The GOOD 100: Gay Marriage
- Posted by: Patrick James
- on October 8, 2009 at 9:00 am
Going to the Chapel, Eventually
This was a banner year for advocates of same-sex marriage. Although the state supreme court upheld last year’s high-profile vote in California on Proposition 8, which defined marriage as being between a man and a woman, Iowa, Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont all joined the company of Massachusetts and Connecticut by legalizing the practice of same-sex wedlock, as did the nation of Sweden (six other countries—Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, and Spain—had already legalized it). Even in California, where Proposition 8 narrowly passed, there was more public support for gay marriage than at any other time in history.
What’s often lost in the banter about same-sex marriage is the effect the institution could have on children. That is, on gay children. Traditionally, a homosexual young person is told—whether explicitly or tacitly, by means of our societal mechanisms—that he or she will have no spouse, no children, and no chance to enter into a lifelong social contract with another person. The result is a relegation to isolation and, as the political commentator Andrew Sullivan wrote earlier this year, “That’s a brutal psychic wound that leads to all sorts of subsequent problems and pathologies.”
What those who decry gay marriage don’t realize (or perhaps they do) is that in arguing against it, they propagate the falsehood that there’s an inherent schism between homosexuality and virtue, thereby furthering the tired narrative of gay culture as defined by promiscuity and vice. On the flip side, in a world that celebrates the institution, the perceptive distance between being gay and virtuous collapses, and a young person can look forward to a life of commitment, father- or motherhood, and inclusion in the shared experience that binds us as a people.
DISCUSSION: 8 Comments
Homosexuality is disgusting.
Bigotry is despicable, and you have chosen your path.
The last paragraph of this article is great. It is sadly the concept so many are willingly blind to. Stubborn in their defiance, so many will not allow acceptance which ironically would solve the perceived issues of homosexuality. Gay is literally the name Black in regards to civil injustice. With the power to be progressive and compassionate, I hope this generation can take the opportunity to embrace a positive future before making the same mistakes of the complicated history of segregation.
I’m in complete agreement about the last paragraph. Well put, Patrick.
It’s a though discussion. I’m not one to say what can happen in people’s bedrooms. That’s your own business. However, opening up marriage rights to homosexual couples could be a proverbial Pandora’s Box.Who’s to say pedophiles or incest-ors shouldn’t be able to marry the ones they love? I’m not trying to equate gays to those groups. However, I would believe there’s a general consensus that those lifestyles are criminal, perversions and/or sickening—but they’re out there. Much like homosexuals were fifty years ago, before they held marches on Washington and openly gay individuals at some of the highest levels of federal government. Who’s to say today’s taboo groups won’t march? Won’t have their Barney Frank? Won’t eventually convince a court that their love is equal to everyone else’s? Where would it stop? Who would we be ones to say “no?” The same type individuals that LGBT groups label as today’s bigots?It’s just a slippery slope looking forward. I think I’ve obviously labeled myself someone who doesn’t advocate gay-marriage. But I’m more of a proponent of the Constitution and the rights of the states to pass whatever laws they seem fit (although preferably by the citizens rather than judges). Oh well, I guess we’ll see how it goes.
Finally….someone touched on it. I don’t think most people can fathom the utter despair that the thought of a life spent alone in the eyes of most people and without a formal social and legal contract can be. I guess in the heterosexual culture it is so easy to get a quickie marriage, go to the justice of the peace or have a divorce…that one takes it for granted. You have even begun a trend of “starter marriages”. Just imagine waking up one day and realizing that you if you died, you might not be able to control who was able to have custody of your children, or oversee you estate, or even keep your home. These and so many other things are painstakingly and meticulously planned by attorneys who must anticipate numerous scenarios in the event of the demise of a partner because we lack basic legal protections. But then…..if you compare me to a pedophile..or someone who commits incest….and you believe that we should still maintain a nation based on a two hundred + yr old document verbatim (which is your right and I’m not judging you) I guess I’m still 3/5 ths of a person. And just for the record…even a pedophile can get married…you can commit incest and marry as long as the relation is no closer than second cousins….someone sat and legislated this.
@computertheque Please don’t do that. It might be trendy to equate the plight of GLBT communities with the persistent struggle of Blacks in the Americas, but thoughtful examination of these battles certainly reveal more differences than similarities. Making this pairing is risky and might ultimately alienate a group of people who supported Proposition 8 in California. Among other topics, Blacks’ perceptions of (de)humanization might rest in a cultural memory of being bred for work purposes; being separated from family members who were sold across state lines; being disallowed voting rights because they were only counted as 3/5 of a human; being prevented from learning or purchasing a home even if they had the appropriate funds because of their race. GLBT communities are likely approaching their battle with more priveledge and agency than Blacks amassed just prior to their movement. Let’s not confuse struggles here. Future strategies to advance the legalization of same sex marriage should avoid using other historically disadvantaged groups as vehicles for this particular issue. Don’t you think it deserves a fight of its own?
People don’t choose to be gay. Do you remember making a choice? I don’t.All the gay people I’ve met have been pretty good people who want what we all want – to be loved and to have a good life.You can’t catch homosexuality so there is no reason for them to be discriminated against.Is gay marriage going to harm you? Same question on adoption.They’re people and deserve these rights