To be annoyed at a rock concert is to be human. If you can walk out of a venue filled with hundreds or thousands of fans—many of whom have been tossing back drinks for three hours—without a gripe or two during the car ride home, you’ve accomplished something special. Most of us soak in live music as a form of escapism, so music-crowd clichés can be particularly irritating. But we have to share these spaces with each other like polite and responsible adults, so it’s important to shine a light on our worst tendencies. How else can we grow?
In that light, let’s examine the eight most irritating stock characters at concerts, with some hopefully helpful reminders on how to avoid becoming them. Perhaps, with a bit of self-reflection, we can achieve less “Play ‘Free Bird!’” and more pure freedom.
The Oblivious Tall Person
No one should be penalized for their height. If you happen to be 6’ 5″ and claim a killer spot at a standing-room show, you shouldn’t have to feel bad about that. But if you’re tall enough to be in the NBA, it’s important to keep that fact in mind, especially if a short person happens to be in your area. General-admission crowds often have a chaotic, lawless vibe—let’s be courteous and help each other out where we can.
The Bulldozer
In that vein, let’s consider this next annoying GA-crowd stereotype: the person who shows up shortly before show time and tries to bulldoze their way to the front. Not cool! Again, we all know that standing-room shows ebb and flow, but some people do arrive hours early just to claim a primo piece of real estate. Don’t negate all their hard work. Just follow the tide and grab a reasonable spot.
The Parter of the Seas
There are numerous reasons why you might abandon your perfect spot at a GA show, from bathroom breaks to emergency phone calls. And that’s always a painful moment, particularly if you put in some sweat in your pursuit. But if you leave, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back. A friend might save your space, and most people show each other grace in that situation, but don’t be the person who leaves every 10 minutes and then elbows your way back—or, equally frustrating, the person who’s constantly scouting for a better view. We’re all in this together.
The Cell-Phone Obsessive
Here’s the obvious one: the person who spends the entire evening on their phone. I’m not talking about someone who was clearly brought to the show against their will, scrolling social media out of boredom. If they don’t want to be there, it’s not fair to judge. Plus, maybe they’re feeling unwell and just need to decompress. I’m talking about the people who film or take photos constantly throughout the show—often with their hands above their heads, blocking the view of the people behind them. Most of us like to snap a couple digital mementos, but everything’s best in moderation, right? Maybe film one song and savor the rest of the show through your eyeballs.
The Attention-Seeker
Most of us have had at least one show ruined by this person. There are a few varieties: the one who sings way too loudly (and typically out of tune), the one who dances way too close to you, the one who loves to add running commentary like a DVD extra. (We know—this is the 12th time you’ve seen the band, and that was the best the song has ever sounded.) We all want to have fun, and that fun manifests itself in different ways. But remember that we’re here to experience the band, not you.
The Intoxicated Loudmouth
Enjoy your beer! Enjoy a few! But please have a little self-awareness about your own drunk behavior. Don’t act creepy to anyone. Don’t aggressively air-drum on the seat of the person in front of you. And if you’re that person’s friend, keep an eye out—both for their sake and everyone else’s.
The Relentless Noisemaker/Premature Screamer
We all love the band. That’s probably why we bought tickets. We all want to show our appreciation, and screaming at a rock show is part of the deal—we’re not at the opera. But you don’t have to reach dog-whistle frequencies. You don’t have to scream directly in the ears of the people around you. And you definitely don’t have to scream every time a person walks on stage—are you really “woo”ing the drum tech? We’re all excited, but the show hasn’t even started! Let’s save our screams and use them judiciously.
The Band-splainer
Dude, we get it: You’ve seen the band more times than the rest of us. No one’s impressed. Instead of gloating, why not strike up a friendly conversation about the band that doesn’t involve spouting off statistics? Everyone at the show has at least one thing in common, so it’s a perfect time to make a genuine human connection.
