Experience is a good thing. The older we get and the more mistakes that we put behind us, the wisdom gained has more than just incredible value for ourselves. Sharing these life lessons with younger generations is good for everyone. There is a wealth of information available to anyone seeking a little guidance in their lives.
A Redditor shared that they appreciated an old man's advice from something they had read: “My grandpa once told me 'if you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.' He wasn’t talking about trains.” Finding this advice quite helpful, they sought more wisdom from the old folks. Through a Reddit post people started sharing some sayings they were told growing up.
These are some of the most helpful suggestions for navigating life:
from AskOldPeopleAdvice
"Be nice to everybody you meet on the way up the ladder. You'll see the same faces on the way down."
Treating people with respect and kindness goes a long way in any situation. If there's one thing that's been proven time and again about successful people, it's never guaranteed and most likely not to last forever. If you fall from the heights of achievement, it's good to have the compassion and help from others when you try to get back up. If you kicked them in the face on your way to the top, there's a good chance you're probably going to receive the same back during any setback.
Pinocchio falls off the ladder. media2.giphy.com
"It's never the wrong time to do the right thing."
There's a few ways to approach this concept. First being that living a life of integrity always has value. A good example, when people say it's such a small thing it doesn't matter, can make a difference. But if we can't deliver on the small things that aren't as important, it's unlikely we will be doing the right thing on the big ones either. The second concept could be a reflection on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s quote in his speech to Oberlin College in 1964, "The time is always right to do what is right." Don't wait for the perfect moment or when it's most convenient. This is just giving power to a person's inaction, and there's no time to wait for social justice and civil rights.
"It's easier to STAY out of trouble than GET out of trouble."
This surrounds concepts like "pause before you act." It's a lot easier to be patient before a problem starts. Most of my own pitfalls in particular are of the "putting my foot in my mouth" kind that could have been avoided if I just sat for a second before I acted on the thought. I've heard the spiritual maxim that life gives us time on the really important decisions. Unless of course there's a car about to hit you so get out of the way.
Kobe Bryant jumps car in commercial.media2.giphy.com
"The windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason."
This saying is about letting go of the past. It's important to learn from our successes and failures, but dwelling on them keeps us from accessing what's actually happening in the moment. If I have important decisions to make in my life and I'm still focused on the oops from a week ago, I might miss the opportunity to do something great today. All the sages suggest living in the today. Easier said than done, but knowing a healthy direction is helpful.
"Whenever it feels like an argument is brewing, ask yourself, is this the hill I want to die on?"
I've met plenty of people ready and motivated to have an aggressive conversation over any subject. It's easy to be triggered into a battle of ideas, especially when we feel that we're right and the other person is wrong. An older mentor gifted me an amazing concept that I do my best to employ whenever these situations come up: "Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? And does it need to be said by me?" In most cases the answer is 'no' so I get to shut up. It's actually a nice relief.
Pee Wee's Big Adventure the movie. media1.giphy.com
"You have two lives to live: the second begins when you realize you only have one."
This one hits me hard. It highlights how much time can be wasted pursuing and chasing the things that never mattered that much. Having a perspective shift and realizing delaying dreams, living passively, and avoiding risks is most likely not the life we want to reflect back upon. The book, Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom touches on this and showcases the importance of learning about love, life lessons, death, and forgiveness through meaningful interactions with Morrie, who is dying. It's incredibly helpful stuff.
"When you're worried about what other people are thinking about you, keep in mind that they aren't."
The basic truth is everyone is focused pretty much on their own journey first. Worrying about other people's opinions is often based on imagined judgements. Learning to live an authentic life and pursuing what one's own heart wants brings a liberated and confident lifestyle. Looking for outside affirmation can never live up to the tried-and-true power found in self esteem.
"I'm good enough..." Saturday Night live skit. media3.giphy.com
I've never come across anyone in their later years talking about how much they wished they could have worked more and spent less time with the people they loved and who loved them. This life thing is confusing, but the basics are pretty clear: seek out the wisdom of those who have done it before. Learning how to bring these philosophies into action can lead to a better experience and an overall good life.
This article originally appeared in May.
Ladder leads out of darkness.Photo credit 
Woman's reflection in shadow.Photo credit 
Young woman frazzled.Photo credit 
Robin Williams performs for military men and women as part of a United Service Organization (USO) show on board Camp Phoenix in December 2007
Gif of Robin Williams via
Will your current friends still be with you after seven years?
Professor shares how many years a friendship must last before it'll become lifelong
Think of your best friend. How long have you known them? Growing up, children make friends and say they’ll be best friends forever. That’s where “BFF” came from, for crying out loud. But is the concept of the lifelong friend real? If so, how many years of friendship will have to bloom before a friendship goes the distance? Well, a Dutch study may have the answer to that last question.
Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst and his team in the Netherlands did extensive research on friendships and made some interesting findings in his surveys and studies. Mollenhorst found that over half of your friendships will “shed” within seven years. However, the relationships that go past the seven-year mark tend to last. This led to the prevailing theory that most friendships lasting more than seven years would endure throughout a person’s lifetime.
In Mollenhorst’s findings, lifelong friendships seem to come down to one thing: reciprocal effort. The primary reason so many friendships form and fade within seven-year cycles has much to do with a person’s ages and life stages. A lot of people lose touch with elementary and high school friends because so many leave home to attend college. Work friends change when someone gets promoted or finds a better job in a different state. Some friends get married and have children, reducing one-on-one time together, and thus a friendship fades. It’s easy to lose friends, but naturally harder to keep them when you’re no longer in proximity.
Some people on Reddit even wonder if lifelong friendships are actually real or just a romanticized thought nowadays. However, older commenters showed that lifelong friendship is still possible:
“I met my friend on the first day of kindergarten. Maybe not the very first day, but within the first week. We were texting each other stupid memes just yesterday. This year we’ll both celebrate our 58th birthdays.”
“My oldest friend and I met when she was just 5 and I was 9. Next-door neighbors. We're now both over 60 and still talk weekly and visit at least twice a year.”
“I’m 55. I’ve just spent a weekend with friends I met 24 and 32 years ago respectively. I’m also still in touch with my penpal in the States. I was 15 when we started writing to each other.”
“My friends (3 of them) go back to my college days in my 20’s that I still talk to a minimum of once a week. I'm in my early 60s now.”
“We ebb and flow. Sometimes many years will pass as we go through different things and phases. Nobody gets buttsore if we aren’t in touch all the time. In our 50s we don’t try and argue or be petty like we did before. But I love them. I don’t need a weekly lunch to know that. I could make a call right now if I needed something. Same with them.”
Maintaining a friendship for life is never guaranteed, but there are ways, psychotherapists say, that can make a friendship last. It’s not easy, but for a friendship to last, both participants need to make room for patience and place greater weight on their similarities than on the differences that may develop over time. Along with that, it’s helpful to be tolerant of large distances and gaps of time between visits, too. It’s not easy, and it requires both people involved to be equally invested to keep the friendship alive and from becoming stagnant.
As tough as it sounds, it is still possible. You may be a fortunate person who can name several friends you’ve kept for over seven years or over seventy years. But if you’re not, every new friendship you make has the same chance and potential of being lifelong.