10 ways people recovered from losing their 'dream job' and saw they were actually better off

One day, you’re awake and doing the thing you felt you were born to do and then, unfortunately, you get the call, email, or Zoom that begins with an “I’m sorry.” Losing your dream job can be devastating, and it may be hard to bounce back from the disappointment. Fortunately, there are people who have experienced this loss and recovered who can offer hope.

Many folks went on Reddit to offer compassion, experience, and wisdom to a person who lost their dream job after working there for six months. They shared encouragement, how they coped, what helped them ease the hurt, and explained how they’re no longer burdened with the loss:

1. Grieve

“The various stages of grief apply here and they do not happen in any kind of order.”

2. Let your feelings be felt

“What helped me was letting myself be sad without trying to solve it immediately, then slowly reframing it as data instead of a verdict on my worth.”

3. Try to avoid the “what could have been”

“Don’t fantasize and think about ‘what could have been’ because it never was. Just take it day by day and you will get through this and find something better. You will.”

4. Acknowledge that you’re hurt because you’re a good worker

“This hurt means you cared and that's not cringe, take the lesson then go cook at the next gig.”

5. Treat it like a break-up but know you’re not broken

“Job loss can hit like a break-up, especially when it ends suddenly. Let yourself grieve it, take the lessons you can control, and don’t beat yourself up over the rest. The right next role will fit you better and you’ll show up smarter because of this.”

6. Change can be sudden, but opportunities can come from it.

“Not every storm is there to destroy your life, some are there to clear a path.”

7. Do other things you want to do that aren’t related to work or your career

“For me, it was the small things. Getting a dinner I liked, playing a game I enjoy, going for a walk, finally getting around to building the bookshelf I ordered…Do something you've been putting off because of work. Maybe take the time to visit family if you can. There's always something waiting for you out there.”

8. Love your work but don’t be in love with your job

“I lost what was the coolest job I’ve ever had due to layoffs. After that my mindset around work and dealing with colleges and bosses changed, and weirdly enough, I learned to love all the jobs I’ve done since then. I realized that my work can just treat me like another gear in the machine, and that means I am by no means beholden to them or anything they say, and that’s freeing.”

9. Maybe your dream job actually wasn’t the dream job

“The love of your life wouldn't dump you after six months. Same with your dream job. Your dream job is not the one that let you go after six months. If anything, take this in a positive stride that it only cost you six months of your life and you learned something. Now the coast is clear once again for you to stumble upon your actual dream job.”

10. Know that you’re an upgrade to the person you were before you had the dream job

“Perspective is key. You're leaving this experience with more insight, knowledge, and awareness than you were going into it. Start by acknowledging that one job experience does not determine your worth as an individual.”

Wise guidance from experts

Career experts reached out to GOOD to offer their thoughts on how to recover after losing a dream job.

“Take time off after a layoff,” suggested career coach Ruth Sternberg. “Give yourself a few days to adjust to the shock.”

“Give yourself permission to rest and reset before rushing into what’s next. When you’re ready, this moment can offer a useful perspective,” said Paula Mathias-Fryer, Senior Director of SLO Partners. “The time between roles works best when it’s treated as a rebuild, not a scramble.”

“After processing the feelings, then we can get at what the beliefs were that were associated with a life with this job: ‘This job was my path to happiness,’ ‘I was only lovable if I had that role,’ or ‘That role made me worthy as a person,’” said psychotherapist Jamie Keaton Jones. “While motivating, these beliefs are also quite limiting. The idea that one can only live a good or happy life if one only has this one specific job is simply not true.”

“In the meantime, rebuild your foundation with structure that has nothing to do with work: a morning routine, exercise, one daily human connection with another person, and one ‘win’ that you can get done today,” suggests Natalie Spiro, CEO of Blue Fire Leadership and Drum Café North America. “That’s how you stabilize your mood and self-worth until the job search catches up with you. The point isn’t to pretend that it didn’t hurt; it’s to remind yourself that you are bigger than one company’s decision.”

When you’re ready to get back into the job hunt, experts encourage people to be proud of what they achieve that is within their control.

“Celebrate effort over outcomes,” suggested career coach Rikki Goldenberg. “Most people I talk to have a date: ‘I want to have a new role in X months.’ Great, but we don't have control over that part of the process. We can control your input, not the outcome. So celebrate your hard work and effort, rather than outcomes you lack control over.”

If you lose your dream job, reality can hit hard, but know that you were always worthy and other employers will see that worth, too.