GOOD

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Barack Obama, 44th President of these here United States of America, had every chance to tank his daughter Malia’s 18th birthday this week. He could have told some mortifying anecdote from way back, the type to provide fodder for countless hours of therapy later. He could have gone in for some dopey future-gazing about, say, all the happy babies he pictures Malia having someday. But no, America’s Cool Dad nailed it yet again, with a heartfelt and human Happy Birthday that’s sure to make you melt.


That is, of course, unless you’re an awful person.

Turns out that some people on the internet (we are above naming names) feel that such a lovely serenade warrants deconstruction. Instead of being overcome by the tender bond between the nation’s most powerful man and his daughter, these pedants instead choose to brand the rendition “off-key”, then seek out “singing experts” to back them up.

“He just picked some key out of the air—he picked G major—and that’s too high for him. He needed to sing in E major or D major,” says some jerk.

Let’s all just take a deep breath, people. We need to step back, reflect, and not give in to our basest impulses. We are more than a knee-jerk snark machine, are we not? If we can’t allow for sweet and simple moments of real human connection, then we might as well throw on a Make America Great Again cap and call it a day.

Let’s do better.

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