I’ve seen it countless times driving from Calabasas to Los Angeles on Highway 101—a sign that reads “HMI, College of Hypnotherapy” right before an exit for Tarzana. For years, I wanted to take that exit. This past fall, I finally did. The self-hypnosis class I took was not only one of the most relaxing Wednesday nights I’ve had in recent memory, but it got me thinking about using self-hypnosis as a supercharged version of meditation. Looking at it that way, could we hypnotize ourselves into changing the way we think, and in turn, the way we act on our goals? GOOD spoke with seasoned hypnotherapist and HMI instructor John Melton about just that.


Are there instances in which self-hypnosis can be more effective than meditation?

I would say that oftentimes they have a different purpose—especially for people who are more in their heads or thinkers. To put it in simple terms, self-hypnosis tends to work better for them because they have a hard time shutting off their minds and engaging in meditation. They find it more difficult. Because self-hypnosis is a self-directed state where they’re actually guiding it and in their head thinking, it tends to work better for that type of person. Some people are using meditation for managing stress or trying to clear their mind, and self-hypnosis is very similar, but we’re attempting to put information in, if you will, and create change through that information. Whether it’s a thought or a feeling or an imagination of a change the person wants.

What myths still surround hypnosis that you’d like to dispel?

People have a fear of losing control. Obviously, with self-hypnosis that’s not as present because they’re doing it themselves. Still, there are thoughts that they’re going to reveal something they don’t want to reveal or that they might get stuck in this state. But again, hypnosis is a natural state. We all experience it. It’s really not so much a question of ‘Can someone be hypnotized?’ It’s more a matter of if you can use it as a therapeutic tool or not—that’s really the only question. So, the big myths are that they watch a stage show and they think someone is being controlled, but that’s really an illusion. You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do, that’s the bottom line.

It’s interesting when you put it that way, because none of us are afraid of zoning out in traffic, not realizing that is a state of hypnosis.

That’s true. Because we are not not present, if you will, it’s just that our critical thinking is focused on something else for a moment. But your mind is still taking in the surroundings, and if something happens in front of you, you snap into it right away. In your car, you don’t have to think about making certain turns that you make everyday to your home or your work because it becomes unconscious. When we go to sleep at night, we go right through this state. It’s a natural process between fully awake and present to a fully unconscious state. We experience it when we go to a movie and suspend reality. We know it’s not real, so we go in with an intention to be entertained, to allow ourselves to be receptive to the information. If we went to a movie and kept telling ourselves ‘this isn’t real, these are just actors,’ it’d ruin the whole experience. So, again, hypnosis is what I like to refer to as a consent state, meaning you have to want to be hypnotized. When we’re talking about using it as a therapeutic tool, that is an important part of it.

You’ve talked about stage hypnotists being trained to find the right people in an audience to create the illusion of hypnosis being mind control. Who are these people and how do they spot them?

Well, we have a term called suggestibility, and there are different types of suggestibility. There is a suggestibility type that we refer to as a somnambulist. If you looked it up in the dictionary, it’d probably talk about sleepwalking. But in terms of hypnosis, a somnambulist is a certain type of person who processes information in a certain manner. These are the people you can quickly hypnotize if they want to be. But even these people can’t be controlled. If you watch any stage show, the person will pull up people they feel are probably a somnambulist and then they peel off a few of them who just don’t want to be there and aren’t really following.

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]These are the people you can quickly hypnotize if they want to be.[/quote]

The thing about this type of person is that they can be taken into a deep hypnotic state quickly. And one of the aspects of depth is that when you wake up from depth, there’s a tendency to forget what you’re doing or what you did, much like waking up from a dream. And when you’re in that deep state, there’s a tendency to disconnect from your inhibitions. So you’ll do things that you might not otherwise do to a degree. In other words, you wouldn’t be as embarrassed to act like you’re a silly alien or something. And in the moment, the person knows exactly what they’re doing, they just don’t feel restricted in doing it because of the dissociative state they’ve created. When they wake up, they forget they did it because of the state and it creates this illusion of control that doesn’t really exist.

Can we use self-hypnosis to achieve our New Year’s resolutions, and if so, in what ways?

Certainly, it’s a tool that can be helpful for the average things people often want to gain greater control over. There are complexities that come into play sometimes when you’re talking about someone trying to quit smoking versus trying to eat more healthfully. For instance, food is something you have to control. You can’t stop it like smoking. But to improve your confidence, feel better about getting to the gym more often, or to eliminate or reduce your consumption of sweets—this is where it can be very helpful.

For someone who’s interested in practicing self-hypnosis but not sure where to start, what advice do you have?

It really depends on what they’re trying to learn. At the institute here, we have a large website with lots of information and videos, so that could be a place to start. With the internet, there’s a lot of information out there, and some of it is better than others. You can Google the American Hypnosis Association, as there’s some good information there. I would look at studies if you’re interested in the science behind it and how it works.

Hypnosis is all about results, about creating change. It’s a tool of not just analysis, but also action. In a world that I think is becoming more aware and more focused on natural ways of being healthy to ourselves, the people around us, and the planet, I think this is a naturally good tool to help people in that regard. I think it fits beautifully.

This interview was edited for length and clarity.

  • Licensed therapist says these 3 steps stop rude people from hijacking your mind
    Woman exhausted by man's poor behavior.Photo credit: Canva

    Licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer offers three steps for dealing with rude people. In his helpful TikTok post under the name therapytothepoint, he suggests helpful tactics that go far beyond setting simple boundaries.

    Rude people are almost impossible to avoid, and the instinct to snap back or make a passive-aggressive remark can be strong. Meltzer shares some practical mental health advice that can lead to a calmer resolution.

    It Begins With Emotional Regulation

    Some individuals might believe that other people are responsible for how they make us feel. Meltzer suggests that self-regulation is an important first step to dealing with disrespectful people. Despite instincts to retaliate or escalate the situation, staying calm is more effective.

    Meltzer proposes that reciprocating aggression will only embolden a rude person and even justify their poor behavior. Instead, calmness and controlling our emotions will disrupt the pattern. Meltzer explains, “You might feel angry, embarrassed, disrespected, but calmness is about your behavior, despite the internal chaos you may be having. At the end of the day, emotional regulation is your strength, and reactivity gives your power away.”

    A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine found that people’s ability to reappraise a stressful event in a more balanced way was strongly linked to greater resilience and better recovery from stress. The strategy helps people stay calmer by changing how the brain interprets the event.

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    A woman is rudely interrupted on the phone.
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    Passive Aggression Is NOT a Solution

    An easy response might be the simple eye roll, sarcasm, or a retaliatory personal dig. Meltzer points out that these are only ego attempts to win an unwinnable situation. “Instead, be straightforward. I’m open to talking about this, but not like that. It’s hard for me to connect when you speak to me that way.” Meltzer explains that these tactics bring clarity and remove the defensive guard of said rude individuals.

    A 2026 study in Psychology Today reported that passive-aggressive behaviors worsen relationship dynamics and fail to resolve disagreements. Criticism, ostracism (ignoring others), and sabotage all undermine cooperation and relational success.

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    A man blows a dandelion in a woman’s face.
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    Role play works

    Practice makes perfect has value in dealing with rude people. “You don’t magically become composed under pressure; you train for it.” Meltzer continues, “Practice with a friend. Practice with your therapist. Have them be rude. Respond calmly. Respond assertively. Respond clearly. Because in real life, you don’t rise to the moment, you fall to your level of preparation.”

    A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine revealed that an individual’s level of assertiveness can be trained. The strategy of preparation reduced feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.

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    Interrupting a meditation.
    Photo credit Canva

    Stay Calm, Be Assertive, and Practice

    The solutions offered by Meltzer seem to resonate. Several people reveal their own struggles when facing similar predicaments. These are some of their comments:

    “Practice with a therapist? Why didn’t I think of that”

    “You don’t rise to the moment you fall to the level of your preparation. I’m gonna memorize that.”

    “I’m waiting for you to write a book about all your amazing insights”

    “I can handle them but i internalize later n let it ruin my day”

    “The real skill is knowing when to ignore and when to address it. Not everything deserves your energy.”

    “Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength. Just say that to them and if they continue, walk away with a smile.”

    Meltzer advises that the best way to handle rudeness begins with how we respond. Diffusing a situation helps maintain peace of mind. Remaining composed helps control our own reactions. In the end, rehearsing for success allows us to stay confident when difficult situations arise.

  • Love educator shares how awkward flirting can be turned into a romantic superpower
    A couple flirts on the dance floor.Photo credit: Canva

    In a recent TED Talk, love coach Francesca Hogi shared how even your awkward flirting can be a superpower. Sometimes mistaken as off-putting, flirting actually offers a powerful gateway to real human connection.

    By reframing flirting as an act of curiosity, she explains how anyone can kickstart attraction and open the door to lasting love. In an impassioned presentation, Hogi demystifies flirting and explains why building attraction matters.

    Flirting can be a superpower

    Hogi explains that for 12 years she’s been helping people fall in love as both a matchmaker and a coach. “As a love professional, I can assure you that many dating problems can be solved with flirting,” Hogi says. “If you’re single, it helps you to connect and fall in love. If you’re partnered, it helps you to reignite or maintain the spark of chemistry that brought you together in the first place.”

    Many might have concerns about their ability to flirt. Will they be received well, or are they even doing it right? Hogi explains, “I’ve got good news for the introverts out there. You don’t have to be extroverted to be a magnet for connection. In fact, I believe that introverts have a secret advantage when it comes to flirting because your efforts at being more open feel more genuinely inspired by another person and therefore special.”

    She shares that flirting can give you confidence and courage. She also acknowledges that feeling awkward is normal. “Confidence with flirting comes from knowing yourself, your intentions, reading the room, discerning other people’s reactions, and adapting accordingly,” she says. “Sometimes it’s going to be awkward, sometimes it’s going to be embarrassing, and that’s okay.”

    flirtation, connection, mental health, good vibes, sexuality
    A couple enjoys flirting.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Healthy flirting

    “Flirting gives you more agency over human connection,” says Hogi.

    She then describes the two foundational principles of healthy flirting. The first is presence: being in the moment and avoiding distractions like a phone or the surrounding environment. The second is enthusiasm. Getting the right vibe while being enthusiastic goes a long way toward mastering the art of flirting. These principles have a strong effect on other people.

    Hogi explains that expressing positive intentions has a large impact on outcomes:

    “You have the ability to leave other people feeling good for having interacted with you…Even your unspoken appreciation for a shared moment of connection, no matter how brief, can often be felt. Lean into being the version of you who leaves other people with a smile on their face and notice how much more magnetic you become.”

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    A flirtatious interaction.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Hogi inspires the crowd

    People seem quite taken with Hogi’s energy and charisma. Some of the comments expressed admiration for her vibe and flirtatious delivery on stage. Hogi was sharing her own version of flirting as a superpower:

    “Even this presentation feels like shes flirting…especially her laughs”

    “She is such a good public speaker, ten minutes of speech with no filler words whatsoever”

    “Flirting is a way making one feel seen and acknowledged.”

    “Where were you, Francesca, when I needed these words? Like, 40 years ago? Never too late, right?”

    “Had me clapping in the end! She’z good”

    “I feel better about my flirting abilities after watching this now.”

    “She’s good , reading her body language generally teaches me more about flirting than learning it itself”

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    A vintage photo of a couple flirting.
    Photo credit: Canva

    The power behind a flirtatious connection

    Flirting can have a powerful effect on both the initiator and the person on the receiving end. It isn’t necessarily about romance or sex. It helps build and strengthen relationships in everyday life.

    A 2025 study on ResearchGate analyzed where and how people flirt. The results suggested that people who flirt can improve with practice. The best flirting involved humor, confidence, and social skills. A 2026 study on ScienceDirect found that flirting can be an effective way for people to express their personality and individual differences. While personality traits and sex were linked to how often and how skillfully people flirted, these influences had only modest effects on overall outcomes.

    Hogi suggests flirting requires nuance and a little bit of courage. Practice prepares you for any occasion. “Attentiveness, compliments, playfulness—there’s nothing complicated about these actions, yet they have the potential to spark and sustain connection over time,” she says. “That’s a true superpower we can all tap into.”

    Hogi and the research suggest flirting isn’t just a trivial social game. It’s a meaningful way to express personality, build connections, and boost self-confidence. Flirting isn’t shallow. It doesn’t need to involve manipulation or outcome-obsessed action. These small everyday acts of courage embolden human connection and reveal individual superpowers in all of us.

  • Retired U.S. Navy chief explains how to end discipline anxiety with wholesome ‘butler’ trick
    (LEFT) A cluttered closet. (RIGHT) Chase Hughes.Photo credit: Canva and YouTube

    During an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, retired U.S. Navy chief Chase Hughes explained how to end discipline anxiety. Using a simple perspective shift, often referred to as the “butler” trick, he describes a method of “prioritizing the needs of our future self.”

    Hughes shares that understanding discipline is one of the fastest ways to change everything in our lives. We might wish discipline would arrive like a lightning bolt of motivation. However, Hughes suggests the solution lies in our relationship with discipline and the perspective we take on it, which ultimately relieves our anxiety.

    End discipline anxiety

    Hughes begins by explaining the importance of understanding what discipline actually is: “I define discipline as your ability to prioritize the needs of your future self ahead of your present self.” He goes on to explain that a simple reframing can change the link between discipline and anxiety.

    “If I can start looking backwards with gratitude, [it] is the fastest way to make discipline dopamine-generating,” Hughes says. “I want past-tense me to be a source of dopamine for present-tense me. Cause most of us look back with regret. ‘I shouldn’t have drank that much. I shouldn’t have mouthed off at the family reunion. You know whatever it is, I shouldn’t have overslept.’”

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    A butler ready to be of service.
    Photo credit: Canva

    The butler trick for discipline

    Instead, it’s possible to prioritize long-term endeavors over short-term desires. In the full YouTube video of the interview, Hughes describes the butler trick as a way of treating your future self as someone you can serve today, just like a butler. The concept of looking forward with concerned awareness and backward with gratitude can help release the connection between anxiety and discipline. This reframing and release of negativity help people better motivate themselves and manage their present circumstances.

    A 2025 study in SAGE Journals found that future self-orientation directly impacts discipline-related outcomes. This trick can lead to meaningful behavior change. By reframing our relationship with the past, we directly affect our relationship with discipline and procrastination. A 2023 study published by Springer Nature found that procrastination and self-control significantly influence attitudes toward time. How someone relates to time ultimately shapes whether discipline feels easy or overwhelming.

    Butler trick, discipline, time management, consistency, habit loops
    A woman realizes she is late.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Thoughts on the butler trick

    Viewers seemed universally impressed by the solution Hughes offers in the butler trick for discipline. Here are some of their thoughts:

    “I love it when Past Me has done something great to support Future Me. Sometimes it’s all I got, but it’s enough.”

    “This is the best advice on discipline I’ve ever heard in my life”

    “He’s giving you the blueprint for ultimate self care”

    “Be methodically organized and make your life less complicated and more suitable to your needs.”

    “I’ve heard everything can be looked at as a learning opportunity. Selfless gratitude + learning seems like a strong combo.”

    “Be my own butler. Love this!”

    self-discipline, self-mastery, perseverance, determination, butler trick
    Self-discipline is defined as controlling one’s own desires.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Discipline changes everything

    Hughes underscores the value discipline has in changing our lives:

    “Discipline is kind of the gateway drug to everything else in authority, and it’s the gateway to composure. But getting your discipline modified is one of the fastest ways to make everything else change.”

    Discipline can mistakenly be associated with punishment and rigid routine management. With Hughes’ framing, it might be better described as stewardship. Instead of battling the present, you can serve the future. The butler trick can help us all be more thoughtful toward the person we are becoming.

    You can watch the full interview with Chase Hughes on The Diary of a CEO podcast below:

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