Here at GOOD, we live every week like it’s sandwich week. This week, we’re celebrating the real thing with 50-state sandwich maps, wrap screeds, and the great philosophical question:

Is a burrito a sandwich? In 2006, Pennsylvania Judge Jeffrey A. Locke was tasked with establishing legal precedent on the question. The dispute: A local Panera Bread franchise had sued to block a Qdoba Mexican Grill from opening in its shopping complex, citing its contract to be the sole sandwich shop on the block. Qdoba makes the bulk of its income selling burritos. In Panera’s view, that put Qdoba in the sandwich business.


Locke decided the issue [PDF] using a dictionary and what he called “common sense.” He cited Webster’s definition of “sandwich”—”two thin pieces of bread, usually buttered, with a thin layer (as of meat, cheese, or savory mixture) spread between them”—then provided his own understanding of a burrito, a food item “typically made with a single tortilla and stuffed with a choice filling of meat, rice, and beans.” Victory: Qdoba.

Yet Locke’s determination raises more questions than it answers. Placing the disconcerting condiment issue aside (usually buttered?), Locke pitted two slices of bread against one tortilla. How, then, would one legally classify an open-faced construction built atop a single piece of bread? How about a quesadilla that employs two tortillas, sandwiched together? Panera Bread declined to appeal over these outstanding questions, and the legal definition remains troublingly vague.

Here at sandwich week, we’ve spent the last five days celebrating the staple of the American lunch hour. But what are we really celebrating when we celebrate the sandwich? Is it filling spread between two slices of bread, as Locke claims? “Sandwich,” after all, is a verb as well as a noun. Must the filling be sandwiched between bread? Is an Oreo a sandwich? A quesadilla? Is a KFC Double Down a sandwich?

Can a food become a sandwich simply by calling itself a sandwich? Does an open-faced sandwich constitute a sandwich, despite the lack of sandwiching employed in its construction? If so, is bruschetta a sandwich? Buttered toast? Pizza?

What if you fold the pizza in half? Must the unifying exterior item be split in two in order to constitute a sandwich? Is a hot dog a sandwich? A submarine roll split in the middle, but with a hinge still hanging on? Is an omelete a sandwich?

A note on methodology: Is it necessary to consume the sandwich with one’s own two hands? If one were to douse a sandwich in gravy, would it neutralize the sandwich, converting it into nothing more than a bread-based entree?

If we’ll accept a hinge in a sandwich, what about a filling that’s encased on two sides? On all sides? Is a kolache a sandwich? A pasty? A corn dog? A calzone? An egg roll? A dumpling? A pop tart? Is a wrap a sandwich?

Is a burrito a sandwich?

The courts are not the only arm of the U.S. government to weigh in on this question. The United States Department of Agriculture’s inspection guidelines provide an even more confounding definition of the food [PDF]. A “sandwich “must contain at least 35 percent cooked meat and no more than 50 percent bread,” the USDA decided. A burrito, on the other hand, is a “Mexican style sandwich-like product consisting of a flour tortilla.” Sandwich-like. But in what way is it like a sandwich? The USDA doesn’t say. Complicating matters, a sandwich built with two slices of bread is controlled by the FDA; only an open-faced sandwich lies within the USDA’s purview.

Merriam-Webster’s current definition is perhaps the most useless. A sandwich is “two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between,” the dictionary has decided. Otherwise, it’s “one slice of bread covered with food.” Or else it’s “something resembling a sandwich.” What is a sandwich? Who is Spartacus?

I may not know what a sandwich is, exactly, but I do know that it’s made for everyone. It cannot be defined by courts of law, government directives, or books alone. Its definition must be decided by the people.

For insight into the popular view, I turned to Ian Chillag, a journalist who routinely documents his sandwich consumption for NPR’s Sandwich Mondays. Unsurprisingly, NPR takes a liberal view of the sandwich. “We define sandwich as a ‘protein encased in bread product,’” Chillag says. “That way it can include things like the Dunkin’ Donuts Pancake Sausage Bites, which is barely even a food, let alone a sandwich. We just figure the more open our definition, the wider the variety of things we can eat and still refer to it as work.” To Sandwich Mondays, a burrito is a sandwich.

To settle on his own definition of the sandwich, Dan Pashman of blog and podcast The Sporkful returned to the source. “In matters of definition like these, I am an originalist,” Pashman says. Citing the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, Pashman defines a sandwich as a “food sandwiched between two other foods” made of “two discrete exterior components” that can “readily be handled” without soiling one’s hands. To Pashman, “The basic concept of [Sandwich’s] original oeuvre was a piece of meat between two pieces of bread. Taken literally, this would seem to indicate that bread is a necessity for sandwich classification. However, I choose to look at the Earl’s intent. His intention was to be able to eat his meat with his hands, by enclosing the meat in something that he could pick up without getting himself especially messy.” A burrito, then, is not a sandwich.

Jon Chonko of sandwich documentary blog Scanwiches proposes a bipartisan solution. “I’m conservative, but also alternatively very liberal in terms of the sandwich definition,” Chonko says. “Liberal, in the sense that anything between two slices of bread is a sandwich, like a hamburger is technically a sandwich because of the buns. Anything that is handheld should be considered a sandwich, so again a hamburger qualifies.” However: “wraps, for example, are kind of their own thing; a wrap and a burrito are definitely not sandwiches,” he says. Chonko’s girlfriend disagrees on the wraps issue: “She thinks that they belong with sandwiches as much as a hot dog,” says Chonko. But a wrap is not a sandwich. And neither is a burrito.

And what of the architects of the burrito? Do they consider themselves sandwich artists? After ordering a burrito at a local Mexican joint recently, I asked the cashier whether he felt the product constituted a sandwich. He considered the question. “No,” he decided ultimately. Why? “A sandwich requires a cut,” he explained.

The explanation is absurd—I could cut a burrito.
Sandwich, burrito, lasagna: There is no why. In the end, I must approach the question practically. No unifying theory exists to classify your meal by appearance, ingredient, or construction method. The sandwich is a social compact between lunchers: We have come to a consensus on a group of foods that we will call “sandwiches,” one that defies even the most obvious attempts at classification. Consider the open-faced sandwich: Nothing is being sandwiched here. But somehow, the open-face has muscled its way into our collective understanding of “sandwich” by strength of will alone.
Would a Chinese restaurant list “sandwiches” on its menu, containing one item, “egg roll”? When asked what kind of sandwich one desires for lunch, could one reasonably reply, “a dumpling?” One day, perhaps. “The gut check for me is if I look at it and immediately say ‘oh yeah, that’s a sandwich,’” Chonko says. That degree of universal cultural acceptance doesn’t happen overnight. The burrito has a long time to wait.
Photo (cc) via Flickr user Critical Moss
  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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