Not everyone has been gifted the gene that allows them to spark up conversations with complete strangers. They stand in front of a group of new people and it seems like they’ve known everyone and been besties forever. Perhaps you’ve always had this skill or learned to attain it over time, navigating each unique social settings with ease.
Many people find the surface level conversation very challenging. It can send a wave of anxiety so uncomfortable that some might avoid these situations all together. There is a simple art that exists which allows chat to come incredibly easy. Utilizing the suggestions below even the most gifted gabber can affirm or possibly improve upon this special skill.
A Reddit user named Blugged Bunny asked the online community, “What is your go-to “small talk’ topic with strangers?” Even though the intention may not have been to help out introverts, many of the suggestions are great for helping out even the most awkward small talker.
It seems one of the most important techniques involves finding ways to allow the other person to talk about themselves. Using questions and statements that are guided by the setting and situation will lead to some of these best ideas.
I had a friend who carried around a David Hasselhoff Baywatch collectors card. Baywatch was the biggest show on television pulling in about a billion viewers weekly when at it’s peak. He’d just walk right up to a group of people acting like he was a detective and say, “Have you seen this man?” Absolutely silly, but it always seemed to spark up a conversation that he could take anywhere. The anywhere is what these topics below can help you do.
Here are 14 of the top go-to small talk topics from the Reddit thread.
1.
“Make an observation. Literally anything. It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be. It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention. People bullshit about the weather all the time. Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask. … Let them do the talking. People love talking about themselves. You learn some light-hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too. It works in literally any situation. From an elevator ride to a first date. It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable.” — arrocknroll.
2.
“Have you ever tried Ayahuasca?” — KarmicBreath
A perhaps unexpected question that gave space for an interesting response from Sinsaraly:
“Love this. My friend once spent a few hours in a car with poet Allen Ginsberg. The very first thing he said to her was “what drugs do you do?”
3.
“The weather is a good one. everyone shares it. I’m a guy and i do not give one shit about professional sports or cars and it’s like a social disability.” — Mr_Mojo_Risin
4.
Hobbies. “Pretty much everyone has something they’re either super passionate about or really rather good at, so a conversation about hobbies pretty much always moves from ‘small talk’ to ‘genuine interest’ pretty damn fast.” — Trashpanda692
5.
“Something in our environment that we can both relate to. You have to make it easy for them to give a response. Mild humour usually works as it is light-hearted and unthreatening.” — ScallywagsTV2
6.
“Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it.” — I_Can_See_The_Music
7.
“I try to think of random things. Like a favorite animal or star, talking about something in the room. Usually is stupid dad jokes.” — UncreativeGlory
8.
“I try to come up with questions regarding the situations we are in. Like, ‘Hey you know any good place around here to get a decent meal?”‘ — Chromerix
9.
“Food. People typically love food. I mention I’m new/newer to an area. And ask them what they like, where they eat out. Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks.” — TheProfWife
10.
“If it’s a woman, I’d compliment them on something I like (bag/shoes/makeup/a book they’re reading) and then try to find common ground for there. For men, I’d try something neutral so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to hit on them. Perhaps weekend plans, work etc.” — llovejoy1234
11.
“Biggest animal you think you could take in a fight.” — RizziJoy
12.
“I usually bring up home renovations. Especially if the small talk confined us to a space for quite some time. Like a wedding, business conference etc. I can always find people who are not only working on different parts of their homes, but enjoy talking about them. Learned a thing or two along the line as well!” — Calm-Ad
13.
“Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?” — HowToDoNot
14.
“F.O.R.D. Family/Occupation/Recreation/Dreams
Family: Do they have kids? If so, people love to talk about their kids. How many, what ages, what grades are they in in school? If they are older (High School/College) what are they studying? Do they play sports/music? If family is not a comfortable subject (you don’t feel like asking about spouse and kids and such) then move on to Occupation
Occupation: What do they do for a living? How long? Do they like it? Did they go to school for it? How did they get into it?
Recreation: What do they like to do in their free time? Hobbies? What sports do they like to watch? Do they play any sports? Do they do anything active? Do they do anything artistic or musical?
Dreams: What are they currently looking forward to in life? Is there a big vacation coming up? Are the kids graduating from School? Are they training for a major athletic event (marathon or some other competition)?
This is usually my go-to when making small talk and it’s usually enough to get me to some sort of common ground that our conversation can build off organically.” — khamylion
