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The Election Horoscope

Why Vote? Reason 1,149 YOU SHOULD VOTE BECAUSE If watching the news and talking to your friends hasn't...

Why Vote? Reason 1,149YOU SHOULD VOTE BECAUSE If watching the news and talking to your friends hasn't convinced you how important this election is, maybe the stars can.


Are you inspired to rush out and participate in the great privilege of American democracy? Or are you fed up with the whole damned thing? It all depends on which news channel you happen to be watching. If you tune in to the "liberal" guys and even think about voting for McCain, then you're accused of being a horrible racist clinging to the practices of an administration that has brought us to the edge of the abyss. According to the other news station, however, if you go for Obama, then you're secretly colluding with the Islamic fundamentalists and you're nothing more than a traitor, against all the values for which our Founding Fathers lived and died.Astrologically, the polarity that exists in this election between the Republicans and the Democrats is a symbolic contest of the celestial opposition between the planets Saturn and Uranus. It's a rather rare occurrence and will culminate around election time and last through 2009. McCain is a Virgo, and if you know any members of that sign, you know that in spite of feeling lousy from the nonstop pressure, Virgos have to continue to perform their duties as if nothing was hurting them. Why the Republicans would want to put forth a man who is obviously in constant pain and present him as excited and energized might seem like a mystery. The reason is that with Saturn strong in all Virgos' horoscope right now, McCain represents the fatherly ticket, restoring the nation to a more stable and prosperous position. Saturn rules order and the conservative way. Seen from another point of view, however, it's likely to mean four more years of Bush policy.The Democrats, on the other hand, want us to believe that a vote for Obama is a vote for refreshing vitality. Obama, a Leo, represents Uranus, the revolutionary planet of change. According to his people, his dynamism and vitality will be able to handle the drastic change we need in America. Forget the fact that he talks as if he is giving a high school graduation speech.The Presidential Election of 2008 is going to be the weirdest one we've ever seen. And as astrologers know, with Uranus coming to the end of Pisces in a year or so, and with Pluto about to enter Capricorn, this country is in for it, big time. Pluto in Capricorn means tighten your belts, and no frills. And normally sweet Pisces in unpredictable Uranus is going to cause everyone a veritable tsunami: Americans are about to experience a social, economic, and political upheaval not seen in at least 80 years. And no matter who ends up in the White House, the next five years will see a tremendous nationwide struggle between the fight for individual rights and liberties and a crackdown against rebellion that will make the 1960s look tame.So what to do? As a Virgo, McCain has a sincere and humble desire to serve, and Saturn does give him prudence, thrift, and forethought. With Saturn in his zodiac sign, however, he does seem mighty creaky around the edges. Not to say that Virgos are dried up and toxic. It's just that Saturn tends to age people before their time, making them worried they, like the old lady on television, will fall and not be able to get up. The influence of Saturn in the sign of Virgo will be strong through 2009, and for all of us that means big issues of health care and employment. It would be wonderful if health care were available to everyone, but as long as the pharmaceutical companies are hawking new diseases like restless leg syndrome, such universal care will not be around the bend.So then, should you vote for Obama? He may truly identify with the altruistic revolutionary ideas, upheavals, and unexpected reversals that always come with the planet Uranus. Don't ever forget, however, that he's a Leo, so utter selflessness is just not part of his DNA. There's no question that he radiates energy, youth, and even the anger young people feel when they sense they are being ignored or misunderstood. But don't be naïve enough to think that race is not the giant issue; with Pluto still in Sagittarius, it is. And although he is flying under the Let's-Clean-House banner, remember that Obama is the symbol of Uranus-the planet of utter unpredictability-so do not bet on the end of the story. The twists will be crazier than anything Hitchcock on acid could have dreamed up.If you're an American citizen and of voting age, there are two things you should know: First, a planetary opposition such as the one occurring now drives people to polarize in their positions, but in reality they are joined and thus much closer philosophically than one might think. Because of the economic crisis that will affect everyone, neither candidate can avoid the political bleeding between party lines this election will bring. As far as the rhetoric goes, remember this: Campaign speeches and promises are as sincere as the things a guy tells his date when he wants to get laid.Second, if you do watch the news, turn down the sound so you can't hear the mind-numbing, brain-bending demagoguery. When the candidates appear, watch their eyes and their body movements. Then consider making your decision based on something more visceral. Maybe you should vote the one who brings back fond memories of either the kindly old grandpa who loved and protected you when you were little, or the cute guy you should have married in high school.We are living on the brink of an ideological transformation on these American shores that hasn't been seen in a very long time. The presidential election of 2008 will someday be seen as the defining moment of a revolution that will change this country forever. What part do you want to play in it?