Hospice doctor shares what happens in the moments immediately after death

Throughout human history, one question has bewildered every civilization, society, and individual. What happens after we die?

For some people, it is a question for science. For others, it is a question of faith. But for Dr. B.J. Miller, it is a question that he is totally fine not knowing the answer to.

Miller is a hospice and palliative care physician at the University of California, San Francisco. He is one of the world's leading voices on dignified death, and for him, the end of life is actually about the living.

A woman holds a family member's hand in the hospitalCanva

The "Lingering" Feeling

In a profound conversation with Oprah Winfrey, Miller was asked to describe what it feels like to be physically present around someone in their exact moment of death. His answer suggested that the boundary between here and there is not a hard wall.

"I’ve been around people who are just about to die," Miller said. "Bodies that have just died. And there is this lingering sense, it’s true. There’s a feeling. It’s a palpable... yeah, there’s a lingering."

Miller was quick to say he is not sure what that feeling is or if he could ever know. He leaves room for interpretation.

"And I don’t know if that’s in my mind or if it’s in the air or if that’s spirit," he said.

A bird flying across the sky under the sunCanva

The Mundane Beauty of Passing

As the former executive director of the Zen Hospice Project, Miller can provide true solace for those facing the end because he has seen countless people pass peacefully. He notes that unlike the movies, where death is often dramatic or violent, reality is much quieter.

"I’ve been around folks who, I’ll be sitting there talking with their family and we’re having a conversation, and the person dies in the middle of a conversation. And it’s seamless," Miller told Winfrey. "It’s almost gorgeously... mundane. It’s just, they were here and now they’re gone."

Making Peace with the Unknown

Given his extensive research and experience with death, most would figure Miller to be obsessed with the afterlife. However, his perspective is shaped by his own brush with mortality.

Decades ago, Miller lost three limbs in a freak electrical accident. That trauma forced him to reevaluate his relationship with control and the unknown. He found comfort in living in the here and now rather than obsessing over what comes next.

"One thing that my injuries helped me with was to not need to know," Miller says. "I didn’t need to have control over everything, I didn’t need to know the answers anymore. I mean, I love not knowing. The answer’s unimportant. It’s just a sacred and gorgeous moment."

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This article originally appeared 8 years ago.