So, Cadbury figured out that 60% of its carbon emissions came from the production of the milk they use in their candybars. Why? Because their cows eat crappy diets and then burp a lot of methane into the atmosphere, contributing to the gradual warming of the planet-that’s why.In an effort to clean up their act, Cadbury’s environment guy will be training the company’s dairy farmers in low-carbon farming, reducing emissions of carbon dioxide, methane and nitrous oxide through various measures. One of which is changing cows’ diets.(Fun fact: Burping is the bigger problem, not “bovine emissions coming from the rear.”)Changing cows’ diets could be a fantastic idea, depending on what they switch to. “The altered diet changes the way that bacteria in the stomachs of the animals break down plant material into waste gas,” Mike Abberton, a scientist studying the issue, told the Guardian a while back. Low-carbon diets include eating more high-sugar greens, legumes and other (genetically engineered) veggies out at pasture. (Which sounds positively gourmet compared to the government-subsidized corn and soy served in cages stateside.)Still, there is something almost Onionesque about the whole thing, no? Instead of, you know, eating less meat or dairy, because we know by now it’s bad for the planet, it’s “Let’s genetically engineer greens so that cows burp less.” Welcome to the funny farm, folks.
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