The Catholic Church will choose a new pope beginning today—and after a week of Rand Paul’s shouting and Venezuela’s (partial) mourning, the silence might be a welcome break. And by silence, I mean silence—apparently most of the voting happens during meditation.

It seems wild, but remember, this is the ceremony sparking banter about the 1500s. The journalist who broke Pope Benedict’s resignation was able to do so because he understood Latin. Whether you wore slacks and button-ups to decades of Catholic school or you’ve only read The DaVinci Code, the conclave is a smoky mystery inside the Sistine Chapel, one of the art world’s most famous spaces.


Catholic services were in Latin until 1969, remember, and some Church terminology is still pretty medieval. Refer to our dictionary for context while you’re following this week’s news.

1. The College of Cardinals. Cardinals are the highest priests in the Catholic Church, and they can be stationed anywhere in the world (You’ve probably read about LA’s Roger Mahony recently). All cardinals younger than 80 can help elect the next pope, and 115 of them will do so this time. The president of the College is called the Dean, and he presides over the conclave and represents the Vatican publicly while it’s underway.

2. The cardinal deacons are the lowest-ranking cardinals. Cardinal priests are middling cardinals and usually bishops of important dioceses. There are only six cardinal bishops, and they preside over six historic dioceses in Italy (Note: the cardinals don’t have to be Italian). One of them serves as Dean.

3. A diocese is a district of the Church, and an archdiocese is a big diocese. LA is an archdiocese, so it’s overseen by an archbishop. Cleveland is a diocese led by a bishop. A diocese is also called a See—so when reporters talk about the “Holy See” in reference to Rome, they mean the holy diocese, whose archbishop is the Pope.

4. Sede vacante, Latin for “vacant seat,” is the period between papacies.

5. The General Congregation is the cardinals’ daily pre-conclave meeting. These talks are secret, but the Vatican Press Office has been briefing reporters on them daily this year. Thus far, they’ve defined modern problems (e.g. “inter-religious dialogue, bioethics, justice in the world, a positive proclamation of love and mercy, especially remembering [Bl. John Paul II] in his teaching on mercy, and collegiality,” according to Vatican Radio) and from there, talking about which cardinals might deal with them best as popes.

6. Pope Benedict XVI is the reason for the season. He was the Dean of the College of Cardinals under the previous pope (see #7), as well as his chief theologian, and was elected to the Papacy in 2005. People were shocked when he announced his resignation last month, becoming the first pope in about 600 years to do so.

7. Pope John Paul II preceded Benedict XVI. He was the first non-Italian pope since the 1500s (FYI, he was Polish). JP2, as my generation has nicknamed him, is famed for addressing young people: he started World Youth Day in 1984 and defined much of modern theology about sex.

8. Papal infallibility. It’s important to note that not everything the new pope says will be perfect. The Church has a specific set of conditions for infallible statements, and they’ve only been made twice since the 1860s. On average, that’s once every 75 years—so there’s a good chance the new pope won’t say anything that goes down as absolute dogma.

9. The Second Vatican Council (1962-65) was a three-year convention of bishops—2,600 in total—that modernized the church on basic tenets like the freedom of religion (which it now supports ardently) and celebrating church services in local languages instead of Latin (which are almost universal). Vatican II was long, transformative and pretty controversial, and it’s the source of most modern Catholic theology.

10. Papal candidates, or “papabili.” There are dozens of lists of Benedict’s potential successors and they name dozens of different men. The next pope will almost definitely be one of the cardinals present at this week’s conclave. Church law doesn’t require the pope to be a cardinal first, but that’s nearly always the case. Plus, popes have been European since 741 AD, but since more than two-thirds of the world’s Catholics now live in Africa, Asia and Latin America, some think it’s time to buck that trend.

11. Father Federico Lombardi is the director of the Vatican Press Office. If you see a statement attributed to him, it’s as official as it gets. Look for his weekly editorials.

12. Camerlengo Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone is currently acting as head of state of Vatican City. (Your mind is jumping to Dan Brown’s camerlengo, right? The one who (spoiler alert) set himself on fire and jumped off that basilica? Same title, but Bertone is as far as you can get from this guy). The rest of the Vatican administration will have to step down before the new Pope is chosen, but the Camerlengo manages its day-to-day affairs until after he’s installed.

Now that we’ve talked terminology, let’s define the thing itself. The conclave, specifically, is the time the cardinals spend in the Sistine Chapel each day.

The Cardinals have elected the Pope since the beginning of the formalized Church around 400 AD. And since about 1270, they’ve done so in near-secrecy. In fact, every General Congregation—even the ones this week, before the conclave itself opens—starts with a vow of secrecy.

The General Congregation is the time for conversation. Once inside the Sistine Chapel, they vote four times a day by written ballot (twice in the morning, twice after lunch). Each of those votes is called a scrutiny. Before each scrutiny, each cardinal gets two ballots. Then, a junior Cardinal Deacon draws nine names of cardinals present: three act as Scrutineers, three as Infirmarii, and three as Revisers.

The cardinals bring their completed ballots to the Sistine Chapel altar and take an oath. Scrutineers collect ballots from cardinals who can’t approach the altar, and Infirmarii visit cardinals confined to their rooms because of sickness. Then ballots are counted. If the right number were cast, the Scrutineers read the name on every ballot aloud.

Popes must be elected by a two-thirds majority. If that’s not reached, or if the Revisers find an error in the counting, another scrutiny starts immediately. If there’s no decision after the second vote, the cardinals burn every paper with a chemical that emits black smoke. After a lunch break, the second ballot (scrutinies 3 and 4) begins: the junior Cardinal Deacon chooses nine more facilitators, votes are read aloud, and after the second scrutiny, they’re burned together. White smoke denotes a successful election, which is why you’ll see cameras trained on the Sistine Chapel roof this week.

The new pope, whoever he’ll be, isn’t inheriting an easy Church. Accusations of sexual abuse and coverups by leadership are far too common, and some have suggested it’s time for another Vatican council to deal with women’s issues, like artificial birth control and female priests. The conclave reminds us how ancient Catholicism is. But the conversation about gender, race and language that surrounds it should reinforce its relevance.

  • Man’s dog suddenly becomes protective of his wife, Internet clocks the reason right away
    Dogs have impressive observational powers.Photo credit: Canva

    Reddit user Girlfriendhatesmefor’s three-year-old pitbull, Otis, had recently become overprotective of his wife. So he asked the online community if they knew what might be wrong with the dog.

    “A week or two ago, my wife got some sort of stomach bug,” the Reddit user wrote under the subreddit /r/dogs. “She was really nauseous and ill for about a week. Otis is very in tune with her emotions (we once got in a fight and she was upset, I swear he was staring daggers at me lol) and during this time didn’t even want to leave her to go on walks. We thought it was adorable!”

    His wife soon felt better, butthe dog’s behavior didn’t change.

    pregnancy signs, dogs and pregnancy, pitbull behavior, pet intuition, dog overprotection, Reddit stories, viral Reddit, dog instincts, canine emotions, dog owner tips
    Otis knew before they did. Canva

    Girlfriendhatesmefor began to fear that Otis’ behavior may be an early sign of an aggression issue or an indication that the dog was hurt or sick.

    So he threw a question out to fellow Reddit users: “Has anyone else’s dog suddenly developed attachment/aggression issues? Any and all advice appreciated, even if it’s that we’re being paranoid!”

    The most popular response to his thread was by ZZBC.

    Any chance your wife is pregnant?

    ZZBC | Reddit

    The potential news hit Girlfriendhatesmefor like a ton of bricks. A few days later, Girlfriendhatesmefor posted an update and ZZBC was right!

    “The wifey is pregnant!” the father-to-be wrote. “Otis is still being overprotective but it all makes sense now! Thanks for all the advice and kind words! Sorry for the delayed reply, I didn’t check back until just now!”

    Redditors responded with similar experiences.

    Anecdotal I know but I swear my dog knew I was pregnant before I was. He was super clingy (more than normal) and was always resting his head on my belly.

    realityisworse | Reddit

    So why do dogs get overprotective when someone is pregnant?

    Jeff Werber, PhD, president and chief veterinarian of the Century Veterinary Group in Los Angeles, told Health.com that “dogs can also smell the hormonal changes going on in a woman’s body at that time.” He added the dog may “not understand that this new scent of your skin and breath is caused by a developing baby, but they will know that something is different with you—which might cause them to be more curious or attentive.”

    The big lesson here is to listen to your pets and to ask questions when their behavior abruptly changes. They may be trying to tell you something, and the news may be life-changing.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Throughout history, women have stood up and fought to break down barriers imposed on them from stereotypes and societal expectations. The trailblazers in these photos made history and redefined what a woman could be. In doing so, they paved the way for future generations to stand up and continue to fight for equality.

  • ,

    Why mass shootings spawn conspiracy theories

    Mass shootings and conspiracy theories have a long history.

    While conspiracy theories are not limited to any topic, there is one type of event that seems particularly likely to spark them: mass shootings, typically defined as attacks in which a shooter kills at least four other people.

    When one person kills many others in a single incident, particularly when it seems random, people naturally seek out answers for why the tragedy happened. After all, if a mass shooting is random, anyone can be a target.

    Pointing to some nefarious plan by a powerful group – such as the government – can be more comforting than the idea that the attack was the result of a disturbed or mentally ill individual who obtained a firearm legally.


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