Three weeks ago, fans of ClickHole, The Onion’s sister site that satirically traffics in click-baiting and emotionally manipulating its readers for, well, clicks, found that their beloved publication was no more. Its social media presence and its homepage had been abruptly hijacked by PatriotHole, an unknown quantity with a powerful and confusing name.

An explanation of the takeover was blasted out across ClickHole’s social media platforms as well as those of The Onion and The A.V. Club.


What the messaging lacked in fundamental comprehension of light and sound, it more than made up for with enthusiasm and righteousness. In the same vein that ClickHole sought to outshame shameless click-bait sites with feel-good stories and misguided empowerment, PatroitHole would take that same Baroque approach, equating right-wing ideology and paranoia with virtue.

Just as the clumsy ClickHole name dispensed with all subtlety in pandering to the BuzzFeed masses, so too does PatriotHole, this time around targeting the Fox News faithful. However, with no warning or prelude, the abrupt launch could easily have been construed as an ad hoc response to … something.

The Comey scandal in the making? Health care? A shift in media? As is the case with The Onion and ClickHole’s straight-faced approach to satire, PatriotHole, aside from the very in-character missive tweeted above, is heavy on content but light on context.

Two days after the PatriotHole brand launched, ClickHole took back its brand and site, relegating PatriotHole to its current home, a tab on Clickhole’s homepage. The whole affair, much like the phenomenon it targets, was disjointed, illogical, and, above all, loud. It was clear from a few minutes on the site that we weren’t going to get any color on what the hell PatriotHole was without talking to the guys who created PatriotHole.

So we called Matt Powers and Jamie Brew, two of the guys who created PatriotHole.

The two were quick to explain that the confusing launch of PatriotHole was, like their satire, methodical and deliberate. According to Powers, ClickHole’s editor in chief, the sudden launch of PatriotHole wasn’t indicative of its ideation, which took place months prior, sometime around Donald Trump’s inauguration.

“So much of the American political climate was in upheaval, and so many things were in flux. There were a lot of scary things happening and a lot of uncertainty, and it coincided with this rise in these fringe conspiracy political sites that one year ago or two years ago were not in the discourse. These are crazy sites that only your uncle’s weird friend shares on Facebook,” he said.

The transition from the comically insignificant fluff championed by ClickHole to the weightier political fare of PatriotHole was revealed by Jamie Brew, ClickHole’s head writer, to be more organic than one may intuit. “Writing in a highly emotional, opinionated point of view is something that ClickHole likes to do, so we already write a bunch of stuff that takes a strong emotional stance that holds things up as heartwarming,” he said.

Substituting “patriotic” for “heartwarming,” PatriotHole was operating off a proven template. In the world of satire, tone trumps all else. It’s the reason The Onion hasn’t just ruled the satirical news space for far longer than it would seem possible, but also the reason no publication has even attempted a respectable run at its title.

Brew continued, “We noticed that there’s a whole different world that also writes in an emotional, strong-stance mode. The switch was pretty natural for us. It was a pretty easy switch to make to celebrate coal and Mike Pence.”

Coal:

Mike Pence:

I asked Powers and Brew if they considered setting the liberal media in their sights as a more clandestine and subversive target, and was surprised to learn that PatriotHole existed as a departure from the liberal media satire they’d been churning out at ClickHole for years.

“I would say that [Clickhole’s] default is writing in the voice of left-leaning sites, articles about social justice wins and body positivity wins,” said Powers. “The internet we have been using is the internet that manipulates your emotions to click on something.”

It’s unlikely that the public will suffer the same confusion in determining the philosophical targets of PatriotHole.

In keeping tabs on the meta affair that is the launch of PatriotHole, it’s both important and difficult to bear in mind that PatriotHole has no political beliefs. Like ClickHole, it exists only generate clicks and sell ads. It validates you so that you share articles and revisit the home page. There is no overarching editorial doctrine. There exist no guiding principles.

“Clickhole exists to get traffic by any means necessary, and it realized that it could achieve that goal by courting the Breitbart/InfoWars groups,” said Powers. “It’s craven Clickhole trying to get clicks.”

Brew continues, “The website Clickhole has no political views. Its only goal is to get clicks however it can.”

As for the release, the plan was always to arrive with bombast, then slink back, suggesting that PatriotHole’s (fictional) management would believe that a splashy debut would suffice in capturing their audience, allowing ClickHole’s (fictional) management to target the next audience it panders to.

Powers explains, “After two day of PatriotHole taking over ClickHole, we reverted back to realizing, in voice, that we could now get clicks from the left and right. Very cynically, we’re playing both sides.”

To that end, the more impressive PatriotHole feat isn’t its ability to mock Breitbart or Infowars, but rather its aping of the tactics, both editorial and managerial, at play in the entire industry of media. The creators’ attention to ephemeral details was such that if you didn’t catch their tactics and note their corresponding intent in near real time, you missed much of the exercise. But that’s also exactly why a project that’s just weeks old is already worthy of a retrospective at the same time it’s still being introduced.

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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