How Reddit Became The Internet’s Therapist

Users have been confessing their darkest secrets and deepest pains on the controversial website for years—now, they’re offering emotional support

Arielle Pardes

Dec 29, 2016

By Arielle Pardes

December 29, 2016

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Two years ago, Max Stolfe was in a dark place. He had just transferred to a new college in New York, and he was struggling to keep up with the workload. He had, by his own account, one friend. After years in and out of therapy, he didn’t have much to show for it, and no one to turn to with his hopelessness. So he did the only thing he could think to do: He posted on Reddit.

“I’m not sure if this is a rant or a cry for help,” he wrote, explaining that he felt like “no one really cares about me,” and “I don’t know what to do.”

Over 2,000 miles away, in Canada, Ryan Stroeder logged onto Reddit. Stroeder barely knew how to use the site—he had, until that point, only used Reddit a few times to comment on threads about motorcycle repairs—but when he saw Stolfe’s post on his home page, he knew he couldn’t ignore it.

“It had been sitting there for like 12 hours, which is an eternity in internet time,” Stroeder says. “No one had given this guy any advice.” And so, he wrote back, as if simply to say, ‘I’m here for you’:

“Ouch. Sounds like you’re having a tough time max. That sucks. I’ve been there, so I kinda know what you’re talking about. I’ve been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It’s no bueno. I know.
Rule numero uno – There are no more zero days. What’s a zero day? A zero day is when you don’t do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I’m not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didn’t do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero.”

The internet has long been a place to unload our problems and confess our darkest secrets—and those admissions haven’t always been positive. Reddit, in particular, has earned a controversial reputation as the birthplace of threads like r/thefappening, devoted to 2014’s infamous leaked celebrity nudes, and r/thedonald, which spawned the now-closed subreddit that recently drove an armed conspiracy theorist to investigate the so-called Pizzagate rumors. But increasingly, online communities are taking the place of IRL therapists for people to divulge and deal with their mental health. Even the darkest places, like Reddit, can surprise you with its displays of humanity.

On Reddit, groups like r/mentalhealth provide spaces to share garden-variety psychological problems; r/anxiety responds in real time to anxiety attacks; r/gettingoverit offers support for trauma, depression, and doubt. There are groups for eating disorders, for suicidal thoughts, and for people who are simply feeling stuck—made up of thousands of regular users who respond to queries in real time, with real support.

“Peer support can be very effective,” said Dr. John Torous, the co-director of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center Digital Psychiatry Program, which researches the intersection of technology and mental health solutions. Torous says the most effective mental health apps all have some kind of human element. In other words, technology can make mental health care more accessible, but it isn’t perfect. “I think the trick is that, sometimes, it doesn’t have the structure or the certainty of professional help.”

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]His cry for help had been sitting there for like 12 hours, which is an eternity in internet time.[/quote]

Still, the DIY approach has its benefits: Research has shown that young people, in particular, are reluctant to seek professional help. Reddit therapy, on the other hand, is free, mostly anonymous, and always at one’s fingertips.

“We know that right now, less than 50 percent of individuals with mental illness are receiving treatment for their mental illness,” said Adam Haim, the technology lead at the National Institute of Mental Health. “If you look at online communities, there’s definitely an opportunity to identify signals of concern”—changes in language that may indicate a manic episode or a suicide threat, for example—“and then triage very quickly.”

Reddit, in particular, seems promising. Last year, when the site turned 10 years old, there were close to 73 million posts and 82 billion page views, along with millions of users who are there to act as a safety net when someone posts a cry for help. One study, presented at the Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence’s annual conference on blogs and social media, found that comments in subreddits, like r/depression and r/mentalhealth, were “surprisingly high quality” and provided more emotional support and prescriptive advice than both Twitter and Facebook. The researchers, from Georgia Institute of Technology’s School of Interactive Computing and Arizona State University’s Department of Computer Science, concluded that Reddit can “(fulfill) unique information and social needs of a cohort challenged with a stigmatic health concern.”

[quote position=”right” is_quote=”true”]There’s something incredible about the internet being able to help people, but I guess to me, it still seems uncharted.[/quote]

Like others I spoke with, Stolfe says he turned to Reddit because he didn’t want to burden his friends or family. Plus, he wasn’t sure if he was just going through a rough patch or if he was struggling with something more serious, like depression. “Looking back at it,” he says, “writing that post was the first indication that I couldn’t handle (my problems) by myself anymore.”

Subreddits like r/suicidewatch are full of posts like this: “I really think I should tell someone I want to kill myself, but I have no one to talk to … This post would actually be the first time I’ve told anyone I want to kill myself.” Because people are more likely to divulge sensitive information in online support groups than in IRL ones, spaces like Reddit can actually be the first step in getting someone help.

Erin, who asked that we not use her last name, started posting on r/suicidewatch after struggling with depression and suicidal feelings. “When I came here, I wasn’t looking for help or someone to tell me how to fix things,” she told me. “Instead I needed to be heard. I needed to be able to say that I wasn’t ok and that I didn’t know any way to be okay. Someone read my post and they didn’t try to fix me.”

“Reddit is a terrible place to be doing any kind of crisis intervention,” said Erin, who is now a moderator for r/SuicideWatch, r/depression, and several other mental health-related subreddits. Since most redditors aren’t psychologists, replies on desperate posts can be a grab bag of consolation, trolling, and prescriptive advice. Sometimes, she told me, people will post well-intentioned replies—writing things like, “It gets better,” or “You should try X”—that can end up doing more harm than good.

Moderators have tried to mitigate these replies with guidelines. On r/suicidewatch, for example, there’s a sidebar that states the rules: no judgment, no abuse, no trolling, and most importantly, no diagnoses:

“It’s fine to share what worked for you, but DO NOT advocate for or against any specific type of therapy, self-help strategy, or medication, especially street drugs or alcohol, and DO NOT diagnose people.”

Stroeder, whose reply to Stolfe’s post has spawned an entirely new subreddit, Non-Zero Days, for people who are feeling stuck in a rut, says he still receives messages every day from people who read his original exchange with Stolfe. But he doesn’t see himself as some kind of messiah or as someone who is particularly qualified to give advice.

“It’s not about me telling you how to live,” he said. “It’s just, ‘Hey, here’s something that works for me and if you want, (you can) interpret it in your own personal way and use it as a tool to improve your own life.’”

Since posting on Reddit two years ago, Stolfe started going to therapy. He’s also been opening up more to his friends and family IRL. Now, when something is bothering him and he tells someone close to him, he doesn’t feel as if he’s burdening that person. He says he owes some of that to that singular Reddit post, which reassured him that he wasn’t alone or overreacting to his feelings.

“There’s something incredible about the internet being able to help people, but I guess to me, it still seems uncharted,” he says. “I really appreciate what that post did for me and what the site’s community said to me. People reach out to me even now about it, but (now) I want to turn to someone with professional expertise.”

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Photo credit: Canva – A woman intensely exercises, left, and a morning stretch, right.

Care, Health

More women are rejecting ‘optimization culture’ for realistic wellness plans

Feel great and be happy.

Mark Wales

5/16/2026

Being fit used to mean getting enough sleep, drinking more water, and moving your body, perhaps in a daily walk. With the explosion of social media and digital self-help trends, finding an acceptable level of wellness can feel like stepping into a full-time job with daily performance reviews.

For many women, what started as self-care has slowly become another exhausting form of self-optimization. And increasingly, they’re pretty much done with it. According to Women’s Business Daily, one of the biggest wellness shifts happening right now is a move away from extreme routines. Women want habits that actually fit into real life.

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Wellness feels like a full-time job

Instead of chasing perfection, more women are choosing what can be described as a more realistic approach to wellness, incorporating sustainable routines built around balance and emotional well-being rather than climbing a never-ending ladder of constant improvement.

The shift comes after a solid decade of what many refer to online as “optimization culture.” This exhausting idea assumes that every part of life needs to be carefully measured, improved, and optimized.

Experts believe this mindset is not only making people miserable; it’s unsustainable.

An exhausting routine.
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A backlash against the “always improve yourself” culture

A recent article in Psychology Today found that “wellnessmaxxing” trends turn self-care into another form of anxiety. This is especially true when routines become so demanding that people feel more guilt than relief. As creators post TikToks showing themselves “maxing out” in some kind of self-congratulation, they spread unhelpful expectations that no longer promote self-care.

Verywell Health explains that these influencers broadcast an all-consuming performance metric. People now face a painful realization that they can never do enough. It’s hard to miss the irony that wellness has begun to feel unhealthy.

Women are increasingly embracing low-pressure routines instead of overly aspirational ones. Think walks instead of cross-training, and a morning meditation instead of a week-long stay at a Tibetan monastery. It’s okay to just eat more vegetables instead of a perfectly balanced daily nutrition plan of 150 grams of protein, wheatgrass smoothies, and specifically rated pH-balanced alkaline water.

After all the extreme exercises, self-help books, and sophisticated meal plans, it’s time to get back to basics. Here’s one version of a realistic plan: drink some water, get outside, and try to sleep a little better.

A casual walk with a dog.
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Getting back to the basics

A beauty editor writing for Who What Wear documented her attempt to follow a social-media-inspired wellness reset. With all the expensive and complicated habits she hoped would unlock the “incredibly high-functioning, ultra-productive version” of herself, she came away understanding that she should stick with the basics.

Modern life already asks women to juggle careers, caregiving, appearance standards, finances, and relationships. Somewhere along the journey, wellness became just one more category to add to the pile.

Maintaining a perfect life balance.
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Women are choosing simple, sustainable routines

Finding realistic wellness is a trend that reflects a growing desire for community-centered wellness rather than isolated self-improvement. Instead of wellness looking like a solo pursuit for an achievement award, many women are leaning toward connection: walking groups, shared meals, accountability with friends, and being honest about feeling burned out on all of it.

The Times reports that people feel walking groups are less intimidating and more emotionally supportive. People don’t just want fitness; they want to belong to something.

A 2025 study in Frontiers in Psychology focused on the benefits of women finding social support groups. Programs that incorporated women’s preferences into their daily lives were more likely to be enjoyed and maintained.

Wellness cultures have told women the answer is to do more: more discipline, more self-reflection, more perfect sleep, more work dedication, more family direction, more effort.

Making life more enjoyable and realistic can help well-being feel easier to maintain. A joyful life is better lived “in” than constantly measured “against” unrealistic expectations.

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Photo credit: MoMo Productions/DigitalVision via Getty Images – Emphasizing the sounds of certain words to young children can help them retain language, not confuse them about speaking properly.

Health, Research

Is baby talk bad? Why ‘parentese’ actually helps babies learn language

Sing-song speech can support early language growth.

Good Partner

5/15/2026

Karen Stollznow

Many parents have heard the warning: Don’t use baby talk with babies and toddlers. Instead, caregivers are often encouraged to speak properly and use adultlike language, out of concern that simplified speech could confuse children or delay language development.

But my research, which I highlighted in in my new book, “Beyond Words,” suggests the opposite is true. The sing-song voice many adults instinctively use with infants, sometimes called “baby talk” but more accurately known as “parentese” or infant-directed speech, actually helps children learn language.

Far from confusing babies, exaggerating phrases like “Loooook at the doggie!” capture their attention, help them detect patterns in speech and strengthen social bonding.

And the funny mistakes children make along the way, such as saying “goed,” instead of “went,” or “mouses” instead of “mice,” are not signs that children are learning language incorrectly. They are evidence that children are actively working out the rules of language for themselves.

Speaking ‘parentese’ to a child doesn’t involve nonsense words. BjelicaS/E+ via Getty Images

What parentese really is

When many people think of baby talk, they imagine nonsense phrases like “goo goo ga ga” or made-up words like “num nums.” But that’s not what linguists and developmental psychologists mean by parentese.

Parentese uses real words and grammatically correct sentences, but with exaggerated intonation, a higher pitch, stretched-out vowels and a slower rhythm. Think of the way a caregiver might naturally say: “Hi, baaaaby! Are you huuungry?”

There is little evidence that occasional playful nonsense words harm children’s language development. But studies suggest that parentese in particular helps babies pay attention to speech, recognize patterns and engage socially.

Adults across cultures tend to speak this way to infants instinctively. Even people who swear they never use baby talk often slip into it around babies.

Researchers have found that infants actually prefer listening to parentese over regular adult speech. The exaggerated sounds and slower pacing make language easier to process. Babies are better able to pick out individual sounds, notice word boundaries and recognize patterns. In other words, parentese helps tune babies into language.

It also strengthens emotional connection. Language learning does not happen in isolation. Babies learn through warm, responsive interaction with caregivers during feeding, play, bath time and everyday routines.

Interestingly, humans are not the only ones who respond to this style of communication. Studies have even shown that cats react more positively when people use a baby-talk voice with them.

Babies are not passive learners

Children do not learn language simply by copying adults word for word. They actively test hypotheses about how language works. That is why toddlers make predictable and surprisingly logical mistakes.

One common example is overgeneralization. A child learns that people form the past tense of many verbs by adding “-ed,” so they produce forms like “goed,” “eated” or “comed.”

These are not random errors. In fact, they show that the child has understood a grammatical rule and is trying to apply it consistently. The problem is simply that English is full of irregular exceptions. The same thing happens with plurals. Children may say “foots” instead of “feet” or “mouses” instead of “mice.” Again, the logic behind these errors is sound.

Linguists sometimes say that children are little scientists, constantly testing patterns and revising their understanding as they receive more input from the world around them.

Why toddlers call everything a ‘dog’

Young children also make predictable mistakes with meaning.

A toddler might learn the word “dog” and then use it for every four-legged animal they encounter. Linguists call this overextension. On the flip side, some children use words too narrowly. A child may use “dog” only for the family pet and not recognize that other dogs belong in the same category. Linguists call this tendency underextension.

These mistakes reveal how children organize and categorize the world around them. They are gradually mapping words onto objects, people and experiences.

Pronouns are another tricky area. Small children often confuse “me” and “you” because these words constantly shift depending on who is speaking. If a parent says, “I’ll pick you up,” the child hears themselves called “you.” But when they try to repeat the sentence, they may not yet understand that the labels switch from speaker to speaker.

This is why toddlers sometimes say things that sound unintentionally cute or confusing. But beneath the confusion is a sophisticated learning process.

Even the Cookie Monster gets it wrong

Children’s speech errors are so recognizable that they often appear in popular culture. Sesame Street’s character Cookie Monster famously says things like “Me want cookie,” while Elmo often refers to himself in the third person: “Elmo wants this.” These speech patterns mirror real stages of child language development. Young children commonly confuse pronouns or refer to themselves by name before mastering forms like “I,” “me” and “mine.”

Despite occasional complaints from adults, there is no evidence that hearing this kind of speech harms children’s language development. If anything, it reflects the natural experimentation children go through.

The Cookie Monster saying ‘Me want cookie’ won’t teach babies and young kids to speak incorrectly. Brian Killian/WireImage via Getty Images

‘Pasketti’ and ‘wabbit’

Pronunciation develops gradually too. Young children often simplify difficult sounds and groups of consonants. “Spaghetti” becomes “pasketti,” “rabbit” becomes “wabbit” and “yellow” may come out as “lellow.”

Speech-language specialists call these simplifications phonological processes. They are a normal part of development because some sounds are physically harder to produce than others. Sounds such as r, th, sh and ch tend to develop later because they require more precise control of the tongue and mouth.

Most children naturally outgrow these pronunciation patterns as their speech matures. However, persistent difficulties can sometimes signal a speech or language disorder, which may require professional support.

Children don’t learn language by copying adults word for word. They learn through interaction, experimentation and repetition. DrAfter123/DigitalVision Vectors via Getty Images

Mistakes are part of learning

Parents are often under enormous pressure to do everything right, including helping their children learn to speak a language. But children do not learn language by avoiding mistakes. They learn through interaction, experimentation and repetition.

Parentese helps babies focus on speech and engage socially. The funny mistakes toddlers make reveal that they are actively piecing together the complex system of language and are often signs of normal development. Language acquisition is messy, creative and remarkably sophisticated.

Speaking in an exaggerated sing-song voice to a baby is not something parents and caregivers need to feel embarrassed about.

Far from harming language acquisition, it may help lay the foundation for it.

This article originally appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

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Health, Well-being

People who dread working out are trying ‘micro walks,’ and the results feel great

Why doing less actually leads to more.

Mark Wales

5/15/2026

For many people, working out isn’t the hard part. It’s everything that comes with it: the time commitment, the pressure of consistency, and the feeling that only full workouts count.

That all-or-nothing mindset keeps a lot of people from even getting started. This might explain why a small idea has been gaining traction. Instead of setting aside an hour or two to exercise, people are taking “micro walks” instead.

Two women enjoy a quick “micro walk.”
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“Micro walks” are simple and still provide the benefits

A loop around the block in the morning. A quick break between meetings or events on the daily schedule. Perhaps another lap after dinner. These short walks sprinkled throughout the day might seem too simple to matter.

For a growing number of people, the simplicity is what makes it really work. Doing less at a time, but more often, is what’s resonating. The barrier to entry suddenly drops. People don’t need much motivation. Just a few minutes is enough to get started.

The hidden appeal behind shorter walks

The appeal of a “micro walk” for people dreading a workout isn’t necessarily about peak optimization. The benefits come from gaining momentum. For individuals who have spent years feeling like they’re either all-in or completely off track, this offers a third option.

Short periods of exercise fit into the structure of real life instead of competing with it. Finding the time to set aside large blocks of time can be difficult for many people. Breaking movement into smaller increments makes it far more manageable.

In the end, consistency matters more than perfection. Getting daily steps in becomes something achievable rather than overwhelming.

Research shows that shorter walks work

A 2024 study published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B, a scientific journal recognized for its rigorous reviews, investigated the benefits of different walking patterns. The findings revealed that short walking bursts use more energy than longer continuous walks. Breaking up exercise is more impactful than it seems.

Harvard Health Publishing reported that even brief walks can boost energy and counteract the effects of prolonged sitting. Getting moving has significant heart health advantages, and walking is extremely accessible.

Physical exercise boosts overall well-being

Turning short walks into a mental reset can boost a person’s emotional well-being. Physical exercise stimulates the body, yet it also increases inner harmony. A 2025 study published in Springer Nature found that even a 10-minute walk can meaningfully improve mood regulation. Finding the time for a brief walk can lessen symptoms of anxiety.

A 2024 study published in Nature demonstrated that short activity breaks increase cognitive performance and elevate mood. There are immediate emotional advantages to activities like “micro walks,” not just long-term fitness gains.

Science demonstrates that walking has both physical and emotional benefits. The most common barriers are time and motivation. Shifting from big goals to showing up in small, repeatable moments is what actually matters. “Micro walks” turn movement from something people have to make time for into something that becomes part of how they live. It’s another small step toward finding happiness.

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