Do “colorful life experiences” make you a better mother?
What does it mean to “look like a mother”? Should she be a stay-at-home mom from the ‘50s with a tray of cookies in her arms and a set of pearls tightly strung around her neck? Or maybe she wears a business suit and has a gold necklace with her child’s name inscribed? But she couldn’t possibly have long, died pink hair, a nose ring, and tattoos, right? Mommy blogger Gylisa Jayne thinks you’re dead wrong if you think otherwise.
Recently, Jayne heard someone say she wasn’t the type “to be a mum.” So she came back with an epic Facebook post explaining why women who have “colorful life experiences” may even be better suited for parenthood than those who haven’t “experienced a bit of life beforehand.”
Here’s an excerpt from her post:
Someone said to me a few days ago, that she hadn't thought i was the type ‘to be a Mum.’
Mothers are meant to sacrifice every aspect of themselves, to fulfill their role.
Mothers aren't allowed expensive bags, or shopping trips out, or to have a fresh manicure every few weeks.
Mothers aren’t meant to have tattoos, or coloured hair or piercings.
Mothers aren’t supposed to have histories of being reckless, feckless or just plain fun.
Mothers aren’t meant to have had a colourful life of experiences before they bear children, they are expected to forget their identity to raise someone else.
But how can we raise our children effectively if we haven't experienced a bit of life beforehand ?
Without navigating my own chequered past how could I possibly hope to guide a new soul through similar times ?
When we become mothers, it isn't because we are just dying to wipe someone else's arse.
It's because we want to add to our lives, and watch someone else grow.
Motherhood isn't an exclusive club that you can only get into if you look or act the right way.
It's full of women that all have lives and tales and colourful histories.
Women of every type, from every background and every descent.
Women that swear, women that don't, women that are real, and women that don’t give a fuck about what you think.…
So I might not fit someone else’s expectations of how I should be, but my daughter reckons I'm doing a pretty good job.
A lot of her Facebook followers think that Jayne is doing a pretty good job as well.
Here’s Jayne’s full post: