15 brilliant thoughts you could only have in the shower

“A paper cut is a tree's last revenge."

You are standing under the nozzle, naked, rinsing out your hair, and suddenly you come up with a philosophical question worthy of Socrates—or at least your vaped-out best friend.

Now there’s a subreddit group for you. Showerthoughts is the place to share “thoughts, ideas, or philosophical questions that race through your head when in the shower.” The creators of the group also define showerthoughts a bit more broadly, as “a loose term that applies to any thought you might have while carrying out a routine task like showering, driving, or daydreaming.” Basically: those moments when you are suddenly as wise as Yoda. And with a listing that is more than 5 million subscribers strong, apparently you are not alone. Here are the top 15 posts thus far.

1) If machines become sentient, and we become extinct, they will eventually wonder how they came to exist. And the creationists will be right.

2) Hot water heaters should be called cold water heaters

3) The superstition that walking under ladders is bad luck was probably started by guys who didn't want to get knocked off their ladders.

4) How come sweaters are the most uncomfortable thing to sweat in?

5) Having really slow internet is more frustrating then having no internet at all.

6) What if people started abusing the word “figuratively” as much as people abuse “literally”

7) The word “bed” actually looks like a bed.

8) Birds have sex.

9) Vodka is already an excellent oral anti-septic... AND you can drink it!

10) A papercut is a tree’s last revenge.

11) If a phone call disconnects mid call, there should be a form of etiquette where by the original caller should always be the re-dialler as to avoid the double dial and subequent busy tone

12) Shouldn’t scented Deoderant [sic] be called Reoderant?

13) If we could stop adding “-gate” to the end of every scandal, that would be great.

14) Old people aren’t cheap. They just used to paying less for things because of inflation.

15) If you’ve ever given blood, chances are it could be in someone’s boner right now.

via David Leavitt / Twitter

Anyone who has ever worked in retail knows that the worst thing about the job, right after the pay, are the unreasonable cheapskates who "want to talk to your manager" to get some money off an item.

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Twitter is rallying around a gal named Tori who works at a Target in Massachusetts after she was tweet-shamed by irate chapekate, journalist, and Twitter troll, David Leavitt.

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