A euphemism round-up.

While on a recent first date with a fellow dog person, I made a confession. If my dog were sick and dying, and—through some devil’s bargain—I could save his life by having some shady goons kill some other guy I don’t know, I’d totally do it. Yes, as a first-date ice-breaker, I confessed to a penchant for hypothetical assassination. How romantic!


Of course, I didn’t actually use the word “assassination,” and not because such a preposterous, pet-propelled murder wouldn’t have the political motivation that is the lifeblood (so to speak) of true assassination. No, I was embarrassed by my weird admission and started euphemizing, which gives me something in common with actual governments, groups, and individuals who plot and carry out assassinations in the real world that exists somewhere beyond my silly little sheltered existence. The world of assassination is a quagmire of euphemism and doublespeak, a fact brought out by a New York Times kerfuffle over whether “targeting killing” or “assassination” was the correct term for the U.S.-government-ordered murder (or is that, “killing”?) of a suspected terrorist.

So here’s a look at some of the most covert, blatant, wordy, and weird terms for assassinations and contract hits, a blurry distinction explored by American Dialect Society (ADS) member Victor Steinbok here. My apologies to the dozens of terms I’ve left out, such as “extrajudicial execution,” “hit,” “erase,” “remove,” “waste,” “whack,” “rub out,” “take out,” “bump off,” “wet work,” and “salvage”—a Filipino term that takes the euphemistic cake.

assassination

First things first, and that means “assassination” itself. The first meaning of “assassin” will do little to repair the current state of Christian-Muslim relations: As the Oxford English Dictionary describes, the term comes from an Arabic word for “hashish-eater” and in English referred to “Certain Muslim fanatics in the time of the Crusades, who were sent forth by their sheikh, the ‘Old Man of the Mountains,’ to murder the Christian leaders.” Here’s a rather verbose use from 1860: “The assassins, who are otherwise called the People of the Man of the Mountain, before they attacked an enemy, would intoxicate themselves with a powder made of hemp-leaves, out of which they prepared an inebriating electuary, called hashish.” Soon after the original sense appeared, it was being used more broadly for any killer, especially of someone in the public eye. The first recorded use of “assassination” comes, appropriately, from the tragedy MacBeth: “If th’ Assassination Could trammell vp the Consequence, and catch With his surcease, Successe.”

terminate with extreme prejudice

Many people know this term from Apocalypse Now, when Harrison Ford’s character Col. Lucas told Martin Sheen’s Capt. Willard, “When you find the Colonel (Kurtz), infiltrate his team by whatever means available and terminate the Colonel’s command.” Another character clarified: “Terminate…with extreme prejudice,” ordering the black ops assassination of Colonel Kurtz, who had gone off the grid, off the reservation, and off his nut as well. The OED traces the expression back to and this use: “His status as a double agent was reportedly confirmed by the Central Intelligence Agency, which..suggested that he either be isolated or ‘terminated with extreme prejudice’.” In a world of euphemism, you have to like the honesty. Just in case “terminate” isn’t clear enough, “with extreme prejudice” makes sure even the densest hitman knows he’s not delivering flowers.

total and complete immobilization

Here’s another four-word pile-up that ADS member Garson O’Toole alerted me to, used here in 1978 from the Sarasota Journal: “The Nixon administration plot for the ‘total and complete immobilization’ of one unidentified Panamanian official in January and February 1973 was never carried out…” The article eventually makes this meaning clear: “…although the assassination idea was dropped, other devious efforts to pressure Panama into cracking down on drug traffickers were put into effect.”

disappear

Since at least 1969, this magician’s favorite has been used in a way this OED cite makes explicit: “There are never any witnesses of a killing… The families of many who disappear prefer not to take the matter to the authorities.” It is also possible, grammatically, to “disappear” someone, as in this 1987 quote: “Our two Nicaraguan doctors were disappeared, one right after the other.” This is very reminiscent of “liquidate,” a Russian contribution to English first found in 1924: “In this way the ‘Labor Opposition’, the ‘Workers Pravda’, and a few other recalcitrant groups were all ‘liquidated’.“

targeted killing

This is the synonym that caused such a hubbub in The New York Times when it appeared here in a story by Scott Shane: “The Obama administration has taken the extraordinary step of authorizing the targeted killing of an American citizen, the radical Muslim cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, who is believed to have shifted from encouraging attacks on the United States to directly participating in them…” The term is often used to describe the work done by the killing machines known as drones. While “targeting killing” is straightforward—it isn’t as evasive as calling a pet a “furkid” or a mutt an “All-American”— it does feel like a dodge of “assassination” to me. An assassination by any other name is still an assassination, and we might as well say so.

(Thanks much to my word-loving cohorts on the American Dialect Society listserv, especially Joel S. Berson, Gerald Leonard Cohen, Don Goncharoff, Bill Mullins, and Dave Wilton.)

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


Explore More Articles Stories

Articles

Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away

Articles

14 images of badass women who destroyed stereotypes and inspired future generations

Articles

Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

Articles

11 hilarious posts describe the everyday struggles of being a woman