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Enigmatic singer-songwriter Fiona Apple has defied conventions for most of her twenty-plus year career. After winning the MTV Music Award for Best New Artist in 1997, she declared the entire music industry to be complete “bulls**t” and asked viewers to “go with yourself” instead of following pop stars. In 2012, she shocked fans and the music industry by postponing a tour to care for her sick dog. Now, Apple is sharing her views again, albeit this time with a hint of humor, in a Christmas parody she’s written about president-elect Donald Trump.


Apple’s new song, “Trump’s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire” is a parody of “The Christmas Song” made famous by Nat King Cole. The song takes aim at Trump’s history of sexually assaulting women with the line: “You’ll cry creepy uncle / Every time he arrives / For he keeps clawing at your clothes.” Apple also takes a shot at Trump’s xenophobia: “They know that Trump is on his way / He’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh.” And she ends the song with a very festive, “Merry Christmas, Donald Trump, f**k you.”

Here’s the complete lyrics.

Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
As he keeps nipping at his foes
You’ll cry creepy uncle
Every time he arrives
For he keeps clawing at your clothes
Everybody knows some money and entitlement
Can help to make the season white
Mothers of color with their kids out of sight
Will find it hard to sleep at night.








They know that Trump is on his way
He’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh
And every working man is going to cry
When they learn that letch don’t care how you live or if you die




Sooo I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from 1 to 92
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Donald Trump, f**k you





  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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