“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.


-Annie Dillard

The traditional “American Dream” retirement mindset you learn from a young age tells you to go to college, climb the ladder, find a well-paying job that allows you to support a family, retire at 65, and you’ll be fulfilled.

There’s one slight problem with this retirement mindset: it doesn’t actually lead to fulfillment. Gallup’s 2013 State of the American Workplace report showed that as many as 70% of American workers are disengaged at their jobs. Nearly one-fifth of those people were so disengaged at the office that they were actively undermining their co-workers’ work.

I think part of this lack of fulfillment stems from our failure as a society to encourage people to ask themselves simple questions which often don’t yield simple answers: Who am I? What do I want? Why am I here? What do I want for the world? What is my purpose? Why?

I’ve asked many of my peers why? over the last two years and not once has someone answered, “make lots of money so I can buy nice stuff,” “run a corporation so I can have lots of power,” or “pass the time as quickly as possible, doing as little as possible, so I can retire with a pension in 40 years and go on a cruise with my partner.”

Rather, they’ve said things like: “I want to teach urban teenagers how to avoid debt and become successful entrepreneurs,” “I want to inspire young girls to think they can become engineers, and not Barbie dolls,” “I want to teach kids living in a food desert how to grow their own food,” and “I want to ensure that large corporations reduce their carbon footprint.”

Rather than waiting for retirement, millennials are asking what their purpose is now, and they’re determined to find the opportunities, organizations, and companies that share their dreams.

A lot of books about finding meaningful work ask you to determine your calling in life. Those books scare the shit out of me. Instead, in The Quarter-Life Breakthrough, I propose that finding meaningful work is about asking complex questions rather than coming up with easy answers. Let’s accept the idea that very few people have only one purpose, one truth, or one calling. Our purpose actually changes throughout our lives as we try different jobs, travel to new places, meet new people, and grow older. Over the last 30 years, I’ve had numerous different “callings,” from being Big Bird on Sesame Street to being a sports writer to making movies—and I’m currently doing none of those things.

We each have to define meaning for ourselves and accept that our definition might change over time. Viktor Frankl’s bestselling and still-relevant book, Man’s Search for Meaning is about his experience in a Nazi concentration camp, during which he lost his pregnant wife and most of his family. Frankl wrote: “Being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself—be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself—by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love—the more human he is.”

Building from this ideal, my book discusses five essential components of meaningful work: meaningful work reflects who you are and what your interests are, allows you to share your gifts to help others, and is financially viable given your desired lifestyle.

Any kind of work can be meaningful: the challenge is discovering what in particular makes you come alive. Here are a few questions that can help you find work that is both personally fulfilling and makes a positive difference in the world.

1. Meaningful work reflects who you are. So, who are you? What do you love about yourself? What makes you weird? (Being weird is good.) Who do you want to show up as every day? When was the last time you were really happy? When was the last time you were really sad?

2. Meaningful work reflects your interests. What do you care about? What injustice infuriates you? What social issues are you most passionate about? What happened that made you change the way you see the world? What personal life experiences have shaped your beliefs?

3. Meaningful work allows you share your gifts. What are you really good at? What are your unique skills and strengths, your gifts to the world? Which of your gifts do you actually like doing? What areas do you need to deepen your knowledge in? What types of classes do you need to take? What experts or mentors do you need to talk to? What research do you need to do?

4. Meaningful work allows you to help others. What type of impact do you want to make? What type of impact have you had in previous jobs? Do you need the results of your work every single day? Do you need to have a face-to-face relationship with the people you’re serving?

5. Meaningful work is financially viable given your desired lifestyle. What are your estimated weekly and monthly expenses? What is your ideal quality of life? How much money do you need to live a quality of life that suits you? Will a particular job or opportunity allow you to be fulfilled outside of work? Will you have healthy work-life balance? Will your work environment and co-workers energize or drain you?

As you begin your meaningful job search, look for positions where you can share your unique gifts at organizations that match your values and provide the opportunity to make an impact, and the quality of life you desire. In other words, find the sweet spot where as many of these pieces as possible overlap.

Fitting these pieces together often takes time and patience. I dislike delayed gratification as much as the next millennial, but there’s no easy button, especially in today’s job market. While certainly challenging, finding meaningful work is not impossible. Unlike 70 percent of Americans, the millennials profiled in my book are excited about how they spend their days and all of them started their journey with asking the right questions.

Adapted from The Quarter-Life Breakthrough, available on Amazon. Resources, including job boards and suggested reading, are available at thequarterlifebreakthrough.com.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzUZaJgfqmI

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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