Every Wednesday, GOOD’s Roué in Residence pens a tribute to cocktails befitting the times. This week: Top-notch Margaritas and Mint Juleps to help you celebrate some new holiday math: Derby Day + Cinco de Mayo = Bartholomew Cubbins Day!

Drinking and millinery go together like gin and tonic water. Just ask Raymond Chandler, or SpongeBob Squarepants. Or if you prefer crowdsourcing to celebrity endorsements, just look out your window this Saturday, when the calendar unifies two great spring holidays for those who like to sip cocktails while sporting chapeaux: Derby Day and Cinco de Mayo. I tip my boozy beanie to my editor Amanda Hess, who summed up this weekend’s outlook perfectly via e-mail: “How many hats are people going to be wearing?? So many hats.”


I’ve christened this magical conjoined bacchanal Bartholomew Cubbins Day, in honor of that great hat enthusiast of childhood literature. Apparently, Jared Leto is already on board.

How does one traditionally celebrate this holiday I just invented? With margaritas, mint juleps, and the topper of your choice, of course. I’ve checked with your liver, and it promises to give you a pass on the whole “mixing different base spirits” thing for just one day. (It also told me to tell you to stop trying to make that fedora happen, but what does your liver know about fashion?)

First up: a margarita with a mezcal hat, the only margarita you’ll ever need.

Cubbins Day Margarita (aka Tommy Girl Margarita) (aka Seriously The Best Margarita Ever OMG)

2 oz. decent tequila (a resposado is always a good call, but the most important thing is that you find something made 100 percent from blue agave—no mixtos, por favor. I like Espolon Reposado, which you can probably find for around $20 a fifth.
1 oz. fresh-squeezed lime juice
½ oz., or slightly less, organic agave nectar
½ oz. crema de mezcal

Combine all ingredients except crema de mezcal in a shaker with cracked ice. Shake. Strain over new ice in a rocks glass or tumbler—rimmed with salt, if that’s how you roll. Float crema de mezcal on top by pouring it slowly over the back of a spoon. Serve with a straw.

I understand if the second whimsical name I chose for this little taste of perfection reminds you of Aziz Ansari or some horrendous fragrance, but “Tommy Girl” actually honors the twin origins of this recipe. Tequila, lime juice, and agave in the Golden Ratio of 2:1:½—no orange liqueur—is the margarita made famous by San Francisco tequila palace Tommy’s. The float of crema de mezcal is the brainchild of Santa Fe’s Cowgirl BBQ, where I recently enjoyed a local mountain yak burger and some of the best beverages I’ve ever tasted.

With the mezcal sombrero, the Tommy’s Margarita blossoms into something totally new and unexpected. By turns smoky, sweet, sour, boozy, and salty (if you opt to rim the glass), it combines every major flavor short of umami. Make sure to give your guests a straw to let them modulate the smoke inhalation.

It would be exaggerating, but not by much, to say this margarita has changed my life. I can’t think of a single thing I’d rather sip on a reasonably sunny evening. That said, I am not exaggerating at all when I urge you to sip slowly. You’ve got to pace yourself if you’re going to trade your sombrero for a feathered Kentuckian monstrosity and sip a julep while enjoying the ritualized animal cruelty and wagering that come with a fully-savored Cubbins Day. Consider this strategy: put on one hat for every margarita (or other cocktail) you imbibe. If you can still balance all of the hats by post time, you’re sober enough for a julep—or ready for your Cirque du Soleil audition.

Cubbins Day No-Nonsense Mint Julep
Adapted from Cocktail: A Drinks Bible for the 21st Century, by Paul Harrington

3 oz. bourbon
6-8 sprigs mint
2-3 tablespoons simple syrup
4-5 drops crème de pêche (optional)

Mix ingredients in a pint glass. Add three pieces of ice and muddle for about a minute. Let stand for several minutes. Strain into a glass filled with finely-shaved ice. Top with a mint sprig and serve with a straw.

To ready it for Cubbins day, I haven’t done much to the recipe I’ve used to brighten up my Derby Days for a decade or so—just added the uncontroversial reminder that peach and bourbon taste good together. Do limit your experimentation with crème de pêche to a drop at a time, though. A single dash of the stuff can overpower any drink—even one with two full slugs of whiskey behind it.

Since the drinking, racing, and the hats are all remnants of preexisting spring holidays, I welcome suggestions for brand-spanking new Cubbins Day traditions (except for anything involving the music of Mr. Leto’s band, 30 Seconds to Mars. Those I will veto). I’m sure we can all put our heads together and come up with some by the next time it rolls around: 2018. Unless, of course, we’re all balancing too many hats to move our necks.

Send your Cubbins Day suggestions, and/or pictures of your guests after several hats, to mixologymailbag@gmail.com.

Photo via (cc) Flickr user flickr4jazz

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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