Every generation has thoughts and opinions on how we should treat each other. What is right verses what is wrong. You might think it’s universal, but it is not. There is a word very important to building healthy relationships. Some could argue it is the foundation of building good communities. That word is respect, and every generation has its own way to communicate it.

Respect is how we treat one another ethically and fairly. Respect allows us to coexist more peacefully. It boosts empathy and tolerance. Respect builds better communication and understanding. Respect allows for differences of opinion, culture, identity, and inclusiveness.

emotional intelligence, entitlement, authenticity, cultural respect, boundary setting, social norms
Respect spelled out on a corkboard. Image via Canva – Photo by mattjeacock

A quick definition in context for the word respect from Dictionary.com, “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person.”

These are the unique, four very different ways the generations of Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z share it:

Boomers (61 to 79 years)

hierarchical, seniors, elders, listening skills, trust, patience, tradition, generational, traditional values
Boomer looking stylish. Image via Canva – Photo by capturenow

This is a generation of traditional values. They believe in a hierarchical structure (most powerful or seniors on top) and prefer the formal to the informal. Healthy Workforce Institute writes, “To the boomers, obedience is a sign of respect. They generally give respect to anyone who is an elder. Respect for their experience and knowledge takes the form of listening. Boomers want you to listen and not discard their opinions or complete their sentences.”

Older woman slips on her shades. media3.giphy.com

In general, Boomers expect you to respect them because of their age and position. With a lifetime of experience, it’s fair they should believe you owe them in the least, some ‘benefit of the doubt.’

Generation X (45 to 60 years)

government actions, faith, untrustworthy, generational study, personal values, freedom,  authoritarian
Gen X looking professional. Image via Canva – Photos by kertlis

Gen X isn’t sure they can trust you. That means respect isn’t just thrown around freely. Having watched the pitfalls and lies their parents went through, the irresponsible government actions, and a trail of history laying down example after example of untrustworthy behavior, Gen X are a bit careful with where they place their faith and respect. An article on Defender Network writes about the Gen X experience saying, “… being tasked with discerning which adults provided info/advice that made sense and which ones only talked nonsense. But either way, whomever we encountered, we treated them the way we wanted to be treated.”

dignity, appreciation, consideration, courtesy, kindness, validation, SNL, Saturday Night Live
A funny clip from a Saturday Night Liveu00a0skit. media1.giphy.com

Looking for an authentic experience, Gen X may be a lit bit anti-authoritarian. Yet, as long as people display some trustworthy behaviors, they will recognize them back with respect.

Millennials (29 to 44 years)

tolerance, esteem, manners, civility, manners, deference, self esteem, appreciation
Millenial on a sunny day. Image via Canva – Photo by plprod

The big buzzword for Millennials is equality. Often they feel unappreciated. With elders believing they fall short in lifetime experience and younger generations feeling they haven’t lived enough, either way it can feel a little disrespectful. Healthy Workforce Institute writes, “Millennial’s feel respected when they’re asked for their input and are included in decision-making. They feel disrespected when they are excluded.”

intelligence, psychology, self actualization, self development, emotional intelligence, feelings

This is a generation that’s started to work on self development and self actualization. There’s a strong lean into emotional intelligence and evolving into their best bodies. They want you to see their work and encourage others to do the same for themselves. Psychology Today explains that Millennials are obsessed with their own self-improvement. Feelings of exaggerated self expectations are piled upon by feelings of lack of acknowledgement from the other generations. They seek to be respected and equally want to respect you too.

Generation Z (13 to 28 years)

inclusivity, hold space, value others, justice, intolerance, offensive behavior, trigger warnings, clear boundaries
Gen Z all smiles. Image via Canva – Photo by FatCamera

Gen Z isn’t much about respecting people without them earning it. That someone should be respected because of their age, nope. This is a generation that seeks justice, accountability, and identity recognition. Your Tango writes the generation sees respect as using inclusive language, intolerance to offensive behaviors, setting clear boundaries, offering trigger warnings, and questioning authority.

Tom Cruise, celebrity, global, entertainment, Risky Business, hulu, motivation, building trust, accept differences
Tom Cruise in the movie Risky Business. media3.giphy.com

With more information available at their fingertips, getting to see a broader picture of the world, and they’ve found the status quo to be lacking. No generation before has been given so much access to truth when people are willing to hunt it down and find it. Gen Z says, “You want my respect? Show me you deserve it.”

Final Thoughts

Giving people the benefit of the doubt might be more worth it than we think. It’s easy to pile on and point the finger at who isn’t doing it right. Respect can also be giving people a second chance. Allowing others to make mistakes and then try to do better. Hovering over them screaming, “No. That’s not right.” doesn’t really motivate like it once was thought to do. Respect may actually take a little risk in that you can be burned. Of course, you can also find someone willing and wanting to respect you right back.

  • Despite all the likes, literallys and dropped g’s, English isn’t decaying before our eyes
    Photo credit: LisaStrachan/iStock via Getty Images Fear not: There isn’t anything that needs saving.

    As a linguistics professor, I’m often asked why English is decaying before our eyes, whether it’s “like” being used promiscuouslyt’s being dropped deleteriously or “literally” being deployed nonliterally.

    While these common gripes point to eccentric speech patterns, they don’t point to grammatical annihilation. English has weathered far worse.

    Let’s start with something we can all agree on: Old English, spoken from approximately A.D. 450 to 1100, is pretty unintelligible to us today. Anyone who’s had the pleasure of reading “Beowulf” in high school knows how different English back then used to sound. Word endings did a lot more grammatical work, and verbs followed more complicated patterns. Remnants of those rules fuel lingering debates today, such as when to use “whom” over “who,” and whether the past tense of “sneak” is “snuck” or “sneaked.”

    The language went on to experience centuries of tumult: Viking invasions, which introduced Old Norse influence; Anglo-Norman French rule, which shifted the language of the elite to French; and 18th-Century grammarians, who dictated norms with their elocution and grammar guides.

    In that time, English has lost almost all of the more complex linguistic trappings it was born with to become the language we know and – at least, sometimes – love today. And as I explain in my new book, “Why We Talk Funny: The Real Story Behind Our Accents,” it was all thanks to the way that language naturally evolves to meet the social needs of its speakers.

    From dropping the ‘l’ to dropping the ‘g’

    The things we tend to label as “bad” or sloppy English – for instance, the “g” that gets lost from our -ing endings or the deletion of a “t” when we say a word like “innernet” – actually reflect speech habits that are centuries old.

    Take, for example, “often.” Originally spoken with the “t,” that pronunciation gradually became less favored around the 15th century, alongside that “l” in “talk” and the “k” in know. Meanwhile, the “s” now stuck on the back of verbs like “does” and “makes” began as a dialectal variant that only became popular in 16th-century London. It gradually replaced “th” whenever third persons were involved, as in “The lady doth protest too much.”

    While dropping the “l” in talk may have been initially frowned upon, today it would be strange if you pronounced the letter. And the shift makes sense: It smoothed out some linguistic awkwardness for the sake of efficiency.

    If people learned to look at language more like linguists, they might come around to seeing that there is more than one perspective on what good speech consists of.

    And yes, that absolutely is a sentence ending with a preposition – something many modern grammar guides discourage, even though the idea only took hold after 18th-century grammarian Robert Lowth intimated it was a less elegant choice based on the model of Latin.

    Though Lowth voiced no hard and fast rule against it, many a grammar maven later misconstrued his advice as an admonition. Just like that, a mere suggestion became grammatical law.

    The rise of the grammar sticklers

    Many of today’s ideas about what constitutes correct English are based on a singular – often mistaken – 19th-century view of the forces that govern our language.

    In the late 18th century, the English-speaking world began experiencing class restructuring and higher literacy rates. As greater class mobility became possible, accent differences became class markers that separated new money from old money.

    Emulation of upper-crust speech norms became popular among the nouveau riche. With literacy also on the rise, grammarians and elocutionists raced to dictate the terms of “proper” English on and off the page, which led to the rise of usage guides and dictionaries that were eager to sell a certain brand of speech.

    Another example of grammarian angst reconfiguring the view of an otherwise perfectly fine form is the droppin’ of the “g.” It became so tied to slovenly speech that it was branded with an apostrophe in the 19th century to make sure no one missed its lackadaisical and nonstandard nature.

    Up until the 19th century, however, no one seemed to care whether one pronounced it as “-in” or “-ing.”

    Evidence suggests that -ing wasn’t even heard as the correct form. Many elocution guides from the 18th century provide rhyming word pairs like “herring/heron,” “coughing/coffin” and “jerking/jerkin,” which suggest that “-in” may have been the preferred pronunciation of words ending with “-ing.” Even writer and satirist Jonathan Swift – a frequent lobbyist for “proper” English – rhymes “brewing” with “ruin” in his 1731 poem “Verses on the Death of Dr. Swift, D.S.P.D..”

    Embrace the change

    Language has always shifted and evolved. People often bristle at changes from what they’ve known to what is new. And maybe that’s because this process often begins with speakers that society usually looks less favorably on: the young, the female, the poor, the nonwhite.

    But it’s important to remember that being disliked and bad are not the same thing – that today’s speech pariahs are driven by the same linguistic and social needs as the Londoners who started going with “does” instead of “doth” or dropped the “t” in often.

    So if you think the speech that comes from your lips is the “correct” version, think again. Thou, like every other English speaker, art literally the product of centuries of linguistic reinvention.

    This article originally appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

  • 10 boys and 10 girls were left alone in separate houses and the different results are just wild
    Photo credit: Canva(L) Kids wrestling in the yard; (R) young children playing chess

    It sounds like the plot of William Golding’s Lord of the Flies. However, in the mid-2000s, it was a very real and very controversial reality television experiment.

    Footage from the UK Channel 4 documentary Boys and Girls Alone is captivating audiences all over again. It offers a fascinating and chaotic look at what happens when you remove parents from the equation.

    The premise was simple but high stakes. Twenty children, aged 11 and 12, were split into two groups by gender. Ten boys and ten girls were placed in separate houses and told to live without adult supervision for five days.

    The Setup

    While there were safety nets in place, the day-to-day living was entirely up to the kids. A camera crew was present but instructed not to intervene unless safety was at risk. The children could also ring a bell to speak to a nurse or psychiatrist.

    The houses were fully stocked with food, cleaning supplies, toys, and paints. Everything they needed to survive was there. They just had to figure out how to use it.

    The Boys: Instant Chaos

    In the boys’ house, the unraveling was almost immediate. The newfound freedom triggered a rapid descent into high-energy anarchy.

    They engaged in water pistol fights and threw cushions. In one memorable instance, a boy named Michael covered the carpet in sticky popcorn kernels just because he could.

    The destruction eventually escalated to the walls. The boys covered the house in writing, drawing, and paint. But the euphoria of freedom eventually crashed into the reality of consequences.

    “We never expected to be like this, but I’m really upset that we trashed it so badly,” one boy admitted in the footage. “We were trying to explore everything at once and got too carried away in ourselves.”

    Their attempts to clean up were frantic and largely ineffective. Nutrition also took a hit. Despite having completed a cooking course, the boys survived mostly on cereal, sugar, and the occasional frozen pizza. By the end of the week, the house was trashed, and the group had fractured into opposing factions.

    The Girls: Organized Society

    The girls’ house looked like a different planet.

    In stark contrast to the mayhem next door, the girls immediately established a functioning society. They organized a cooking roster, with a girl named Sherry preparing their first meal. They baked cakes. They put on a fashion show. They even drew up a scrupulous chores list to ensure the house stayed livable.

    While their stay wasn’t devoid of interpersonal drama, the experiment highlighted a fascinating divergence in socialization. Left to their own devices, the girls prioritized community and maintenance. The boys tested the absolute limits of their environment until it broke.

    The documentary was controversial when it aired, with critics questioning the ethics of placing children in unsupervised situations for entertainment. But what made it so enduring, and why footage keeps resurfacing years later, is what it reveals about how kids are socialized long before anyone puts them in a house together. The boys weren’t born anarchists and the girls weren’t born organizers. They arrived at those houses already shaped by years of being told, implicitly and explicitly, what boys do and what girls do. Whether that’s a nature story or a nurture story is the question the documentary keeps asking without quite answering, which is probably why people are still watching and arguing about it nearly two decades later.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • 9-year-old girl asks Steph Curry why his shoes aren’t in girls’ sizes. The response was perfect.
    Photo credit: Wikicommons(L) A young girl's letter to Steph Curry asking about women's shoe sizes; (R) Steph Curry.
    ,

    9-year-old girl asks Steph Curry why his shoes aren’t in girls’ sizes. The response was perfect.

    “… it seems unfair that the shoes are only in the boys,” Riley Morrison wrote, starting a chain reaction of positive change.

    Nine-year-old Riley Morrison from Napa, California is a huge basketball fan. She roots for the Golden State Warriors and her favorite player is four-time NBA champion Steph Curry. Morrison loves to play basketball so she went online to pick up a pair of Curry’s Under Armour Curry 5 shoes, but there weren’t any available in the girls’ section of the site.

    But instead of resigning herself to the fact she wouldn’t be able to drive the lane in a sweet pair of Curry 5’s, she wrote a letter to the man himself. Her father posted it on social media:

    “My name is Riley (just like your daughter), I’m 9 years old from Napa, California. I am a big fan of yours. I enjoy going to Warriors games with my dad. I asked my dad to buy me the new Curry 5’s because I’m starting a new basketball season. My dad and I visited the Under Armour website and were disappointed to see that there were no Curry 5’s for sale under the girls section. However, they did have them for sale under the boy’s section, even to customize. I know you support girl athletes because you have two daughters and you host an all girls basketball camp. I hope you can work with Under Armour to change this because girls want to rock the Curry 5’s too.”

    “I wanted to write the letter because it seems unfair that the shoes are only in the boys’ section and not in the girls’ section,” Riley told Teen Vogue. “I wanted to help make things equal for all girls, because girls play basketball, too.”

    The letter got to Curry and he gave an amazing response on X (formerly Twitter).

    Many might be surprised that a megastar like Curry took a nine-year-old’s letter seriously, but he’s long been a vocal supporter of women’s issues.

    That August, Curry wrote an empowering letter that was published in The Player’s Tribune where he discussed closing the gender pay gap, hosting his first all-girls basketball camp, and what he’s learned from raising two daughters.

    In the essay he shared a powerful lesson his mother taught him. “Always stay listening to women to always stay believing in women, and — when it comes to anyone’s expectations for women — to always stay challenging the idea of what’s right,” he wrote.

    Curry clearly practices what he preaches because when a nine-year-old girl spoke up, he was all ears.

    Steph Curry and Under Armour didn’t just fix the girls’ sizing issue, they launched a special edition Curry 6 “United We Win” co-designed by Riley, created a $30K annual scholarship for girls, and shifted to unisex sizing across Curry Brand shoes.

    Since then, Curry has stayed active in promoting gender equity: he’s hosted girls’ camps, added girls to his elite training programs, mentored players like Azzi Fudd, and launched the Curry Family Women’s Athletics Initiative to fund 200+ scholarships at Davidson College.

    Riley and Steph bumped into each other at an event where they caught up and took photos. She is now a high school athlete at Vintage High School in Napa, still playing basketball. And yes, still rocking Currys.

    This article originally appeared seven years ago. It has been updated.

Explore More Culture Stories

Culture

Despite all the likes, literallys and dropped g’s, English isn’t decaying before our eyes

Culture

10 boys and 10 girls were left alone in separate houses and the different results are just wild

Media

9-year-old girl asks Steph Curry why his shoes aren’t in girls’ sizes. The response was perfect.

Art

Why Michelangelo’s ‘Last Judgment’ endures