After the House GOP pulled its nearly universally reviled proposed replacement for the Affordable Care Act, I confess I celebrated. There was really nothing of merit to the plan.

Yet we can’t forget that our health care system remains deeply flawed, especially for women, and I should know: I’ve spent the last year trying and failing to get a mammogram.


It’s not that I revel in the idea of having my breasts smashed between two unyielding plates of glass. I’m actually not looking forward to this appointment whatsoever. But, given that I am (a) over 40 years of age, (b) have a family history of breast cancer, (c) know my own mother’s cancer was caught by a regular annual screening, and (d) have an odd spot on my left breast my doctor would like to keep tabs on, I’ve gotten into the habit of having the procedure done twice a year.

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]I have stellar insurance and an odd spot on my left breast.[/quote]

But right now, despite having what’s widely considered stellar health insurance that would happily cover the vast majority of the costs associated with these procedures, I cannot get an appointment. Let me explain.

I was scheduled for my ordered mammogram about 14 months ago. It took a few months to get the appointment, even with my history, but, in my experience, that is par for the course. Unfortunately, I had to cancel that appointment the week before because of an unexpected work trip. Luckily, the nice folks at the facility penciled me in for an appointment about 10 days later.

Little did I know, it would be 10 days too late. I went to my appointment, only to learn that the order for the mammogram had expired. The woman at the front desk apologized profusely, but they would not be able to offer me the procedure that day. Instead, she sent me home with the instructions to call my gynecologist for a new order and told me to immediately call the main scheduling line to book a new appointment. Never mind the fact that gynecology and radiology are literally just two hallways down from one another at the facility. They apparently can’t talk to one another. It would have to be done by phone.

I tend to at least try to follow instructions when it comes to my health, so I did exactly as directed. But, alas, I would soon learn that a phone call would not do the trick. My OB-GYN could not update my mammogram order. Unfortunately, it had been too long since my last “well-woman” exam. A new order would be impossible unless I came in for another old-fashioned, touchy-feely breast exam. The nurse was sorry, but the system simply wouldn’t allow it. Would it be too much trouble to come back in for a 10-minute visit?

It would not have been—except even 10 minutes with a popular OB-GYN can be hard to come by. The scheduling nurse remained apologetic. But apparently only enough to squeeze me in for my new appointment nearly four months later.

[quote position=”full” is_quote=”true”]Some might say a mammogram simply isn’t worth the effort. But they don’t have my mother, a breast cancer survivor, regularly nagging them.[/quote]

After my doctor manually checked my breasts, she wrote up a new order for the mammogram. I knew to expect a six-week wait, minimum, to get back on the radiology schedule. But I tried to take it in stride. That is, until I was informed that my insurance would no longer be accepted at the doctor of my choice—thanks to cost negotiation issues between the facility and my insurance company. Not for a mammogram or anything else, for that matter. And, no, so sorry, that mammogram order would not be good at any other facility. I’d have to find a new OB-GYN and start from scratch.

At this point, some might think the universe is telling them that a mammogram simply isn’t worth the effort—they can just make do with regular self-checks at home. But they don’t have my mother, a breast cancer survivor, regularly nagging them to get in there and get it done.

So I found a new OB-GYN. Someone who is covered by my insurance. Here’s how it goes: I wait for my appointment and am finally handed a new and quite official-looking paper order for a mammogram with a quite strong admonishment from my doctor to schedule my screening immediately. I had every intention of obeying.

[quote position=”right” is_quote=”true”]Even 10 minutes with a popular OB-GYN can be hard to come by.[/quote]

Except when I call to schedule my mammogram, I learn that my order, despite its authoritative look, is not valid. It is missing an ICD-9 code and a checked box for “left, right, or bilateral.” I will have to get myself a new order before I can be scheduled. Not only that, but I’m told by a very unsympathetic voice on the other end of a phone line, radiology will not give me that mammogram, despite the new order or the length of time since my last screening—unless they get all of the films from my old facility, a task that will require getting a DVD burned in person.

I’m currently working on that last part. First, I have to call my new facility back and figure out what format they need. No one seems entirely sure, and I’ve gone unchecked all this time. There is one Planned Parenthood facility on the other side of town, and going there may be what I end up doing. But I shouldn’t have to—by making an appointment there, I’ll be taking a spot away from someone with lesser/no insurance. And unless I plan to continue going there in the future, it breaks my continuity of care.

I’d like to tell you that my experience is an anomaly, but as I’ve recounted this experience to other women I know, I’m learning that it is not. I shudder to think of the hoops that women with lesser means may have to go through to get this routine check, especially since we well know that catching cancer early is so critical to good outcomes, both medically and financially.

It seems nearly everyone has an opinion on women’s health—especially right now. A mammogram may seem insignificant, an inconvenience, really. Certainly, Senator Pat Roberts, a Kansas Republican, thought so little of them that he callously quipped, “I wouldn’t want to lose my mammograms,” when a reporter asked him about potential cuts to “essential health benefits” in the now-pulled American Health Care Act proposal.

Though he’s since apologized, I still don’t get the joke. A year is plenty of time for that spot to turn into something more sinister. It’s not a joke for my mother, whose cancer was caught early by a routine screening. It’s not a joke for other friends who have suffered their own bouts with breast cancer, who know all too well what it feels like to wonder if their insurance will cover all or only part of their cancer treatments—let alone important checks and screenings. It’s also not a joke to the families whose loved ones succumbed to the disease, leaving only their memory and, too often, crushing medical debt behind.

That’s why I’ll continue to call and pester and beg until I get my mammogram. Not only to shut my mother up—though that part certainly won’t hurt—but because it shouldn’t be this hard to do such a simple thing that is so critical to my long-term health.

  • New research says that if you want an entrepreneur to be successful, tell them they will fail
    Entrepreneurs tend to be more motivated by disbelievers, research finds.Photo credit: Canva

    Tackling a new business venture as a budding entrepreneur requires persistence and perseverance. Most entrepreneurs and start-ups fail, so it makes sense to think encouragement from friends, family, and peers would help morale. However, research suggests that what may be even more helpful is a baseless critic telling them they’ll fail.

    A team at North Carolina State University gathered research from three studies involving a combined 1,400 participants. They found evidence that the majority of those who defined themselves as entrepreneurs were more driven when told they would fail. In fact, the less credible the critic, the more persistence the entrepreneur displayed to prove them wrong.

    The researchers explained this “underdog effect” as part of Psychological Reactance Theory. The theory suggests that when a person’s freedom is challenged, they tend to push back harder and stronger than before. In this case, when someone tells an entrepreneur they’ll fail, the response tends to be, “Watch me!”

    Entrepreneurs offer their thoughts

    Entrepreneurs and business leaders spoke to GOOD to weigh in on this discovery. Many related to the entrepreneurs who felt more motivated after being disregarded by critics. However, they also urged caution against basing decisions and motivation solely on proving others wrong.

    “This resonates with me to a degree. I think someone should be able to intuit when their persistence has become too much,” said Nathan Silvernail, co-founder and CEO of Plantd. “Often, folks are unwilling to pivot when a pivot is required. They’re afraid of change or hesitant to course-correct even when all of their signals are telling them to. Stubbornness paired with ignorance is a dangerous combination in any regard. A truly successful person will understand what this means.”

    “Being told you might fail can absolutely strengthen someone’s resolve. But entrepreneurship isn’t just about endurance,” said Samyr Laine, co-founder and managing partner at Freedom Trail Capital. “If you ignore every piece of criticism because you’re trying to prove people wrong, you damage relationships and miss useful signals. Business is relational. Investors, customers, employees, they’re all giving you feedback in some form…You need resilience, but you also need self-awareness.”

    “Proving others wrong might push you to short-term wins, but it’s consistency over time that drives championship-level results,” said Christina Reckard, president of the Pat Summitt Leadership Group. “The entrepreneurs that make it the distance can’t wait for a critic to give them the fire inside they need to motivate them, they need to have a great product or service, with the customer at the center, and the self-discipline to pursue excellence regardless of the obstacles.”

    “For those of us who don’t have unlimited personal resources, entrepreneurship takes against-the-odds tenacity…If you’re deterred by a dismissive word, you’re not an entrepreneur for very long,” said Matt Graber, co-owner of Cool Hand Movers. “When acute adversity hits, or is even implied, the urge to swim upstream naturally kicks into high gear. Is this a healthy dynamic? Probably not. The results aren’t surprising but I wouldn’t go searching for negative reinforcement in place of traditional coaching and productivity tools.”

    Psychology experts weigh in

    Psychiatrists and therapists who spoke to GOOD explained why entrepreneurs can get a boost from such negativity. However, they also warned that persistence can turn into stubbornness, causing entrepreneurs to miss opportunities to learn and improve.

    “When a person feels as though their competence is being challenged, they may become more motivated to prove themselves,” said Krista Walker, a therapist and clinical director at The Ohana. “This may be especially true for entrepreneurs, in particular. That is because their identity may be tied to their business or performance. It can feel like a personal challenge.”

    “When we cling too tightly to an idea, an approach, or a specific outcome, we lose flexibility,” said psychiatrist Dr. MaryEllen Eller. “It can become easy to confuse commitment with rigidity and stubbornness for strength.”

    Balance is key

    “Being told ‘you’ll fail’ or ‘you can’t’ can actually make us want it more. It fuels a drive to self discover autonomy and prove your abilities,” said psychiatrist Dr. Sam Zand. “However when this fuel is from resentment, it can become unhealthy if it takes over who you truly are. Some of the biggest entrepreneurs use stories and experiences of doubt as fuel, but stay open to constructive criticism and learning.”

    Based on the thoughts of these professionals, it seems best to pay attention to any data that conflicts with your vision in case changes need to be made.

  • These seven simple phrases could be the secret to deepening trust and romance in your relationship
    A happy couple enjoys coffee togetherPhoto credit: Canva
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    These seven simple phrases could be the secret to deepening trust and romance in your relationship

    If you want a more secure relationship a Harvard expert recommends using these seven phrases.

    Maintaining a deep sense of connection and trust in a long term relationship is often easier said than done. Even for couples who have been together for years, the daily grind can sometimes dull the spark of romance. However, Dr. Cortney Warren, a psychologist trained at Harvard Medical School, has identified a specific set of verbal habits that distinguish highly successful, trusting couples from those who struggle.

    Dr. Warren recently shared seven phrases that secure partners use every day to reinforce their commitment. These small shifts in language are designed to foster vulnerability, safety, and a sense of shared purpose.

    The first few phrases focus on the core of any partnership: the belief that your partner is on your side.

    @drcortneywarren

    Feeling that twinge of jealousy or insecurity in your relationship? It happens to all of us, but how you respond can make all the difference. Instead of immediately reacting, try this: pause and ask yourself: What does my reaction to this situation say about me? Is it about fear of being unloved? A belief that you’re “not enough”? Often, our strongest emotional reactions are more about our own insecurities than about our partner’s actions. Taking the time to reflect on your triggers, where they come from, and how you can strengthen your self-esteem can help you communicate with your partner in a healthier, more productive way. This clip is from my recent conversation with Shanenn Bryant on the Top Self Podcast. #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence #HealthyRelationships #JealousyTriggers #TopSelfPodcast #RelationshipAdvice

    ♬ original sound – DrCortneyWarren – DrCortneyWarren

    1. “I trust you.”

    Simple, to the point, and clear. This communicates that you know your partner and that you believe they have your best interest in heart, even if you get into an argument. It also allows them to feel safe making some decisions on both of your behalf.

    2. “You see me as I am.”

    This not only tells your partner that they know all there is to know about you without fear of hiding parts of yourself, but that you’re comfortable being vulnerable should a difficult subject come up. It communicates that you trust your partner will respond with compassion, not judgment, while implying that they can trust you to do the same in return.

    Dr. Cortney Warren, relationship advice, Harvard psychologist, building trust, healthy communication, romance tips, non-verbal cues, marriage success, intimacy, partnership
    A couple on a romantic date. Credit: Canva

    3. “We’ll get through this.”

    Arguments, fights, and conflicts happen in even the most solid relationships. However, saying this phrase reinforces that while things still need to be sorted out, there is no intention of breaking the relationship over the disagreement. It allows more open communication and reiterates that it is you and your partner against the problem, not each other.

    4. “Go have fun with your friends/Thanks for giving me space!”

    If your relationship is solid, time apart shouldn’t be a threat. Alone time is natural and, frankly, healthy. Respecting your partner’s independence in turn respects yours.

    Dr. Cortney Warren, relationship advice, Harvard psychologist, building trust, healthy communication, romance tips, non-verbal cues, marriage success, intimacy, partnership. Credit: Youtube

    5. “I miss you.”

    As a counterbalance to the previous phrase, “I miss you” isn’t an indicator of being too clingy unless you’re not offering your partner the trust to have space. It’s just a nice way of saying that you look forward to being together and builds upon that when you reunite, whether it’s after a long business trip or later in the evening after work.

    6. “Let’s make a plan!”

    A growing relationship means mutually planning and investing in each other’s futures to further turn “your plans” and “my plans” into “our plans.” This phrase relays to your partner that you want them around for the long haul.

    7. “Can we talk?”

    Communication issues are one of the primary reasons relationships fail. Asking this simple and direct question accompanied with the previous phrases as foundations in your relationship will allow trust for you to ask and be asked when something troubling occurs with either of you.

    While verbal communication is important in sustaining relationships, it’s good to incorporate non-verbal gestures of support, love, and trust, too.

    Now, pairing these loving wordless gestures that expertscounselors, and psychologists recommend with the previous seven phrases could help your relationship develop deeper connection and trust.

    1. Eye contact

    Seeing eye-to-eye literally helps you both see eye-to-eye better when discussing a difficult topic or when you want to express loving attention to your partner.

    2. Smile

    Smiling is a nonverbal cue to reiterate that your partner’s presence is welcomed and safe. It also reminds your partner that you’re both okay, too.

    3. Supportive touch

    Caressing a shoulder, a peck on the forehead, holding hands, or a tight hug—any of these and all of these are ways to provide comfort and reassurance along with your words. It could also be a way to indicate your interest in further intimacy.

    4. Mirroring

    Matching your partner’s posture and pose helps foster connection while also indicating you’re absorbing what they’re verbally communicating to you. So, when you adjust your posture to meet theirs when they’re discussing something important to them, they’ll know you think it’s important, too. On the other end, if you match their relaxed pose, they’ll in turn feel more relaxed, too.

    5. Enjoy quiet time together

    Being able to enjoy the silence in the same room bolsters feelings of safety and comfort. It shows that you and your partner don’t feel panicked or stressed about the other feeling bored, awkward, and you don’t cary the pressure of needing to be entertained/entertaining. Shared silence is precious in a relationship.

    6. Handwritten notes

    Okay, this might be a cheat technically, but written notes and letters can be left for your partner to find when they wake up after you have left for work early, on the kitchen table, or on a bathroom mirror as ways to express those previous seven phrases. For some people, written communication is much easier for them than speaking, too, so there’s that factor to consider.

    7. Acts of service

    This is a bit of a grab bag as what acts of service are depends on who you are in the relationship with. It could be making them coffee each morning the way they like it so they don’t have to. It could be doing a chore they hate doing. It could be cooking them their favorite food after finding out that they had a long day. These acts remind your partner that they’re known and safe with you.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • New Chinese study suggests meat eaters are more likely to reach 100 than people on plant-based diets
    A man eating a piece of meat. Photo credit: Canva

    While there are general guidelines, a healthy diet can still look different from person to person. Some people eat meat, stick to a vegetarian diet, or go fully vegan for a variety of reasons. With that in mind, a recent study suggests something that may seem surprising at first. The study indicates that eating meat could increase your chances of reaching 100 years old.

    Starting in 1998, research from the Chinese Longitudinal Healthy Longevity Survey followed the diets of more than 5,200 adults aged 80 and above who were free of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and cancer. The group included omnivores, pesco-vegetarians, ovo-lacto vegetarians, and strict vegans. In 2018, twenty years after the research began, results showed that among the 1,459 centenarians, a higher percentage were omnivores compared to the other groups.

    One might think this would debunk the idea that plant-based or vegan diets are healthy, but that’s not necessarily the case. Vegetarian and vegan diets have been shown to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, hypertension, dementia, and cancer, among other ailments. However, the results of the research could be due to our bodies’ needs in later years.

    As our bodies age, it becomes harder to maintain muscle mass and bone density. On top of that, our appetites tend to decline. Animal-based foods like meat are natural sources of protein and calcium that can help prevent declines in muscle strength and bone density, as well as malnutrition in adults who eat less. So while a plant-based diet might be more beneficial to younger people, a more omnivorous diet could be better for great-grandpa.

    “Older adults may face distinct nutritional challenges,” said researcher Kaiyue Wang of Fudan University in Shanghai. “Our study suggests that dietary recommendations for the oldest-old should emphasise balance and nutritional adequacy, rather than strict avoidance of animal foods, especially for underweight older adults.”

    However, this doesn’t mean that you should call grandma to make sure she’s eating bacon cheeseburgers. The National Institute on Aging recommends that older adults eat seafood, low-fat dairy products, beans, lentils, peas, and fortified soy products to get their protein fix. It cannot be stressed enough that while eating meat, per this study, appears to be beneficial to older people, that doesn’t mean they should switch to an all-meat diet.

    As with diets in general at any age, lean, unprocessed meat is preferred, with an emphasis on fish and poultry, as well as how they are prepared. Frying meat tends to add excessive fat, while certain sauces paired with meat dishes can add fat, sugar, sodium, and unnecessary calories.

    As mentioned previously, a healthy diet looks different from person to person depending on their age, needs, and health challenges. It’s best to consult with your personal physician to establish the best diet for you, or if you want to make any changes to your current one. They can also refer you to a licensed dietitian who can help, whether you prefer turkey, tofurkey, both, or neither.

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