She taught them the real meaning of the word
It’s hard to control what comes out of a child’s mouth. But every parent has the ability to turn their child’s words into a teachable moment. Recently, Allison Kimmey’s daughter became upset with her after being told to get out of the pool. In a huff, she called her mother “fat.” Instead of feeling insulted, Kimmey took the opportunity to explain the important role fat plays in our bodies. “The truth is, I am not fat,” she said. “No one is fat. It’s not something you can be. But I do have fat. We all have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy.”
She also explained how everyone’s body is different and that it’s important to respect and love what makes us unique. “Some people have a lot [of fat], and others don’t have very much,” Kimmy said. “But that doesn’t mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand?” And just like that, both of her children knew not only what fat is from a biological perspective, but how we should treat those who have more or less of it than us.
“Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I’m going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable.
Since we don’t call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest.”
“No matter how much you change—your circumstances, your body, your finances, your job, your relationship status—you are worthy of JOY, LOVE, OPPORTUNITY, and probably the most important and least received: RESPECT.”
“What if this is how your body wants to be? What if you stopped trying to fix her and just started listening to her. What if you just let her be in this moment. Be. Just be.”
“Hey mama, in case you need a little reminding: You are your child’s greatest mentor. Period. End of discussion. Being a thinner mom doesn't make you a better fit for parenting. Being a bigger mom doesn’t make you a bad influence. No matter your size or circumstance, the greatest gift you can give them is unconditional love and unapologetic joy.”