A training video from Walmart leaked onto the internet today. Its message? Unions are really just a ruse to take your hard-earned money—just like taxes! Naturally, the talking heads featured in this video gloss over how labor unions can get workers higher pay and quality benefits through the use of collective bargaining.

Here are our top five quotes from this corporate gem:

1. "The thing I remember most about the union is, that they took dues money out of my paycheck before I ever saw it... just like taxes."

2. "I don't think Walmart associates should have to have someone to speak for them. It's just not that kind of place."

3. "We also know that most union members shop in our stores and clubs nationwide. I talk to them all the time and I hear them complain about their jobs and their union representatives."

4. "I'll tell ya, every job has its ups and downs...and a union can't change that.”

5. "In today's world, your signature means a lot. To be honest, I don't like handing my signature over to anyone... much less to unions who seem to be spending so much time trying to hurt my company."