Would you go back to being 9, where your biggest worries were times tables and playground drama? Or maybe your early 20s, filled with endless possibilities, late-night adventures, and no back pain?
While pop culture tends to glorify youth, a recent survey found that people’s favorite age isn’t childhood or early adulthood. It’s 36.
Many people say their 30s are when life starts to click.Representative photo by Canva
As surprising as that may sound, developmental psychologist I think it actually makes perfect sense.
The surprisingly joyful “crunch years”
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For the last four years, I've been studying people in their 30s and early 40s. My colleagues and I even coined a new term for this often-overlooked life stage: established adulthood — defined as ages 30 to 45.
It’s a time packed with major milestones: building careers, starting (or ending) marriages, raising kids, buying homes, or deciding not to follow any of those paths. It’s also when people start juggling demanding work responsibilities with caregiving for children, partners, or aging parents — what my colleagues and I call “the career and care crunch.”
At first, I expected to hear mostly stories of stress. But as we gathered data from hundreds of interviews and surveys, something unexpected emerged.
Yes, people were busy and overwhelmed. But they were also happy.
Stress and satisfaction often go hand in hand in your 30s.Representative photo via Canva
“I feel very solidly happy in this space right now,” said Yuying, 44. Nina, 39, described herself as “wildly happy.”
All names were changed to preserve participant anonymity, but the themes were strikingly consistent.
“I’ve put together a machine that finally works”
Many people reported feeling like their lives were finally clicking into place. After years of working on their careers, relationships, and personal growth, they felt confident and accomplished.
Mark, 36, said, “I’ve put together a machine that’s finally got all the parts it needs.”
adulthood, happiness research, confident adult, life in your 30s, parenting and careerwww.youtube.com
Jodie, also 36, shared that she had finally figured out what really mattered. “You don’t waste a bunch of time going on half a dozen dates with someone who’s not going to work out,” she said. “Your friend circle becomes a lot closer because you weed out the people that bring drama.”
Even the physical signs of aging didn’t seem to dampen the joy. Lisa, 37, said, “If I could go back physically but had to go back emotionally and mentally? No way. I’d take flabby skin lines every day.”
It’s not ideal for everyone
It’s important to note that not everyone experiences this phase the same way.
The original research largely focused on middle-class North Americans, many of whom were white. For people navigating systemic barriers — whether financial, racial, or otherwise — the “best years” might look very different.
And while the early 2020s were defined by a global pandemic that intensified pressure on parents and caregivers, many people are now navigating a post-pandemic world with more clarity about their priorities. For some, this reset has reaffirmed the value of their 30s — a time when they gained emotional strength, resilience, and purpose.
Rather than a decade of stress, many now view their 30s as a period of growth, hard-won insight, and, surprisingly, happiness.
age and happiness, 30s life, established adulthood, emotional maturity, parenting and career, midlife joy, life satisfaction, adult friendshipswww.youtube.com
The sweet spot worth paying attention to
That so many people would choose their 30s as their ideal age suggests this life stage deserves more attention.
Books like But You’re Still So Young by Kayleen Schaefer are helping to highlight the stories of people building careers, navigating relationships, and confronting big life questions in this decade.
But You’re Still So Young by Kayleen SchaeferAmazon
Clare Mehta is an Associate Professor of Psychology, Emmanuel College. This article originally appeared six years ago on The Conversation. You can read it here.
Ketel Marte was brought to tears during an MLB game after facing a shameful fan taunt.
Baseball manager's poignant support for a player brought to tears after shameful fan taunt
Whether they’re expecting perfection from their favorite players or, worse, behaving callously toward opposing teams, sports fans often forget that athletes are human beings. But athletic competition has the ability to unify and uplift, even amid such painful and unpleasant encounters. Take, for example, a major-league baseball game held June 24, 2025 between the home team Chicago White Sox and visiting Arizona Diamondbacks.
A shameful low point occurred when Diamondbacks second baseman Ketel Marte was at bat in the seventh inning. Per ESPN, a fan reportedly yelled out a comment regarding Marte’s late mother, Elpidia Valdez, who died in a 2017 car accident in the Dominican Republic. Team personnel, including manager Torey Lovullo, then requested the 22-year-old fan be ejected. (Though he was remorseful and admitted his actions were inappropriate, according to an ESPN source, he was nonetheless banned indefinitely from all MLB ballparks.) "We commend the White Sox for taking immediate action in removing the fan," the MLB said in a statement. Marte reportedly declined to comment.
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While the fan’s behavior is inexcusable, it did spark a powerful and inspiring moment. After hearing the comment, Marte was visibly upset, prompting Lovullo to walk on the field, put his arm around him, and offer some words of encouragement. "[I said,] 'I love you, and I’m with you, and we’re all together, and you’re not alone,'" Lovullo said in a post-game interview, as documented by The Rich Eisen Show. "'No matter what happens, no matter what was said or what you’re heard, that guy is an idiot.’"
According to Arizona Republic, Lovullo heard the fan’s comment but didn’t want to repeat it. “I looked right at [Marte] when I heard,” he said. “I looked right at him, and he looked at the person, as well. He put his head down and I could tell it had an immediate impact on him, for sure."
Elsewhere in the post-game interview, the manager called the moment "terrible" and reflected on why he stood up for Marte. "Fans are nasty, and fans go too far sometimes," he said. "I love my players, and I’m gonna protect them…I’ve known Ketel for nine years. He’s had some unbelievably great moments and some hardships as well and some really tough moments in his life. I know those. At the end of the day, we’re human beings, and we have emotions. I saw him hurting, and I wanted to protect him."
- YouTubewww.youtube.com
The following day, the Chicago White Sox X account sent out a message in support of Marte, writing, "We’re with you" and "Baseball is family." On The Rich Eisen Show, the show's host addressed the need to eradicate this kind of toxic athlete-fan interaction: "I was hearing [people saying], 'There’s no place for this in major league baseball.' There isn’t. There’s no place for this in our society. I understand that people are saying the MLB has got to do something about this. Fans have a right to heckle players—this is something that has happened forever…But there is a line."
In another recent, depressing sports moment with a beautiful coda, let’s look to Game 7 of the NBA Finals between the Indiana Pacers and the eventual champions, the Oklahoma City Thunder. During the first quarter, Pacers point guard Tyrese Haliburton tore his right Achilles tendon—a devastating injury that could potentially sideline him for most of the 2025-2026 season. Following the game, in a lovely display of sportsmanship, Thunder point-guard and league MVP Shai Gilgeous-Alexander went to the Pacers locker room to check on his competitor. In a press conference, he said, "You just hate to see it, in sports in general. But in this moment, my heart dropped for him. I can't imagine playing the biggest game of my life and something like that happening. It’s so unfortunate."
- YouTubewww.youtube.com