For over a month now, Samy has been stuck in the city of Chiang Mai. Broke, alone, at constant risk of deportation, and bored out of his mind, he sits in a room, waiting for a friend to bring him enough money to charter a van back to his home in the refugee camp.


He ended up here because he grew stir crazy enough to venture a trip to the market, where he was promptly arrested for not having citizenship papers. As a Burmese refugee, he faced deportation for being caught outside his camp. After that close call, it was back into hiding (the next group of Thai officers that pick him up might not be as easygoing) and back to the waiting game.

This might not be the worst fate imaginable to a seasoned refugee who’s spent much of his adult life in the margins—stateless and accustomed to such tensions. But to me, it seems excruciating.

The problem is that since Samy is technically in Thailand illegally, he can’t travel around the country on cheap public transportation, or take buses or trains. There are checkpoints between major cities and the border cities, like the one outside the refugee camp where he happens to live. Refugees and illegal immigrants apprehended at these checkpoints can be jailed or deported.

Which is why Samy is still waiting. With enough money, he can charter a private van with a friendly service that knows the backroads around the checkpoints, but the risky trip isn’t cheap, and with no way to earn any money, Samy is out of options.

I offer to wire Samy enough money to pay for the van, but he tells me no, thank you. “I think my friend will come soon,” he says. He must have said that a half dozen times by now.

I’ve written about Samy’s optimistic disposition before, but this takes it to a whole new level. Samy and I have spoken once a week since he’s been in Chiang Mai, and besides saying that he’s bored, he doesn’t show any frustration about this situation. Here he is confined to a room and he’s telling me, “Nah, let’s wait it out.”

It’s always struck me as one of the great cliches, the protagonist turning down help in the face of serious adversity because he’s too proud—but I think some variation on that theme is going on here. It’s more than just not wanting to be a charity case; Samy has genuine confidence in his own self-reliance. He has never asked for money before, and he’s refused it the very few times I’ve offered.

But time goes by, and the friend never shows up. And though I’m not really worried about Samy’s immediate safety—why not is hard to say, and maybe I should be, but I guess I’ve grown confident in his ability to handle this stuff with his trademark nonchalance. I just think the situation sucks, and I want to help. I get pissed off when I’m stuck on a subway platform for too long; I can’t imagine bouncing off the walls of a dingy apartment room for weeks on end. I hope he’s got A/C.

Another motivator behind this new development may have something to do with all the noise coming from Arizona. I’m not going to get into politics here, but I will say that considering Samy’s predicament, I can’t help but draw parallels: Samy was arrested because he was actively working to lift himself out of a life where he’s constricted to a couple square miles of muddy village.

It’s a good exercise in empathy, and it makes me wonder whether we as Americans, who value freedom above all else, would wish these circumstances on anyone. Are we willing to cultivate an environment of fear for people in situations not so disparate from Samy’s? I mean, nobody—with the possible exception of convicted multiple felons—should have to live like this.

And so I want to do something, and seriously, paying for Samy’s way out of Chiang Mai is about as expensive as, say, dinner for two at a casual restaurant here in Brooklyn. If I stay home and make pasta next Thursday instead of going out, we’re even.

Thankfully, Samy finally agrees to let me help him out this once. He tells me he’s going to give his friend a few more days to come through, and then we’ll try to figure out if Western Union can help me deliver a couple bucks across the globe. I’ll let you know how that goes.

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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