Breaking News About Mars!

No, we're not talking about how a gigantic meteor crashing into the planet Mars billions of years ago has finally illuminated for the scientific...

No, we're not talking about how a gigantic meteor crashing into the planet Mars billions of years ago has finally illuminated for the scientific community the root of the vast topographic discrepancy between its north and south hemispheres.

We're talking about chocolate.

Mars candy will team up with IBM and the U.S. Department of Agriculture-Agricultural Research Service to undertake what is perhaps modern science's most important crusade: the sequencing and analysis of the entire cocoa genome.

For all of you who don't know off the top of your heads what immense benefit sequencing a genome can hold for the future of chocolate, well, let us just say that it will foster more directed breeding of cocoa plants, and possibly even enhance the quality of these plants, which are in peril in their natural habitat as forces like climate change and tropical disease threaten the predominantly small African farms where they are grown.

And, once the scientific community is able to fully understand the genome of cocoa, they will be able to extract it from the center of petrified amber and replicate it on an island far away from its natural habi-- oh wait.

In conclusion, it's really great that Mars is leading the trifecta of candy technology above all other chocolate companies, since their chocolate (M&Ms, Snickers) tastes the most like wax.

Photo via

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