My Beloved Crabtown,


I could live anywhere in the world—in storybook capitals or pastoral hamlets greatly desired—but, God help me, I choose to cohabitate with you.

You are, by far, the longest relationship of my life; nearly six decades save for a brief fling in Hollywood.

[It was just money, baby—didn’t mean a thing.]

To abide you—a salty old broad with harsh edges and ridiculous hairdos; the way your progeny throws trash from moving cars and believes the best way to cross the street is to walk (in fuzzy slippers and pajama bottoms) directly into traffic…

To put up with all of your bullshit I pass our assignations inside a sanctuary sculpted from more comforting material.

The evening sun setting over the Patapsco River—where Francis Scott Key wrote “The Star-Spangled Banner” 200 years ago—fires pink and orange, a thousand shattered panes of the shuttered bottle cap factory at the end of my block.

But in the morning, as I lay supine before the city of my fancy, it warms stained glass brilliant with all the good things.

People willing to lend a hand when their own cupboards are bare; aging, lion-hearted stevedores holding the door to the coin laundry for young women comforting their children in Spanish; tugboats churning past the 120-foot by 70-foot Domino Sugar sign while saints sweep the sidewalk in front of the St. Jude Shrine—you are not hopeless, Lovey, no matter what the TV says. Just a venial sin or two away from Lexington Market.

On land donated by Revolutionary War hero John Eager Howard, the market dates to 1782: a bazaar of grilled kielbasa, fresh roasted peanuts and true crab cakes, delicacies as big around as a softball, deep fried or broiled to a golden brown, the lump back fin of callinectes sapidus—beautiful swimmers of Chesapeake lore—bound with the merest dusting of breadcrumbs.

I write to you all hopped up on love and mercy, for despite the frequent atrocities (east to west, some staged outside those same market doors), everybody does the best they can.

Don’t they?

Love for your hard-headed belief that hard work (both underground and legit) will carry the day, though your bounty of plentiful jobs—good pay, good benefits—is long diminished. And mercy for those who missed every boat that passed your way.

Four miles east of Lexington Market, I pour my heart into an old reporter’s notebook over a plate of French fries and gravy at G&A Coney Island Hot Dogs, just around the corner from a library marked by a bust of native son Frank Zappa on a stainless steel pillar.

This is the Holy Land of my imagination, where my family—Polish on Mom’s side, Dad’s parents from Spain and a part of Italy called Western Pennsylvania—has lived since the 1920s; where my grandmothers bought me baby clothes near a popcorn store that made its own caramel and a blind man sold pencils while drumming his fingernails against a meatloaf pan, the sound his fingernails made becoming deeper as the tray filled with nickels and dimes.

Love for rebirth: a Peruvian restaurant specializing in rotisserie chicken now sends the smell of fire-roasted fowls onto Eastern Avenue where the popcorn store once filled the air with hot caramel.

Mercy for the left-behinds: the blind man has been replaced ten-fold by beggars, all of whom can see.

Yet passion can be a many splintered thing and, dear Crabtown—del mio cuore as they say at the century old DiPasquale’s market two streets away from the hot dog diner—let me be clear.

Though many tens of thousands of my fellow Baltimoreans are hostage to your often lethal charms, I am not. They do not have the luxury of storing up treasures of amber narrative with which to build a cathedral. Or the middle-class option to leave it behind if reality intrudes on make-believe one too many times.

I have been lucky in love—unharmed for many a year while cruising every corner of your 92 square miles—but I don’t underestimate you.

I know that anywhere, at any moment, I may be kissing your cheek for the last time.

Yours,

Rafael Alvarez

Rafael Alvarez is a fiction writer and screenwriter who learned the craft of storytelling as a young reporter on the City Desk of the Baltimore Sun and wrote for the first three seasons of HBO drama The Wire. His latest collection of short storieswhich won praise from James McBrideis Tales from the Holy Land.

Tweet and instagram us with #GOODCitiesProject to share your love for your city.

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


Explore More Articles Stories

Articles

Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away

Articles

14 images of badass women who destroyed stereotypes and inspired future generations

Articles

Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

Articles

11 hilarious posts describe the everyday struggles of being a woman