Mr. Trump, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.


Well, not one person per se, but the thousands of veterans I’ve had the privilege to work with as a clinical psychologist over the past 20 years. They’ve served this country proudly—shouldering the responsibilities of the world while others went to college or into family business. They’ve served in war zones in Germany, Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan and places some probably couldn’t pronounce or find on a world map.

These men and women have seen direct combat and the aftermath of battle, and experienced extreme threats to personal safety. They’ve lived through the unthinkable—rocket-propelled grenade and artillery attacks, seeing friends’ bodies ripped in half or faces blown off, handled human remains, intentionally killed enemy combatants and had to live with the haunting consequences of accidentally taking the life of women and children.

[quote position=”right” is_quote=”true”]I’d like to lay out some evidence to explain why our combat veterans are not weak. They are the strongest people I have ever met.[/quote]

In the war zone, our brave men’s and women’s safety is often in danger. Alert around the clock, they are in constant fear of attack, have concern over encountering explosive devices and come within inches of their own death. Even in peacetime, our military face significant stressors—assisting in disaster relief and other humanitarian efforts, exposure to hazards and harmful substances and strenuous physical demands.

I not only have treated veterans with PTSD but have studied PTSD extensively too, at several of our country’s most elite research institutions. I’d like to lay out some evidence to explain why our combat veterans are not weak. They are the strongest people I have ever met.

And, they typically do not want to burden people with their pain. Most would never hold a grudge, go public on social media with their experiences or blame anyone else for their difficulties. Thus, I feel it is important, as a clinician and researcher, to defend these men and women who defended us.

Lives never the same

Combat trauma is a powerful predictor for a number of mental health problems. PTSD is, of course, the most notable consequence, but veterans who have served in war zones also suffer alarming rates of depression, anxiety and substance abuse. And in recent years, the high suicide rates among U.S. service members have soared to an estimated 22 dying by their own hand each day.

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]Many of our nation’s veterans don’t receive the services they need and deserve or wait decades before seeking help. [/quote]

If knowing that isn’t enough to make most Americans—including you—hang their heads, pause in appreciation and potentially cry, I’m not sure what would.

Sadly, veterans with PTSD also have what health care professionals call a “reduced quality of life.” They go to work less and use more health care services.

Unless treated, PTSD typically runs a chronic course and haunts a person for many years or decades. Thus, the substantial burden of PTSD is not just on a veteran’s back, but on their families, their communities and society as well.

And as for those who, as you said, “can’t handle” war, a large research literature exists on risk factors that make a person more susceptible to develop PTSD. The science on risk factors for PTSD does not support the idea that veterans are weak! Longer deployment time, more severe combat exposure, more severe physical injury and traumatic brain injury are some of the variables that pack the biggest punch in contributing to PTSD.

Silent suffering adds to the burden

Years ago, while I was running large psychotherapy groups for Vietnam veterans and those who served in the first Persian Gulf war, one of my veterans said to me, “Why do you do what you do?” Without missing a beat, and straight from my heart, I said, “Because there but for the grace of God go I.”

[quote position=”right” is_quote=”true”]He thought he had buried the horrors deep in his soul. He was shocked when he thought I could see it.[/quote]

I have no doubt that had I directly experienced or witnessed the things that they did, that I would come home with intrusive, gruesome nightmares, daytime replays of faces who died recurring in my mind, continuing thoughts that I could have done something differently. These are not signs of being weak. These are signs of being human. Caring, loving, wonderful souls.

Many of our nation’s veterans don’t receive the services they need and deserve or wait decades before seeking help. There’s a host of reasons for this, including denial or minimization of problems, avoidance of trauma memories and reminders, stigma and wanting to solve problems on one’s own.

But the biggest barrier, in my clinician experience, and one that has been verified in research is concern over being seen as weak. And so they suffer in silence. For way too long.

“All these years, I thought was crazy”

About 10 years ago, one World War II veteran was referred to me by a primary care doc. Always dutiful, he came pleasantly to my office on his physician’s orders not really understanding why he was there. As I rattled off some signs and symptoms of trauma-related distress, his eyes widened as if to say, “How do you know what’s been happening to me?” He thought he had buried the horrors deep in his soul. He was shocked when he thought I could see it. This large, strong 80-plus year-old man openly sobbed and said, “All these years, I thought I was crazy, lazy, weak and bad.”

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]They deserve respect, not shaming.[/quote]

I wanted to cry too. This man suffered in silence for over 60 years. How sad is that?

In the line of duty and service to our country, men and women risk lasting impact on their mental and physical well-being, as well as on their families. They deserve respect, not shaming.

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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