It’s difficult to imagine what life was like before the smartphone. Older Millennials and even Boomers would now have difficulty living day-to-day life without calls, texts, or notifications drawing your attention. It’s gotten to the point that we have to develop modern day etiquette for phone use and the verdict is in: You should put your phone face down on the table when visiting or having a meal. It’s not just good courtesy, but it’s good for your phone, too.
Let’s start with why it’s good for your phone.
Placing your phone face down on the table will save your battery. This is because, alternatively, if you put your phone face-up, it will light up with notifications each and every time. Keeping it face down will keep it dark and save those notifications for when you’re actually looking at it. While a notification won’t make or break a battery’s power, it adds up over time, especially if you have notifications on for several apps or if you’re in multiple active group chats. It’s best not to waste any power on notifications that you’re trying to ignore anyway.
This leads neatly into the other reason why you should place your phone face down: it’s a signal for both yourself and the person you’re speaking with. The signal to yourself is “I need to set any distractions aside.” The signal it sends to the other person is “You have my full attention.”
Whether the conversation you’re having is a dinner date, a business meeting, or coffee with a friend, placing your phone face down on the table will communicate that the other person’s words and feelings are of higher priority. They will feel heard even before a single word is said. It prevents your eyes from wandering back to your phone when it lights up to help you maintain meaningful eye contact. It also helps keep the other person from seeing texts or notifications you’d rather keep private, too.
There are some people who suggest not even putting your phone on the table at all and just keeping it silent in your pocket or purse during your meeting, but a Pew Research Poll found that 89% of cell phone users have used their phones during a social gathering. Keep in mind that while most people know it’s impolite to chat or text while conversing with someone else, a person may want to have their phone present and available to show pictures, share memes, or look something up based on what’s being discussed with the person in front of them.
While it’s best to keep your phone face down during conversation, there may be some wiggle room. For example, if your job requires you to be reached at a moment’s notice or if your partner is pregnant and could give birth at any time, a brief explanation would make the person you’re talking to face-to-face understand why you’ll need to be on high alert. That said, you may want to monitor your phone use in general to see if it’s impacting your health.
So the next time you head to a business lunch, brunch with your friends, or dinner with the family at home, keep the phone face down at the table. It’ll give you a break from digital bombardment and save your battery power while also keeping your company feeling heard and engaged.
