Everybody knows someone who is very likable. You know the type, they put people at ease, make people feel seen, and never come across as fake. Many people believe that being likable comes from natural, unteachable traits that few people have — the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented.
But the truth is that being likable is more related to emotional intelligence and isn’t simply a matter of handing out compliments and making a concerted effort to be likable.
There is something inherent in likable people that can be learned and practiced, Lorriane K. Lee, CEO of Rise Learning Solutions discovered. They consistently show genuine interest and curiosity in other people through small, everyday habits that show respect for the person they’re talking to.
They are genuine
There are traits that likable people exhibit including remembering the small stuff. For instance, if a colleague mentioned that their father was having a medical procedure done, the likable person inquires after their father and expresses concern and interest.
What this signals to the person they are talking to is that they mattered enough to be remembered.
Another trait of very likable people is that they don’t pick and choose who to talk to. They talk to everyone from the CEO to the intern.
In doing this, they treat every message they get as worthy of their attention, which signals respect. People remember how you make them feel, and being ignored never makes someone feel good. This trait extends to small talk such as a brief hallway chat or a quick conversation before a meeting,
Highly likable people treat these interactions as meaningful, not optional. They’re present, even during quick exchanges. And over time, those moments build stronger relationships.
They give their full attention
They also are present and really listen to what is being said to them. This is a big advantage as many people don’t actively listen because they’re so focused on what they’re going to say next that they don’t hear what’s being said.
A simple way to avoid this mistake is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening and a clarification question shows that not only are you listening, but also that you care about what they’re saying.
Likable people also put their phones down and focus on the person or people they are with. They are not obsessively checking messages, playing games or managing their fantasy football team.
They don’t seek attention
No one likes the person who is desperate for attention. A big, extroverted personality isn’t the key to being likable. Being friendly and considerate goes a lot farther than a extroverted personality. When you speak clearly and with confidence, you will find that people are more amenable than they would be if you started bragging about how important you are.
The fact is that likable people know who they are. They are confident and comfortable in their own skin because they concentrate on what makes them happy, which makes the a genuine and more interesting person.
Likable people are important to the dynamic of an office or even a group of friends. They promote harmony, bring out the best in people around them and appear to be having more fun than everyone else.
