Articles

Real Convention Coverage



Given the distinct lack of mystery about the actual proceedings at the conventions, it's always interesting to watch news outlets scramble to figure out what, exactly, they're going to cover. Not surprisingly, several sites have risen to the occasion. Here's a totally not-comprehensive look at some of the interesting things we've come across:

Slate's hilarious twitter feed, which includes this inspired entry: "This Biden as Vice President headfake is getting really elaborate but I still think Hillary has a chance."

TPMs always classy (if slightly hard to navigate) political reportage has extended to cover the dance in Denver. You have to dig around for it, but they tell you what you need to know. And if you're a moving pictures type, they've also got some cameras rolling.

This guy's kind of intense but still interesting coverage of riot cops at the DNC (and man are there riot cops here).

The Observer has sent a bevy of reporters to the event, and their reporting gets a special home on their site. Nice mix of politics and culture, insider and casual observer. Also, all short (in the good way).

While it's unclear if Radar has actually sent anyone to the mile high city, they're doing their thing. Also, we totally agree about this.

Speaking of Slate, Jack Schaffer really hates on the "Denver snooze" as he calls it.

Finally, Ted Kennedy's 1980 convention speech is referenced about a thousand times a day, so we thought you could use a link to see what all the fuss it about. Part 1, part 2, part 3, and part 4. God he looks good. Looking good Ted.















Articles

11 Struggles That Only Left-Handed People Understand

Being left-handed can be hazardous to your health but it’s great if you’re running for president.

Photo from Pixabay.
The complexities behind living left-handed.

For the past 42 years, August 13 has been International Left-handers Day.

It was first observed by Dean R. Campbell, founder of the Lefthanders International, Inc., to celebrate their uniqueness and highlight the health and educational issues they face.

It’s also a day to honor left-handed people who overcame their struggles to achieve great things, including: Bill Gates, Marie Curie, Oprah Winfrey, Babe Ruth, Napoleon Bonaparte, Leonardo da Vinci, and Jimi Hendrix.

As well as the long list of left-handed presidents that have graced the oval office since the dawn of the 20th century: James Garfield, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama.

www.flickr.com

Obama-fistbump

Photo by Joe Loong/Flickr/Creative Commons.

And, of course, the greatest lefty-rights advocate of our times, Ned Flanders.

Ned Flanders GIF from Giphy

Ned Flanders celebrates on The Simpsons.

So, to help spread awareness about the unique issues affecting left-handed people, here’s GOOD’s list of the 11 struggles that only left-handed people understand.

1. Scissors

Most left-handed people don’t truly realize they’re different until they reach pre-school and realize it’s impossible to use right-handed scissors. If the teacher doesn’t have a left-handed pair, they’re forced to either cut righty and slash their artwork to bits or turn the scissors upside down and get premature arthritis.

2. Ink

Life is tough for lefties who write in a language that reads left to right. Especially if they’re writing in ink. If a lefty uses a pen with slow-drying ink, they’re bound to smear it with the palm on their left hand.

3. Playing sports

Physical education class can be tough for left-handed people. They better hope their teacher has enough left-handed baseball gloves or they’re stuck on the sideline. Plus, most coaches are righties, so left-handed people have to learn to do everything in reverse.

4. Can openers

If it wasn’t for the advent of left-handed can openers, most of them would have starved.

5. Guitars

For a left-handed person to play a right-handed guitar they have to flip the thing over and then restring it the opposite way. The left-handed god of living in a right-handed world has to be Jimi Hendrix. He became one of the greatest guitar players ever by playing a right-handed guitar upside down.

6. Cameras

Left-handed photographers and videographers are at a great disadvantage because the shutter button is always on the right-hand side.

7. Lower pay

According to a study published in the Journal of Economic Perspectives, lefties make about 10 to 12% percent less than righties. Joshua Goodman, an economist at Harvard’s Kennedy School, claims the wage gap is because left-handed people “have more emotional and behavioral problems, have more learning disabilities such as dyslexia, complete less schooling, and work in occupations requiring less cognitive skill.”

8. Poor health

According to ABC, left-handed people are more likely to be schizophrenic, alcoholic, delinquent, dyslexic, and have Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis, as well as mental disabilities. This dark fact shows that left-handed people not only have to put up with minor annoyances, but they’re more likely to get a serious illness.

9. Tools

The labels, handles, and switches are always on the right-hand side of any tool or machine. While it seems like a minor nuisance, this puts lefties who use dangerous equipment in peril.

10. Dinner tables

Left-handed people aren’t free to sit wherever they like at the dinner table. They have to find a spot where they’re not bumping elbows with the person sitting next to them. Which means they’re sometimes stuck sitting next to the person no one wants to eat beside.

11. Spiral notebooks

It’s amazing more left-handed people don’t have calluses on the palms of their left hands after rubbing them against the edge of spiral notebooks during school. The only alternative is turning the notebook upside down so the pages look funny or buying an overpriced left-handed notebook.


Article originally appeared on 08.13.18.


Culture

George Harrison's elaborate prank on Phil Collins may be the funniest joke in rock history

George Harrison wasn't just a great musician, he was hilarious.

via Philippe Roos / Flickr and Wikimedia Commons

Phil Collins 1981 and George Harrison in Vrindavan.

Beatle George Harrison was pigeon-holed as the "Quiet Beatle," but the youngest member of the Fab Four had an acerbic, dry sense of humor that was as sharp as the rest of his bandmates.

He gave great performances in the musical comedy classics, "A Hard Days Night" and "Help!" while holding his own during The Beatles' notoriously anarchic press conferences. After he left the band in 1970, in addition to his musical career, he would produce the 1979 Monty Python classic, "The Life of Brian."

Harrison clearly didn't lose his sense of humor for the rest of his life. Shortly before his death in 2001, he played an elaborate prank on Phil Collins that shows how the "Here Comes the Sun" singer would go the extra mile for a laugh.

GIF from media2.giphy.com.

The Beatles Love GIF

In 1970, Harrison was recording his first solo record and arguably the best by a Beatle, "All things Must Pass." The session for the song, "The Art of Dying" featured former Beatle Ringo Starr on drums, keyboard legend Billy Preston on keys, virtuoso Eric Clapton on guitar, and was produced by the notorious Phil Spector.

Harrison wanted a conga player for the session, so Ringo's chauffeur reached out to Phil Collins' manager. At the time, Collins was a relative unknown who was about to join Genesis, a band that would bring him worldwide stardom.

The 18-year-old Collins was starstruck playing on a session with two former Beatles, so he played extra hard in rehearsals, resulting in blood blisters on both hands.

Gif from media3.giphy.com.

Phil Collins 80s GIF.

"Anyway, after about two hours of this, Phil Spector says, 'Okay congas, you play this time.' And I'd had my mic off, so everybody laughed, but my hands were shot," Collins told Express.

"And just after that they all disappeared – someone said they were watching TV or something – and I was told I could go," after that, Collins was relieved of his duties and told to go home. A few months later, Collins bought the massive triple album in the record shop and was devastated to learn he'd been edited out of the song.

"There must be some mistake! Collins thought. "But it's a different version of the song, and I'm not on it."

Some thirty years later, Collins bought the home of Formula One driver Jackie Stewart, a close friend of Harrison. Stewart mentioned to Collins that Harrison was remixing "All Things Must Pass" for a rerelease.

"And he said, 'You were on it, weren't you?' And I said, 'Well I was there,"' Collins recalled.

GIF from media0.giphy.com.

George Harrison Animated Album Cover GIF.

Two days later, a tape was delivered from Harrison to Collins with a note that read: "Could this be you?" Collins continued: "I rush off and listen to it, and straight away I recognize it." It was a recording of "The Art of Dying."

"Suddenly the congas come in – too loud and just awful," Collins was devastated, then as the end of the take, Harrison can be heard saying, "Hey, Phil, can we try another without the conga player?"

Collins was devastated, to say the least.

A while later, Stewart calls Collins and puts Harrison on the line. "'Did you get the tape?' Harrison asked. "I now realize I was fired by a Beatle," Collins sighed. The two changed the subject, but a few minutes later, Harrison couldn't stop laughing.

"Don't worry, it was a piss-take. I got Ray Cooper to play really badly and we dubbed it on," Harrison admitted. "Thought you'd like it!" So, Harrison had an entire recording session with a conga player who he asked to play poorly, just to pull one over on Collins.

GIF from media3.giphy.com.

The Beatles Smile GIF.

If you're in the mood for another of rock's greatest pranks. The story of "The Ring" told by Beastie Boys' Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz shared in "Beastie Boys Story" is another great example of someone going to incredible lengths just for a laugh.

The story revolves around the late Beasties' rapper Adam "MCA" Yach, his bandmate Horovitz, and a very creepy ring given to him by a fan backstage at a concert.

youtu.be

“The Ring” from Beastie Boys Story (Original Original Cut)

“The Ring" from Beastie Boys Story (Original Original Cut)


This article originally appeared on 02.11.21

Articles

Alanis Morissette updated 'Ironic' for today's problems and it's hilarious

"It's like Amazon but your package never came..."

Alanis Morissette's 1995 song “Ironic" was a massive hit, making the top five in Australia, Canada, the U.S., and Norway.

It would go on to be nominated for two Grammys and its video featuring Morissette singing in a large automobile would be nominated for six MTV video music awards. But the song has drawn more than a few raised eyebrows from pedants across the English-speaking world for being about coincidences, not irony. But who cares? It's still a good song.

Twenty years later, Morissette updated her song with the help of “The Late Late Show" host James Corden to reflect modern problems, including Facebook, vaping, Netflix, and Southwest flights. She even made fun of her original song singing, “It's singing 'Ironic,' but there are no ironies / And who would've thought it figures?"

An old friend sends you a Facebook request

You only find out they're racist after you accept
There's free office cake on the first day of your diet
It's like they announce a new iPhone the day after you buy it
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
It's like swiping left on your future soulmate
It's a Snapchat that you wish you had saved
It's a funny tweet that nobody faves
And who would've thought it figures

It's a traffic jam when you try to use Waze

A no-smoking sign when you brought your vape
It's 10,000 male late-night hosts when all you want is just one woman, seriously!
It's singing the duet of your dreams, and then Alanis Morissette shouting at you
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think

It's like you're first class on a Southwest plane

Then you realize that every seat is the same
It's like Amazon but your package never came
And who would've thought it figures

It's like Netflix but you own DVDs

It's a free ride but your Uber's down the street
It's singing “Ironic," but there are no ironies
And who would've thought it figures

Watch the hilarious video from “The Late Late Show" below:

youtu.be

Alanis Morissette Updates 'Ironic' Lyrics

You can also watch the original music video from 1995 here:

www.youtube.com

Alanis Morissette - Ironic (Official 4K Music Video)

This article was originally published on January 31, 2019.

Recent polls suggest that Republicans and Democrats have slightly different tastes that have nothing to do with politics. If you like cats, The Beatles, and Starbucks, you tend to vote Democrat. If you're into Toby Keith, Budweiser, and Dunkin' Donuts, you tend to vote Republican. But an interesting new quiz claims to be 98 percent effective at determining people's political affiliations by asking questions that have zero to do with politics.

So how does it work? (Don't read the answer if you haven't taken the quiz yet.)

According to ChartsMe, recent studies have found that people who were more prone to disgust are more conservative. This leads them to more closely align with the Republican Party. Some scientists believe it's ancestral and that the adverse reactions to conditions we'd label “disgusting" were used to protect primitive ancestors from contamination and disease. This way a person wouldn't confuse drinking water with dirty pond scum. But if the test told you that you're a Republican, you probably won't accept that explanation because studies show you probably don't believe in evolution.

Click to take the quiz.

Click to take the quiz.

This article originally appeared on 10.30.17

When you have important questions, where better to go for answers than a free-for-all website where literally anyone with a Wifi signal can sign up? Google is sooooooo early 2000’s.

In 2017, we get all our info from Twitter. Where could that possible go wrong???

18-year-old Twitter user Aimee recently took to the trusty website to ask something most of us have probably wondered about without even realizing it:

Photo from Twitter @TaylorRaee23.

Language people.

“Serious question, what the fuck is this for?" she asked, next to a photo of that handle on the ceiling of every car that we all knew about and probably wondered about but never thought to even ask for some reason?!?!?!?!?!?

People immediately started sharing their theories, like this one:

twitter.com

None

And this one:

twitter.com

None

All seem valid. But then one woman provided an answer so undeniably and universally real, it blew all the other theories out of the water:

twitter.com

None

“For my mom to dramatically grab when I'm going 26 in a 25," wrote Taylor Myers, a college student from Pittsburgh.

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. MY MIND IS BLOWN.

Her response immediately blew up, wracking up over 118,000 retweets in three days. And Twitter could not agree with her theory more:

twitter.com

None

Others pointed out that the handle even has a name to match its function:

twitter.com

None

The “oh shit bar." Apparently this is old news in Texas, which is living in 3017 while the rest of us are stranded in 2017 (come rescue us, Texas!):

twitter.com

None

And for those of you who aren't potty mouths, don't worry, there's also a more pious name for it: “the Jesus bar."

twitter.com

None

But whatever you want to call it, I think we can all agree, now that we know what it is, our lives will never, ever be the same.


Article originally appeared on 06.25.21.

Good News

Gay teacher fabulously shuts down homophobic mom who pulled her kids from his class.

A drama teacher had the best response to the mom who stopped her kids from taking classes with him after discovering he was gay.

A drama teacher had the most polite "screw you" response to the mom who stopped her kids from taking classes with him upon discovering that he was gay.

Michael Neri is a drama teacher from Kidderminster, England. He runs Talking Props Theatre School, a performing arts school for children ages 8 to 13.

A mother signed her kids up to take theater classes at Talking Props, but upon discovering that Neri was gay, texted him to let her know that she was withdrawing them, citing her "Christian" beliefs. He responded by gracefully shutting her down.

Image from Facebook/Michael Neri

The texting interaction between mom and Michael.

Look, lady, nobody has time for bigotry anymore. ESPECIALLY not in the performing arts.


Article originally appeared on 07.29.21

Photo by Austin Wade on Unsplash
Having a good laugh.

Bumper stickers are some form of self expression, I guess.

Whether you want the people who drive behind you to know who you voted for, that your kid made the honor roll, or that you are a huge Phish fan, people love adorning the back of their cars with stickers.

But sometimes the design of said stickers are so poor that you could potentially be sending major mixed signals. Case in point? This confusing religious bumper sticker snapped in Ohio:

twitter.com

“really just spent two minutes like "why would you shame someone with tuna?"”

Tunashamed? Is that when you get shamed for eating too much tuna? Or being a tuna? Or loving tuna? What is going on here? Well, apparently the decal is of a cross (most likely denoting Catholicism or Christianity), next to the word “unashamed.” But the two are a little too close together...resulting in “Tunashamed.”

Twitter couldn’t stop laughing:

twitter.com

“@the_blueprint Oh wow, even after knowing it's a cross and not a t, I still pronounced the rest "oona-shamed" and did NOT get it's just "unashamed"”

twitter.com

“@the_blueprint @dorseyshaw no, but like... i said it out loud about six times”

And, of course, puns were made:

"When my faith started to flounder, I accepted Cod too.... just for the halibut."
— Better Whirled (@betterwhirled) August 29, 2017\n

twitter.com

“@the_blueprint Tuna knows what it did.”

twitter.com

“@the_blueprint ”

twitter.com

“@the_blueprint @The_Reed_ Only if they had too much tuna”


But hey, there is an important lesson to be learned here: whether you love your religion or you love tuna fish, you should never feel ashamed. But if you purchase really horribly designed bumper stickers and plaster them on your car, I’s sorry but...

GIF from Giphy.

The GIF of shame... shame... SHAME.


This article originally appeared on 09.06.18.

Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.

In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.

One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.

Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?

IS IT?

Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Encourage.

When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Sharing ideas.

When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just “thinking out loud," “throwing something out there," or sharing something “dumb," “random," or “crazy."

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Email requests.

Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Idea sharing.

If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Sexism.

When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.

permission

Mansplain.

Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, “I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Mistakes.

Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your “hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Promotions.

Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Rude.

Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Interruptions.

When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Collaboration.

When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Disagreements.

When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man- like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

In conclusion...

Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a “secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.

About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, was just released.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

The book cover.

A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.


This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.