community vibe of, ‘it’s not just one of us, it’s all of us,’ is really important,” Marrero says. She believes Speed Rack can keep regenerating itself because it really is an event for the community. There’s an understanding that the platform represents inclusivity, she continues, giving basic training to everyone and sharing foundational knowledge, and this helps people move up in the industry and continue sharing.

Marrero doesn’t remember a lot of men helping her with this when she started–it was women. She hopes in the future there will be even more women and femme identified individuals in ownership, partnership, and leadership positions throughout the beverage industry. While she says many people come to the industry for a flexible work life as they pursue an artistic endeavor, she already sees Speed Rack’s impact making space for the next generation. “The future is in, the more people that we continue to recruit to stay in the industry,” she says. “The rest of us can then go on to get funding, open places, and give those folks a spot to grow and and really, light the world on fire one cocktail at a time.”

Stay up to date with Speed Rack on Instagram, and buy the Speed Rack cocktail book A Quick Drink: The Speed Rack Guide to Winning Cocktails for Any Mood, published in 2024. A portion of Marrero and Mix’s royalties also go to breast cancer charities.

And if you’re interested in competing, learn more here.

  • He threw a message in a bottle into the ocean as a teen. It washed up 49 years later with a response.
    A bottle with a message inside resting on a beachPhoto credit: Canva
    ,

    He threw a message in a bottle into the ocean as a teen. It washed up 49 years later with a response.

    Two beachcombing brothers nearly skipped the trip. On a remote Bahamian island, one of them found a sand-covered glass Pepsi bottle with a note inside from 1976.

    In May 1976, a ninth-grader named Peter R. Thompson sealed a short note inside a glass Pepsi bottle, handed it to the Coast Guard, and watched it get dropped into the Atlantic Ocean. The note asked whoever found it to write back with the date, location, and how they’d come across it. He was 14. He was doing it for an oceanography class at Pentucket Regional Junior High School in West Newbury, Massachusetts. He then, by his own admission, mostly forgot about it.

    The bottle drifted for 49 years.

    Earlier this year, brothers Clint and Evan Buffington had nearly canceled a trip to a remote out-island in the Bahamas after both came down with an illness. They went anyway. As Clint told WCVB, they were walking the beach on a beautiful sunny morning when his walkie-talkie crackled to life. His brother’s voice came through: “You’re not going to believe what I just found.”

    It was the bottle. Inside, the note was sand-covered and browned with age but still fully legible, more than 1,000 miles from where it had started.

    As reported by Boston.com, Clint Buffington is no casual beachcomber. He found his first message in a bottle in 2007 and has since found over 120 of them, documenting each one on his Message in a Bottle Hunter blog. He knew immediately this one was special. In a Facebook post that began circulating widely, he wrote about what the note meant not just as an artifact, but as a window into the mind of a kid from the 1970s with a science assignment and a big imagination: “Just think what it meant to the 14-year-old kid who sent it in the 70s! The dreams of where it would travel, where it might wind up, who might find it.”

    @clint_buffington

    Here’s the 1976 message in a bottle my brother found a few weeks ago! Y’all wanted to know what it says, so here you go 🙂 Now, to some, this may sound like a pretty “straightforward” message… No romance, no pirate treasure map. But just think what it meant to the 14 year old kid from West Newbury Massachusetts who sent it in the 70s! The dreams of where it would travel, where it might wind up, who might find it… Well, after who knows how many trips around the North Atlantic, drifting past whales and cargo ships, shimmering under the northern lights…it wound up on a very sparsely inhabited out-island of the Bahamas and rested in the sun as world leaders and wars came and went, music and clothing styles rose and fell. Somewhere in there, my brother (who found it) and I were born, grew up, went to school, got married, had kids…. And all that time, this message was waiting to be found. There’s way more going on with this message than you could ever imagine just by reading it! So, here’s hoping we connect with Peter R. Thompson of West Newbury, MA — And that wherever he is today, he still has that 14-year-old dreamer inside him, full of curiosity! #messageinabottle #westnewbury #massachusetts #beachcombing #beachcomber #beachcombingtreasure #treasurehunting #fun #happy #goodvibes #newengland #lostandfound #exciting

    ♬ original sound – Message in a Bottle Hunter

    He went on to describe the bottle’s imagined journey across the North Atlantic, drifting past whales and cargo ships, sitting on a Bahamian shoreline while decades of history rolled by, while he and his brother were born, grew up, got married, had kids. “And all that time,” he wrote, “this message was waiting to be found.”

    Clint posted a TikTok asking for help tracking down Thompson. It crossed one million views. Boston journalist Emily Maher, a reporter at WCVB, got there first. She found Thompson, now living in Leominster, Massachusetts, and put him on the phone with the brothers. “I have found someone that you’ve been looking for,” she told Clint. “I’m going to hand the phone over to Mr. Peter Thompson.”

    Thompson’s reaction, as he told WCVB, was simple and genuine: “It’s amazing. It’s almost 50 years later. It’s a big surprise.” He said he doesn’t remember writing the exact note, but he does remember the oceanography class. The Buffington brothers are planning to return the note to him in person.

    @clint_buffington

    Wow, you guys! Guess what? WE FOUND PETE THOMPSON!! The author of this 1976 message in a bottle!! My sweet brother, Evan, and I are still reeling from the outpouring of support and help we got through TikTok and @WCVB Channel 5 Boston News as we searched for Pete, who was about 14 when he sent the bottled note 49 years ago. Well, thanks to YOU all, we DID find him!!! I mean, really, we are just two goofy brothers, now dads in our 40s (where did the time go!) who have a weird hobby (finding messages in bottles) and we’ve never gone viral on TikTok, so we are a little overwhelmed and a lot grateful! Evan was FLOORED when we very luckily happened to be together this past week, and in the midst of this wild search for Pete, all of a sudden we received a phone call from WCVB’s Emily Maher who had Pete ON THE PHONE WITH US!!! We had a great little chat, all of us totally in shock, and we all STILL are! Pete still lives in the area and was deeply surprised to hear about his message in a bottle—at last check he was still combing through memories of his science / Oceanography class for recollections of making this message in a bottle. It’s amazing what one little scrap of paper in a bottle can do—the memories it can rekindle, the friendships it can spark. It’s so strange to think that this bottle was sent 6 years before Evan was born, and 8 years before I was. Every day of our lives, every little triumph or loss—graduations, meeting and losing friends, getting our drivers licenses, family vacations when we were tiny…every single breath we’ve ever breathed, and this message in a bottle was out there the whole time, just waiting… Sharing this with Pete is a great joy, and sharing it with all of you—who really seem to understand why we love this crazy hobby so much—has also been a total thrill. We have so many more unopened messages in bottles to investigate, and we will need your help! Each one is a portal into someone else’s life, into their world, and who knows where the next one will take us?! We really hope you stick around for the ride. So, from Evan, from me: Thank you, thank you, thank you. We could not have done this without you! As Evan says in this video, “It takes a village”!! Here’s hoping we can return Pete’s message to him! #messageinabottle #westnewbury #massachusetts #boston #newengland #bahamas #fun #happy #goodvibes #goodnews #beachcombing #beachcombingfinds #oceanography #grateful #gratitude

    ♬ original sound – Message in a Bottle Hunter

    Clint’s framing of what makes these discoveries meaningful applies as much here as anywhere: “I always think the most important thing about these messages is not how old they are or how far they’ve traveled. It’s the people on the other side.”

    Peter Thompson spent 49 years not thinking much about a bottle he threw into the ocean as a kid. Then two brothers nearly sick enough to stay home decided to go to the beach anyway, and suddenly the question he asked in 1976 finally had an answer.

    @clint_buffington

    Ahoy, New England!! My goonball brother EVAN found this 1976 message in a Pepsi bottle on a sparsely inhabited Bahamas island last month, 49 years after it was sent by a Peter R. Thompson who lived in West Newbury, MA at the time! He was a 9th grader at Pentucket Regional Junior High School. Yes, there are many Peter Thompsons on social media but we can’t seem to find the right one! Does anyone out there know the right Peter? And @pepsi – if you are looking to rack up some good karma, here’s a chance: Get out your megaphone! Let’s find Peter R. Thompson and COMPLETELY BLOW HIS MIND!! #messageinabottle #pepsi #westnewbury #massachussets #newengland #lostandfound #beachcombing #beachcomber #beachcombingaddict #beachcombingfinds #beachtreasure #trashtotreasure #found #exciting #fun #mystery #happy #goodvibes #goodnews #solvethis #whoareyou #bahamas #treasurehunter

    ♬ original sound – Message in a Bottle Hunter

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Restaurant owner turns a fake 1-star tamale review into a social media frenzy
    (Left) Tamales in the corn husk. (Right) A woman works on a laptop. Photo credit: Canva

    A restaurant owner shared a strategic, fake one-star review that became a social media frenzy. Posing as Rebecca O., the first review described the tamale-eating experience as “absolutely awful tamale.” A second review followed, joking that Rebecca didn’t know to remove the husk before eating it.

    Restaurant owner Pauline Alvarado dreamed up the creative marketing tactic. She came up with the idea after a woman had expressed a similar experience just days before.

    One-star tamale review goes viral

    Located in Phoenix, Arizona, The Tamale Store is a family-owned Mexican restaurant. After Alvarado craftily posted the first one-star review, the second earned a full four stars. It read, “OK, I was just told I’m not supposed to eat the cornhusk. That just changed the whole experience. Seriously the best thing I’ve ever tried omg. Sorry I don’t know how to delete my other review, my bad.”

    The review has gone viral on multiple platforms, including Instagram and Facebook. The Internet delivered thousands of comments and a flood of exposure for the restaurant—an excellent outcome for any successful marketing strategy.

    In a 2026 article in Newsweek, Alvarado shared the story behind her winning idea:

    “The idea came from a woman who purchased a hot tamale the day before and came back to complain. When I went to see which one she had been eating, I realized she had eaten part of the corn husk. We both laughed, and I gave her another tamale on the house so she could try again. That moment inspired the Rebecca character. In our 18 years in business, I cannot count how many Rebecca O’s we have had. I wanted to showcase that in a lighthearted and funny way!”

    tamale, restaurants, Mexican food, husk, food preparation, funny story
    Unwrapping a tamale from the corn husk.
    Photo credit: Canva

    People share their thoughts with Rebecca

    One of the reasons behind the success of the fake one-star review was its relatability. Here are some of the comments shared on one of the Instagram posts:

    “Welcome to the wonderful world of tamales, Rebecca.”

    “Had a friend from Ohio also eat the husk and was trying to be polite and still said it was good. Such a good laugh lol.”

    “Like when my dad said he didn’t like mango and come to find out it’s because he ate it like an apple”

    “They really should tell people or give instructions not to eat the skin I had my first one a couple years ago and I didn’t know either.”

    “I didn’t eat a tamale until I was almost 30 and I was so confused about this too”

    crowd, community, relatability, social interactions, social media, events, viral
    A crowd doing the wave. Photo credit: Canva

    Why relatability sells

    Alvarado isn’t the first business owner to craft a successful sales and marketing tactic through social media. Credibility and engagement are often tied to relatability.

    A 2025 study published on Springer Nature Link revealed that “authentic” influencers drive stronger engagement and significantly affect consumer response and purchases. Similarly, a 2025 engagement study found that increased user interaction on platforms like Instagram suggested relatable content influenced sales.

    When studies reveal that relatable, story-driven content drives engagement, it’s easy to see why Alvarado’s fake one-star tamale review was so successful. Turning confusion into comedy and connection created real buzz. The idea, based on real-life experience, was simple, human, and funny.

  • These seven simple phrases could be the secret to deepening trust and romance in your relationship
    A happy couple enjoys coffee togetherPhoto credit: Canva
    , , ,

    These seven simple phrases could be the secret to deepening trust and romance in your relationship

    If you want a more secure relationship a Harvard expert recommends using these seven phrases.

    Maintaining a deep sense of connection and trust in a long term relationship is often easier said than done. Even for couples who have been together for years, the daily grind can sometimes dull the spark of romance. However, Dr. Cortney Warren, a psychologist trained at Harvard Medical School, has identified a specific set of verbal habits that distinguish highly successful, trusting couples from those who struggle.

    Dr. Warren recently shared seven phrases that secure partners use every day to reinforce their commitment. These small shifts in language are designed to foster vulnerability, safety, and a sense of shared purpose.

    The first few phrases focus on the core of any partnership: the belief that your partner is on your side.

    @drcortneywarren

    Feeling that twinge of jealousy or insecurity in your relationship? It happens to all of us, but how you respond can make all the difference. Instead of immediately reacting, try this: pause and ask yourself: What does my reaction to this situation say about me? Is it about fear of being unloved? A belief that you’re “not enough”? Often, our strongest emotional reactions are more about our own insecurities than about our partner’s actions. Taking the time to reflect on your triggers, where they come from, and how you can strengthen your self-esteem can help you communicate with your partner in a healthier, more productive way. This clip is from my recent conversation with Shanenn Bryant on the Top Self Podcast. #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence #HealthyRelationships #JealousyTriggers #TopSelfPodcast #RelationshipAdvice

    ♬ original sound – DrCortneyWarren – DrCortneyWarren

    1. “I trust you.”

    Simple, to the point, and clear. This communicates that you know your partner and that you believe they have your best interest in heart, even if you get into an argument. It also allows them to feel safe making some decisions on both of your behalf.

    2. “You see me as I am.”

    This not only tells your partner that they know all there is to know about you without fear of hiding parts of yourself, but that you’re comfortable being vulnerable should a difficult subject come up. It communicates that you trust your partner will respond with compassion, not judgment, while implying that they can trust you to do the same in return.

    Dr. Cortney Warren, relationship advice, Harvard psychologist, building trust, healthy communication, romance tips, non-verbal cues, marriage success, intimacy, partnership
    A couple on a romantic date. Credit: Canva

    3. “We’ll get through this.”

    Arguments, fights, and conflicts happen in even the most solid relationships. However, saying this phrase reinforces that while things still need to be sorted out, there is no intention of breaking the relationship over the disagreement. It allows more open communication and reiterates that it is you and your partner against the problem, not each other.

    4. “Go have fun with your friends/Thanks for giving me space!”

    If your relationship is solid, time apart shouldn’t be a threat. Alone time is natural and, frankly, healthy. Respecting your partner’s independence in turn respects yours.

    Dr. Cortney Warren, relationship advice, Harvard psychologist, building trust, healthy communication, romance tips, non-verbal cues, marriage success, intimacy, partnership. Credit: Youtube

    5. “I miss you.”

    As a counterbalance to the previous phrase, “I miss you” isn’t an indicator of being too clingy unless you’re not offering your partner the trust to have space. It’s just a nice way of saying that you look forward to being together and builds upon that when you reunite, whether it’s after a long business trip or later in the evening after work.

    6. “Let’s make a plan!”

    A growing relationship means mutually planning and investing in each other’s futures to further turn “your plans” and “my plans” into “our plans.” This phrase relays to your partner that you want them around for the long haul.

    7. “Can we talk?”

    Communication issues are one of the primary reasons relationships fail. Asking this simple and direct question accompanied with the previous phrases as foundations in your relationship will allow trust for you to ask and be asked when something troubling occurs with either of you.

    While verbal communication is important in sustaining relationships, it’s good to incorporate non-verbal gestures of support, love, and trust, too.

    Now, pairing these loving wordless gestures that expertscounselors, and psychologists recommend with the previous seven phrases could help your relationship develop deeper connection and trust.

    1. Eye contact

    Seeing eye-to-eye literally helps you both see eye-to-eye better when discussing a difficult topic or when you want to express loving attention to your partner.

    2. Smile

    Smiling is a nonverbal cue to reiterate that your partner’s presence is welcomed and safe. It also reminds your partner that you’re both okay, too.

    3. Supportive touch

    Caressing a shoulder, a peck on the forehead, holding hands, or a tight hug—any of these and all of these are ways to provide comfort and reassurance along with your words. It could also be a way to indicate your interest in further intimacy.

    4. Mirroring

    Matching your partner’s posture and pose helps foster connection while also indicating you’re absorbing what they’re verbally communicating to you. So, when you adjust your posture to meet theirs when they’re discussing something important to them, they’ll know you think it’s important, too. On the other end, if you match their relaxed pose, they’ll in turn feel more relaxed, too.

    5. Enjoy quiet time together

    Being able to enjoy the silence in the same room bolsters feelings of safety and comfort. It shows that you and your partner don’t feel panicked or stressed about the other feeling bored, awkward, and you don’t cary the pressure of needing to be entertained/entertaining. Shared silence is precious in a relationship.

    6. Handwritten notes

    Okay, this might be a cheat technically, but written notes and letters can be left for your partner to find when they wake up after you have left for work early, on the kitchen table, or on a bathroom mirror as ways to express those previous seven phrases. For some people, written communication is much easier for them than speaking, too, so there’s that factor to consider.

    7. Acts of service

    This is a bit of a grab bag as what acts of service are depends on who you are in the relationship with. It could be making them coffee each morning the way they like it so they don’t have to. It could be doing a chore they hate doing. It could be cooking them their favorite food after finding out that they had a long day. These acts remind your partner that they’re known and safe with you.

    This article originally appeared last year.

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