Matthew Hussey Answers The Age-Old Question: Who Pays On A First Date?

Over the past century, male and female gender roles have changed significantly. But, in some ways, things are still the same. A recent poll of over 17,000 American men found that 75 percent felt guilty if they didn’t pay on a first date. So, if most men are paying for the first date, at what point in the relationship should partners go Dutch? International dating expert and best-selling author of Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey, had a very thoughtful response to the question at a recent seminar.

In a video recently posted to his Facebook page, a woman at his seminar wondered if she should start going Dutch after dating a man for five months. Hussey was flabbergasted by the question because it seemed wildly unfair that a man should have to pay for such a long time. So, he asked the crowd of women at his event: “When you’re on a date, who should pay?” and their reaction was unanimous, “Men!”

“You can moan at it all you want, but the moment you say to a guy ‘You have to pay for my time,’ you’re saying ‘This relationship isn’t equal,’ ” Hussey told the crowd. “If you go on a date with a guy and you don’t offer to pay your share, you weren’t taught right. But if you go on a date and he doesn’t pay, he wasn’t taught right.” He then suggested that men and women treat each other like friends. “I wouldn’t say to my best friend, ‘Let’s always go out to dinner and you always pay.’ I’d say ‘let’s be teammates here in whatever way we can.’ ”